On Bad Habits - Why Texting That Old LVM Is A Form Of Self Harm, & YOU AREN’T A SPORT! Why He Doesn’t Qualify For A ‘Second Shot’ - Don’t Let Your Vulnerability Be His Advantage.

It’s easier said than done, and I’m guilty of it just as much as the next woman.

But we need to admit this and address it as what it is. Do you ever notice the patterns? You don’t exactly find yourself scrolling through your old conversations, obsessing over him, even going as far as to “reconnect” (AKA. deliberate self anguish, girl!) when you’re doing super great in life, huh? It’s always when those other issues come back, floating around your head like constant reminders of the immediacy of the now - the now that you’re living in. And suddenly, he doesn’t seem so bad. After all, did he really mean (x)? (He did, spoilers). People aren’t perfect, and oh, somebody just said something that he’d just totally GET, if only - maybe you sh-

Stop. You are rationalising your own psychological abuse.

You’re - I - am a creature of comfort and control. I believe on some level, we all are. Some of us are more prone to seeking out comfort in the less than healthy - but more familiar - ways of our past than others.

Feel that discomfort. Feel that pain. Delve into it, and don’t run from it.

If I’m being honest with myself - am I tired? Am I breaking out? Have I gained weight? Have I lost weight? have I had a long shift? Do I want to take my mind off of things? Is my degree making me feel like a cog in a machine? Is my boss on my ass? Do I feel bored with my love life? Do I feel envious of other people’s stable relationships?

What is causing you, me, us - what is causing us to want to go back to that unhealthy scenario? What is at the root of this self-harming behaviour?

There’s a lot of talk nowadays about self esteem. Truth is, you can’t always feel like a million dollars. You can, however, be better - emotionally, mentally. And that requires realism.

Do you miss him? Or do you miss the way you felt at that time?

He’s not the main character in YOUR story. He is not the essential, constant factor.

Put your phone down. Your life will continue. Be comfortable in your own discomfort - and work on yourself.

You are the constant. Period.