Own It!!

gone-aria · 2020-11-18T20:50:32+00:00

I’ve gotten told by many people that I was intimidating, all the way from middle school and highschool up until now. I always take it as a compliment. It’s funny because I’m actually super friendly when I start talking!

I think what people find intimidating about me is that I have a very calm demeanour and I (generally) seem like I have my shit together. I’ve been told when I’m out in public alone I look like I’m “on a mission” and look like I don’t want to be disturbed. (True) RBF may also be a contributing factor.

If all of that makes me intimidating... well... okay!

Cityshy · 2020-11-18T18:49:26+00:00

I always took "intimidating" as a compliment because my strong demeanor helps to keep LVM away. Shoo! 👸

Ghost_namesake · 2020-11-18T18:55:29+00:00

I wish I had heard this as a teenager. I was told I was intimidating, so I made myself smaller to be accepted.

thedutchqueen · 2020-11-19T01:45:13+00:00

we all need a friend like Rebecca

denverkris · 2020-11-18T22:17:01+00:00

a smart, strong man = confident, outgoing, a go getter

a smart, strong woman = intimidating, bossy, a bitch

Equal-Ear2312 · 2020-11-18T19:41:51+00:00

damn right! it's not my job to walk on eggshells just so you can keep your masculine ego intact.

also, beware! when they say stuff like: "you make me feel/do/say..." pause and think hard.

Lundy Bancrof in his book "why does he do that?" is pretty clear on the red flags: abusive men cannot own their emotions and their actions. they are the type that will do horrible things and then blame it on you: "look what you made me do" is their favorite motto.

we do not make anyone do anything! we do not make them lose control or say bad shit or feel emasculated or intimidated.

they choose to feel that way because they are so effing disconnected from their emotional side and they cannot psychologically own their own reactions. they cannot self regulate and their introspection is in the dumps.

A man that says: you make me feel this or that... is just nah. Not responsible and accountable for his inner life. No one is making *you* feel shit. You *feel* intimidated because there are unresolved tensions in your life, not because a woman happens to walk past you or open her mouth. A woman is not a factor. The factor is something deep inside that man that he tries to suppress or doesn't address properly and it's causing him problems. This is why I avoid emotionally stunted men like the plague.

HornetKick · 2020-11-19T01:28:25+00:00

I’m always being told I have an attitude. The way I behave will get me into trouble.

It’s literally just me having an opinion and not being impressed by men.

Hmtnsw · 2020-11-18T21:15:10+00:00

I had a man once tell me he thought I was intimidating.

I took it as a compliment. Own the power. Wear the crown.

ChocolateBiscuit96 · 2020-11-19T00:11:01+00:00

Many people say I look really mean and intimidating but once I speak, they’re like “omg, I thought I wouldn’t like you”. Welp, that’s my face and idk what to tell you. If you feel some of type way, then that’s on you!

FeminineImperative · 2020-11-18T21:03:14+00:00

I get "talked to" at work because coworkers find me intimidating. Sorry me doing my job really well scares you? What am I supposed to do about that, do a worse job? No.

Confection_Efficient · 2020-11-18T22:11:48+00:00

Omg I got this from my last manager at a fortune 100 company. I’m so glad I realized HE was initimidated by me and stopped feeling f’ing bad that I’m a powerful woman with things called thoughts and intellect.

We are allowed to be powerful, ladies.

AliceKingsly · 2020-11-19T01:31:29+00:00

I've gotten told his in past and I've always taken it as a compliment. Although it was shocking when this girl thought I was goinga fight her after she accidentally bumped into me when I tried to walk past her afterwards. She literally backed up in fear and apologized profusely and I'm just like ?🤨 I'm just trying to get by. Plus she was WAY bigger than me. If we had gotten into a fight she would've broken some of my bones (I'm skinny and short. 5'5).

yolosunshine · 2020-11-19T02:49:45+00:00

“Aannoying” “bitchy” “clingy”

These words could on the off chance be what they mean.

“Intimidating” however ALWAYS means ‘your competence or presence makes me feel unworthy of your interest and I’m gonna go hide now.

PrivyPal · 2020-11-18T21:03:40+00:00

This categorizes as a "them problem" for sure!

RavenWudgieRose · 2020-11-19T06:46:18+00:00

Oof, I wish my friends in high school backed me up like this. I was targeted by the mean girls and boys when I did absolutely nothing wrong except draw in my own corner, and they would taunt me with "can you even smile?" And would still make fun of me for smiling because I "looked weirder without my RBF, after all"... the very definition of damned if you don't and damned if you do. Oh well, teenage me would never believe that I can use my RBF to my advantage in the adult world and finally be taken seriously.

seekingcodingjedi · 2020-11-19T10:47:36+00:00

In India we have terms for this: 'good girl', 'simple girl', 'homely' which all basically mean : you are a doormat and we love that because we can walk all over you.

2020-11-19T07:08:46+00:00

[removed]

Title	Own It!!
Author	justme8000
Upvotes	3547
Comments	41
Date	November 18, 2020 5:46 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jwkewg/own_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/own-it.733050 https://theredarchive.com/post/733050

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