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Caedere01
[–]UpbeatIncubatorFDS Newbie123 points124 points125 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I LOVE how this vibe is becoming more mainstream. No more toptoeing around LVM and NVM who can't take care of themslves properly and make it our job.
You do not need a relationship to be a fulfilled person. It is icing on the cake. Never ever forget that and never let NVM take away that freedom from you.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist81 points82 points83 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Where is the lie?!
If only I did this in my teens and 20s rather than thirsting after fuckboys or even wasting years on decent guys. It becomes engrained in your mind and a hard to change habit in your 30s, even though logically you know it brings you no satisfaction. Still working on just levelling up in life and keeping men on the side.
[–]beatlefreak_1981FDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes this exactly. I wish someone had just said this to me 20 years ago. Who knows if I would have listened though.
[–]Otters-eating-tacosFDS Newbie59 points60 points61 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I wasted my entire teenage years on shitty relationships with men. I wish I just enjoyed my youth, focused on school and joined clubs and whatnot. I honestly probably would have won scholarships and built healthier self esteem & more talent. Focusing on pleasing men before I was ready for a relationship skewed my entire direction of my life.
I'm just making up for my lost youth in my early twenties now and its even sweeter because I have a great career, my own apartment, I moved to another state. Although I wasted years of vital self development, its amazing dropping money on expensive hobbies and being old enough to get away for the weekend with my friends. I'm cutting off serious relationships until I'm done traveling & have a house.
[–]Caedere01FDS Newbie[S] 30 points31 points32 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Here's the silver lining though: now you can appreciate the life you live way more because you know what the other option is. Gratitude goes a long way when it comes to mental health and knowing that you didn't tie yourself down for some dude and that you can live your best life is especially great.
[–]Otters-eating-tacosFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes this is true. And now I'm at the age where people are getting into those serious enough relationships to marry soon, getting houses and apartments with their SOs. Since I'm so burnt out from dating throughout my teenage years, I'm going to dodge all that shit and hold out for someone at peak HVM.
Thank you for your input, I really appreciate hearing that. Gratitude is an easy thing to practice and goes a long way :) I'm proud of the next generation of women who seem to be learning from our mistakes, just like we learned from the mistakes of our mothers and grandmothers
[–]mightbethrowawayyyFDS Newbie38 points39 points40 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So true. I completely ignored dudes in my teenage and college years, and those were the most fulfilling years in my life. I learned so many things and traveled to so many places.
Ever since I started to date things have been going downhill
[–]bigtoebigtoeFDS Apprentice26 points27 points28 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I have a lot of anxiety about teaching this to my daughter. What if she doesnt take me seriously? Shes only 1 now but i really worry about her future when it comes to men. I dont want to be authoritative and controlling. But i also dont want her to be like i was.
[–]immortallogicFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Honestly if I had a daughter, as soon as she is old enough, show her evidence. Show her the threads where men totally degrade and day debased things about women. But also give her ways to arm herself, knowledge, enroll her in self defense and above all teach her to be independent and unapologetic.
Unfortunately I don't think the world is getting much better in many cases for women, we are making strides but in many cases things are moving backwards, the advent of technology has made Exploitation and the dynamic of sex really skewed, and casual sexism (and way worse) is being normalized.
It won't be easy for you or her, but it's better if she learns from a young age as I'm sure many of us wish we did. Raise her to raise hell!!
[–]dzgataFDS Apprentice3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Honestly make sure your approach is one of reason and that you allow her to voice her opinions and questions without feeling shamed or forced into anything. People tend to reject beliefs that are presented in a negative or harsh manner no matter how true they may be. Work on exposing her to empowering content. Be cautious of the shows you let her watch at home from a young age. And offer her good books to read. Always remind her that her boundaries and her feelings are valid and not to be dismissed. If you focus on empowering her and showing her the reasoning and logic behind why society is falling short about many issues, I’m sure she’ll grow up just fine.
[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ain't this the truth. The part that kills me was how many men wasted my time on purpose. They were gleeful about it and got off on lying to me and other women.
[–]WestAtmosphereFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This x 10000000000
I wish I could had learnt this in high school.
[–]immortallogicFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Teach it to all the young girls in your life
[–]WestAtmosphereFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep! I don’t know many due to just being at that stage in life. But if I ever have a daughter you better bet I will encourage her to live HER best life and not rely on men for an identity. They need to know their worth early on 👏👏👏
[–]LattikaFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also, absolutely avoid men who try and give you "constructive criticism". As in, "guys don't like X" or "you would look better if you just Y".
They will always say it's constructive criticism. Why are they giving constructive criticism to you as a person? You are a person, not a doctorate thesis. There is nothing constructive about it other than them projecting their fetishes onto their idealized version of you.
[–]TERFSareawesomeFDS Apprentice6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
100%. And the thing is even if you do get that male acceptance, you will realize so quickly how worthless it is. It adds nothing to your life- nothing. Think of all the sad playboy models who have floundered and had horrible lives. They got a whole lot of male approval and none of it translated to men actually supporting them, their careers, etc. It's just pointless.
[–]bey124FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
YES🙏 I hope this message reaches a lot of young women and helps them progress in life the way THEY see fit.
[–]DenimiaaFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Coming from a 62 year old, that is excellent advise that does require lots of self discipline. You are only made stronger for it though.
[–]saydeesaltFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The only man I want to pursue and make happy is my brother Jesus Christ 🙏
[–]CyberJen1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Some of the best advice tho
[–]TriniGoldFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
👏🏾
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[–]UpbeatIncubatorFDS Newbie123 points124 points125 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist81 points82 points83 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]beatlefreak_1981FDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Otters-eating-tacosFDS Newbie59 points60 points61 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Caedere01FDS Newbie[S] 30 points31 points32 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Otters-eating-tacosFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mightbethrowawayyyFDS Newbie38 points39 points40 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bigtoebigtoeFDS Apprentice26 points27 points28 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]immortallogicFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dzgataFDS Apprentice3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]WestAtmosphereFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]immortallogicFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]WestAtmosphereFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LattikaFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TERFSareawesomeFDS Apprentice6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bey124FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DenimiaaFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]saydeesaltFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CyberJen1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TriniGoldFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link