Seeking some advice...

AyemHerself · 2020-01-23T03:53:59+00:00

He can't message you if you block him. Do that now.

popfriday · 2020-01-23T04:13:17+00:00

Honestly it sounds like you need some serious on going therapy. Can you get a hold of a councilor?

supremelyparanoid · 2020-01-23T03:55:53+00:00

My friend, looks like you need to reclaim your confidence and self esteem back! You need to block this person on everything and move on. I know it’s hard but get back online and keep swiping and talking to other dudes! Forget this guy!

turquoiseblues · 2020-01-23T06:59:51+00:00

He can play you because you are addicted to him. And because of your addiction, you keep looking for reasons to keep talking to him.

Check out the book "the betrayal bond" and speak with a savvy female therapist about this.

glittersparklesglitz · 2020-01-23T03:46:19+00:00

This sounds like narcissistic abuse. Go on YouTube and search that term, look for videos by Dr. Ramani.

aclumsygirl · 2020-01-23T04:09:16+00:00

Well, you know what you have to do. Block him everywhere. And frankly, since it sounds like you have no willpower against him, if theres something you can say or do that will make HIM stop contacting you, I'd consider doing it.

But after you do dump him, the bigger and far more important work is all internal. It's not your fault he's an asshole, but you need to figure out why you attached to someone who treated you so cruelly. You really do have to address that, or you'll always be a magnet for guys like this.

alli4202 · 2020-01-23T04:09:55+00:00

What if he finds other ways to contact me? And has even shown up at my house when I did follow through with blocking?

meecy166 · 2020-01-23T04:21:30+00:00

Sounds kind of like my ex, please seek therapy, you sound young, I go to school counseling and it is amazing, you should try it, you would get to the root of the situation and before you know it, you’re free

perhapsbutnottoday · 2020-01-23T10:03:55+00:00

Gimme your phone, baby...

YgirlYB · 2020-01-23T11:09:33+00:00

You've tied your self worth to him and his validation. To you now, if you get him, you're worthy and you've won. The only way to win is not to play. Time to fall in love with YOURSELF!

Start thinking about yourself and separate your self worth from the idea of him. Then block everywhere and stay away from him like you would from a dangerous animal.

Good luck!

alli4202 · 2020-01-23T04:06:13+00:00

Ya...it's like I can't follow through....what in the actual f is that....

kiyankiriam · 2020-01-23T11:37:32+00:00

The guys nuts. He should check in with therapist instead of talking to you. Block him

jazzyjazcons · 2020-01-23T12:45:23+00:00

First you have to realize that he is not that into you. That’s can be a really hard reality to accept, but once you make your peace with it, it’d be easier. You’ll then figure out yourself what exact technique works for you. And this alone will be a good deterrent in moments of weakness.

Mixed messages, disrespect = he is not that into you. It will never go anywhere. It’s not going to get better, only going to get worst. You will wake up months, years later only to regret how much time you’ve wasted. You don’t deserve this, you deserve a real relationship, someone who adores you. Put yourself out there and find your person. He is obviously not it, time to move on. Besides dating other people will keep you busy and be a fun, but yet effective distraction from him.

Good luck!

surviveIIthrive · 2020-01-23T12:59:46+00:00

This is clearly a troll.

AnnieandFish · 2020-01-23T16:45:13+00:00

If you have a male relative that could stay with you and keep him away from visiting your house personally, that could help safety-wise. If you’re concerned for your safety, seek out a restraining order. The advice to block in other comments is all good. You need whatever support system, be it therapy or family or friends, that you can go to that isn’t him. He needs to be out of your life altogether, or you will be stuck with him cyclically.

africantheindian · 2020-01-23T09:13:01+00:00

Honestly, block him and delete the number. No emotional blackmail or hurt from him will be able to come through. Remember that the only person that can make the biggest change in your life - let him go and seek some professional counselling.

holobunni · 2020-01-23T15:24:03+00:00

If you need someone to talk you through it when you feel like unblocking him and apologizing, hmu. I know how helpful it can be to have someone talk you through it when you first start this whole mentality.

charenton_ · 2020-01-23T06:38:59+00:00

These have been recommended over and over in this sub but I highly encourage you to read Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft and The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. Both are available for free as PDFs online. I've read both in the last three weeks and they have helped me enormously.

https://www.docdroid.net/py03/why-does-he-do-that.pdf

https://img.4plebs.org/boards/tg/image/1492/79/1492792685806.pdf

Title	Seeking some advice...
Author	alli4202
Upvotes	27
Comments	42
Date	January 23, 2020 3:41 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/esnlbr/seeking_some_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/seeking-some-advice.694440 https://theredarchive.com/post/694440

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