Set some boundaries and 💥BOOM💥 His head exploded.

Spittens · 2021-04-12T21:38:36+00:00

Block and delete. This scrote is not worth wasting any more time or energy on.

He called you a bitch. That alone should be enough for you to be done with him.

It doesn't matter that he's an addict. He needs to sort that shit out. You can't, and shouldn't, do it for him.

ETA; Longterm friendship or not, he's obviously still just trying to keep you in rotation for possible future sex/support, even if you know that isn't going to happen and you've told him, he sees your resistance to cutting him out of your life completely as his 'in'.

Please, for your own sake, cut him from your life as completely as possible. When he shows up to talk say no and close the door in his face. You will never have peace from him if you don't remove him as completely as possible.

JippityB · 2021-04-12T21:52:49+00:00

[permanently deleted]

chunkycasper · 2021-04-12T22:29:22+00:00

Seconding, thirding etc. Everyone who is saying block and delete. He doesn't accept boundaries and he called you a bitch. You grew up together so if he really wants to seek you out to apologise once he is sober again, he'll probably know how to do that. By then, you'll have had time to think about whether you would accept his apology or not.

Addiction is a disease, but we're all independently responsible for managing our respective health issues. They are not, and never should be, an excuse for making someone else feel unhappy or invalidated.

purasangria · 2021-04-12T22:57:43+00:00

Why, sis? Why let this NVM into your life again?

Please read the handbook before posting again. This behavior by men is talked about there. You need a refresher.

all_or_nothing_bet · 2021-04-12T23:16:08+00:00

Good job for setting your boundaries! Unfortunately, you can't win with an alcoholic. He'll keep relapsing and exploiting your kindness unless he goes through some serious rehab. He will torture you like this for the rest of his or your life.

sagisister · 2021-04-13T00:31:02+00:00

I don’t even care how much of a b*tch it makes me, I’ll never again in my life mess around with an addict. I know myself and my needs, and addicts are way too selfish.

I dated an addict who claimed he was 5 years sober (off h). Lo and behold he would drink a fifth of vodka nightly and claimed it didn’t count against his sobriety. He also expected me to be his bang-mommy and pay for anything he wanted... fat freaking chance bud.

Never feel bad for any of your own personal limits. Addicts are needy and desperate people who will hurt you for their own comfort, if they haven’t put in any work to heal.

throwaway32132134 · 2021-04-12T22:57:17+00:00

I've experienced relationships with addictions and I wholeheartedly agree with what your saying about being night and day different people. I think setting boundaries was really good and important. However, I think it's important to keep in mind he may not become sober again. I know someone that was sober for years, went to school, got a job, a place to live then got sucked in again. They haven't been sober since. I think it's important to prioritize yourself. If he can't be a part of your life in a healthy way then you need to accept that. Addictions really hard to overcome and there is still so much that's unknown about it. Certain substances change your brain chemistry. I think time will only tell, but I think you are doing the right thing with distancing yourself.

basuragoddess · 2021-04-13T00:05:35+00:00

I’m sorry, it really sucks when an alleged HVM turn out to be a LVM. I’m always sus of any man who will call a woman he cares about a bitch. 🤷🏽‍♀️

elainejay82 · 2021-04-13T00:50:56+00:00

Don't even bother being "friends" with an ex. It's always some bs.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-04-13T01:15:37+00:00

Stop talking to this person. Block him.

throwaway32132134 · 2021-04-12T23:40:47+00:00

I don't know if this is helpful. Hopefully it is. I didn't mention it in my first comment because I try not to disclose info about myself online. But I think it might be helpful. I have had relationships with people with addictions like I previously said. The part I left out is that I have worked with people with severe addictions for five years in supportive housing. So I have experienced this both personally and professionally and I have drawn the same conclusion. You need to distance yourself. I have seen people relapse after years and over and over. I have seen them rob old ladies, their family and friends to fuel their addiction. I've seen them give up their jobs and hobbies. Their addiction ALWAYS comes first. I have seen people develop seizures from having had so many overdoses. In five years, 20 people have died at my work. We just had someone die from an overdose Jan 2021. I have had someone almost die infront of me because of an overdose. Over the five years people have gotten beat up (with bats on one occasions), stabbed on multiple occasions, one guy got so high he tried to take his eyeball out with a boxcutter because he thought there was a bug in there. Violence is very common when people have addictions. The amount of family members I have seen be repeatedly used is heartbreaking. They try everything and nothing works. It's like an endless heartbreaking cycle. That's why I recommend distance. I have seen some success stories but it's like 1% of the people I work with. The problem with addiction is when you take away the substance you need to then work on the demons, a lot of people don't want to do that. That's a very personal thing and it's something that they need to do themselves.

Title	Set some boundaries and 💥BOOM💥 His head exploded.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	43
Comments	26
Date	April 12, 2021 8:03 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mpm2cm/set_some_boundaries_and_boom_his_head_exploded/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/set-some-boundaries-and-boom-his-head-exploded.1188730 https://theredarchive.com/post/1188730

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