Start calling it what it is when you can.

Don't use the buzz words of polyamorous, non monogamous, or open relationships. Start calling it by its name: cheating. He is a f boy.

As for bd$m stuff stop describing it as k1nky, rough, spicy or whatever. It's okay to have a really concerned look on your face or even look shocked when someone says they want to be ch0ked.if someone is telling you this then call it out and be like "that's violence and that sounds abusive. Start calling it what it is: abu$e.

If you hear your friend saying something like "he got frisky with me, started putting his hands all over me, and we were just sitting at the bar and I wasn't into it" again start calling it by the correct names: assault.

If you hear your friend saying he was essentially trying to get her to have sex with him, started begging her or saying come on, or even how guys will use that bs line of saying "we should see if we are sexually compatible, come on we both like each other so why not" again call it what it is: sexual coercion

If you hear you friend telling you that her ex keeps making new numbers, trying to show up at her door, or even trying to "catch her at work" start calling it what it is: stalking and harassment.

Even if you hear your friend saying some guy asked her to come over for drinks at his place especially when she doesn't know him or it is the very early stages you should be looking concerned and express that by calling out exactly what it seems like: sounds like he wants to coerce you into sex and use alcohol

If your friend says how he slept with her when she was unsure, drunk, etc, then call it out as rape.

Same with if someone is talking about how some male celebrities go after much younger women, with huge age gaps. Start calling it out as being predators and call it out as grooming.

Often times society as well as our own family members, coworkers, and even our friends downplay the seriousness of men's depravity. This happened all the time when I was at college, my friends and classmates would constantly be sugar coating their experiences with men, even when they were coercing her, harassing her, and even when they were assaulted.

My friend and I went into a crowded bar just after we turned 21, it was wall to wall people. People were walking past us and being crowded they couldn't help but bump into us or be brushing up. Some guys in passing though took advantage of the situation and were purposely grabbing and pinching womens butts as they walked passed. This happened to me three guys in a row and my friend as we were standing there. I started calling it out and got upset and my friend (a former friend now) giggled it off like he he they just go that, its a bar come on its crowded, they didn't mean to! This is the type of thing I am talking about. I was being groped and assaulted she was too this is an example of call it out by the proper terms.

By calling things out by the proper names we can help others realize how wrong they are. Many women are still brainwashed into think coercion is normal. Many women who were actually raped or assaulted do not even realize it. You don't have to be or stay friends with people especially if they are pickmes but if you hear someone at your girls night out or group you attend describing something you should call it out or you can go over to them like a concerned friend and be like what you described before was actually assault and that's serious and you know you can report that.

We need to start changing this narrative we have in our culture of downplaying everything and that needs to start now. Call it out.