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vmuzondi
[–][deleted] 129 points130 points131 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Yep. The more I treated myself, the more I felt that I could not date anyone that would treat me less. My girl friends and I had fabulous brunches and shopping dates, all platonic. We went to pretty “date spots” together and to the theater before the pandemic hit. Anyone you date should treat you better than your friends treat you and better than you treat yourself, otherwise you’re downgrading in your life.
[–]vmuzondi 43 points44 points45 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yep. Agree with all of this. I’ve started doing things like this too and now I don’t even care if a man offers something low effort. I don’t take it personally, and I don’t bother responding to him. I automatically forget he exists and keep doing my thing. I’m not dating now for obvious reasons, but when I do again, I know I won’t settle for anything.
[–]talklistentalkFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Amen to to all of this.
[–]mscristalconnors 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I love dates with my friends. I miss it 🥰
[–]tiavargaFDS Newbie 50 points51 points52 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yes! I realized that I really enjoyed (before the pandemic) going solo to dinner/art events/concerts, and traveling alone . With the pandemic, I’ve switched to picnics at a nearby lake, splurging on delivery from my favorite restaurants occasionally, and small day trips via car. I’m treating myself how I’d want a partner to treat me and it’s so nice. It makes it so much easier to turn down “date” offers like taking a walk, home “visits” (as if), coffee, etc.
[–]vmuzondi 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I love all of this! So glad you’re treating yourself Ike a queen. ❤️
[–]ShecommandFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
🥰🥰🥰🥰. I do the same!
[–]HottPinkSlugFDS Newbie 62 points63 points64 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
I was talking to my ex during quarantine, and he was saying how he was embarassed about cooling down after a run because he thought it looked like he was taking a walk alone. A whole grown man. 🙄🙄🙄
[–]WestAtmosphereFDS Newbie 45 points46 points47 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
.... taking a walk alone is embarrassing ???? Lol
[–]ShecommandFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Then I’m one big embarrassment 🤣.
[–]SearchLightsIncFDS Apprentice 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I keep going the whole 5 miles of embarrassment regularly..
[–]vmuzondi 49 points50 points51 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is how you know men are projecting when they say women need to be in relationships and are afraid of being alone.
[–]The_kilt_liftaFDS Newbie 26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Being that insecure must be exhausting
[–][deleted] 14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Jfc being that judgemental must be literal hell! Imagine being THAT dependant on the company of others just so you can keep up an appearance of being too popular to take a walk alone! On the flip side if he is that judgemental about himself what the hell does he think of others?
[–]HottPinkSlugFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You know whats funny? I was always confused why someone so closed off could be so into public displays of affection. Like, constant hand holding, cuddling, forehead kissing, rubbing my back. It's that. I never understood what that was all about until your post lol
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, I had to learn that if what they do, is not always what they do, then it's for show. It's real-life virtue signalling but there is not a single ounce of virtuosity. They say here "watch what they do, not their words" and I think that's the truest statement ever related to men.
[–]hugshipFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My exes are like this. None of them could ever stand to look "uncool" by being alone anywhere.
Luckily, my current BF is more secure... which not only is a a great quality in a partner, but also convenient when I'm running late for plans we make because of public transportation issues or getting out of work late or something. Never any guilt, just "Ok thanks for the heads up. I'll find a bar to grab a drink at while you make your way over. See you soon :)"
[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Gurlll I've been taking myself on dates for so long. Its great.
[–]Deadgirl1888 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I wish I would have figured this out a decade ago instead of paying for all the dates I went on with broke lvm who stayed broke the whole relationship and broke to this day.
[–]MiaNaimFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Aww sis, you live, you learn, you upgrade.
[–]oh_beach_pleaseFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Since I broke up with my NVM fiance - I have been out on a mummy-daughter gal's date night every single week. I have more spare money than I have ever had in my LIFE since I'm no longer "sharing the finances" with him. I think I can count on one hand the amount of dates I had with that asshole in 4 years. NO REGRETS!
[–]vmuzondi 23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I know what you mean by sharing finances. I lived with an ex a long time ago and he was the worst with money. He would spend it on alcohol and gaming and it gave me intense depression and anxiety. When we broke up suddenly all my problems were gone. I realized he was the problem and not me. I’m never sharing finances with a man unless he’s proven to me he is good with money and responsible.
[–]frodosdojoFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I can relate. When I was married, we were always broke, I always had to beg for extensions, shit would get cut off, repossessed. It was sad. Since I've been on my own, I pay all my bills on time, bought myself a house and take myself out. I told a friend I was buying myself something nice rather than wait on a man to get it for me. She said, I'm going to pray you find someone to get it for you. I told her not to curse me like that ! Lol. Why would I need a man to buy me nice things ?
[–]vmuzondi 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah waiting for a man is a bad idea because a majority of them come with huge headaches. I might be dramatic but I would rather die than rely on a man for my happiness lol.
[–]frodosdojoFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Our girls need to be taught that ! Waiting for someone to "complete" you is a setup. We need to love ourselves first.
[–]Aurora_BorealizFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I cannot wait until I can comfortably sit at the bar with a book again. Considering taking myself to the botanical gardens this weekend. I’m good company, what can I say.
[–][deleted] 21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
only paying attention to men who take you on dates and will help you create your lifestyle and immediately blocking+ignoring any man that hints they would do otherwise > arguing with men about it
[–]OrchidLionFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Preach! Actions>words
[–]notochordFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I took myself out for a candlelit dinner at home tonight and it was lovely!
[–]jayohday 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
People say it’s tough to be a single woman and I’m so many ways it is.
But I’ll be damned if I think my life is going to get less tough or less complicated by adding a husband and children, especially in this society and political climate.
[–]Nifteroni-and-CheeseFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also spend more time with your friends! Making effort to spend more time with other women than you do with any men is the best way to have a social life that doesn’t depend on dating.
[–]fim_de_semanaFDS Apprentice 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Every week I go on a restaurant, alone, and treat myself to a nice meal. Before I’d be too embarrassed for it. Thanks FDS!
[–]Tangled_Mind 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I did it one time. And dang. I loved it.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
As an introverted traveler, this has been the way for me. People make a big deal out of nothing, as if everyone in the movies will turn, point and laugh at them. Nobody cares, and if they do, we are showing a good example of prioritizing our own fun.
[–]EntireTadpoleFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I often go the movies by myself, and since I live in a big city, I see others at the theater by themselves.
[–]futuristicallyangryFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I started taking myself on dates to all the places I wanted to go with someone and that became the best thing to ever happen to me.
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[–][deleted] 129 points130 points131 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]vmuzondi 43 points44 points45 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]talklistentalkFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mscristalconnors 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tiavargaFDS Newbie 50 points51 points52 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]vmuzondi 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ShecommandFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HottPinkSlugFDS Newbie 62 points63 points64 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]WestAtmosphereFDS Newbie 45 points46 points47 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]ShecommandFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]SearchLightsIncFDS Apprentice 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]vmuzondi 49 points50 points51 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]The_kilt_liftaFDS Newbie 26 points27 points28 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 14 points15 points16 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]HottPinkSlugFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]hugshipFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Deadgirl1888 12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MiaNaimFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]oh_beach_pleaseFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]vmuzondi 23 points24 points25 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]frodosdojoFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]vmuzondi 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]frodosdojoFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Aurora_BorealizFDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]OrchidLionFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]notochordFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jayohday 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nifteroni-and-CheeseFDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fim_de_semanaFDS Apprentice 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Tangled_Mind 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]EntireTadpoleFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]futuristicallyangryFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link