The divorce forums are sobering...

LevelTurbulent · 2021-01-04T20:10:22+00:00

Vetting won’t always save you. You have to go in knowing it could go horrifically wrong and always be prepared to leave.

The scariest psychos will pass your vetting flawlessly and everyone you know will love them. That’s where I’m at, it’s a super fun place to be. I’m just thankful I’m ok financially through it.

tellmesomething11 · 2021-01-04T20:28:48+00:00

You have to be prepared to walk away. You have to believe in your value. And you have to understand that men will say anything. ANYTHING.

I divorced my ex about a year after I caught him cheating. To this day, he claims all he did was kiss her🙄 The messages I saw indicated that he was in love with her. It is those messages I remember whenever I think I made a mistake. Some people would tell me “damn, you threw away 15 years over a kiss?”

I didn’t throw anything away but the trash. It was all him. I do not forgive cheating period.

MadamLeFay · 2021-01-04T20:42:35+00:00

My ex-husband got all the friends and married the married woman he was cheating on me with. Everyone thinks he is wonderful because he started launching a successful smear campaign before I knew what was going on. I will never remarry.

letsberealforamoment · 2021-01-04T21:09:21+00:00

I never comment on the wisdom of becoming legally entangled with a man (marriage). Like any contract, there are upsides and downsides to it.

However, you must NEVER put yourself in the position of not being able to walk away when the marriage goes South. Always have your own job, your own money, your own family, your own friends. Don't rely on your husband for financial support, ever.

companyofwolves · 2021-01-05T00:33:03+00:00

Did men always cheat this much?

Yes, always. More, perhaps, because women used to have less recourse for divorce and they truly could get away with anything (adultery used to be an allowable offense for divorce but it was hard to prove as a woman in court).

There absolutely are men out there who don't cheat, but frankly... I'm of the opinion that the majority do and always have.

honeybeeroll · 2021-01-04T23:56:40+00:00

I know a few men in my life who aren't cheaters (like, my friends' fathers, my friends husband), but it seems they're in the minority. I think most men will cheat if given the opportunity, because they don't respect their gf/wife and are not scared of the consequences.

So there's that, but also, if you date men, if you marry a man, I think you need to be prepared for that worst to happen. Have mostly your own friends, have a good relationship with your family, have all your own money, make sure a car is in your name, and that the house is also in your name. I would say don't even have a joint account, but if you do, keep most of your money to yourself and expect to loose whatever of yours is in that joint account. Just protect yourself - even if the worst happened, even if you get divorced, at least you'll have your finances and your support group to get you through it.

sunologie · 2021-01-05T04:58:04+00:00

Yes men have always cheated this much, if not more in the past! In the past it was even expected of and normalized for men to have multiple mistresses and wives were expected to silently suck it up.

Title	The divorce forums are sobering...
Author	supremelyparanoid
Upvotes	129
Comments	26
Date	January 4, 2021 4:54 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kq1lvd/the_divorce_forums_are_sobering/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/the-divorce-forums-are-sobering.730049 https://theredarchive.com/post/730049

Comments