This is a hard but important lesson to learn.

janetheautomaton · 2020-12-27T10:58:06+00:00

If you just accept that most men think of women as objects, things start making a lot more sense. I desire ice cream quite often and sometimes even a lot, but I rarely want it enough to walk to the store if I'm not already there.

CloutZero · 2020-12-27T13:14:49+00:00

Yes! I can't count the amount of times I've struggled with this. No more though, thanks to FDS.

LVM complimenting me or telling me all the things he knows I want to hear DOES NOT mean he values me. It means his trying to get what he desires. That's literally all.

Men will do almost anything and they'll say anything to women to get what they want. They're shameless.

__kamikaze__ · 2020-12-27T14:07:24+00:00

Learned this recently — sex or physical intimacy DOES NOT equal to love or respect

grasshoppersparrow · 2020-12-27T16:01:11+00:00

I've said it before and I'll say it again. A man wanting to fuck you is not a compliment.

A man will stick his dick in a ketchup bottle. They fuck their own pillows and socks. They jack off to images of women who look 12. They fondle themselves to cartoon characters. You still think him wanting to fuck you is a compliment?

HaveNoIdeaWhatToPick · 2020-12-27T15:01:56+00:00

What tires me is how differently they talk about dating infront of other men. When women are around they always lie and pretend they care about more than sex, when the woman leaves they start to talk to their buds about wanting only to fuck, but If you point that out you are suddenly the asshole, not them. When their mask slips out of anger, they usually say that pussy is the only worth of a woman. Later they will again deny caring only about sex.

OutlandishnessTiny14 · 2020-12-27T14:01:12+00:00

Yep - took me years to learn this lesson. Being desired doesn’t mean you’ll be viewed, respected or treated as a human being and person with distinct traits, wants, needs, insecurities, and everything else. You are the harbinger of his (desired) traits in you and whatever other labels he puts on you like pin the donkey.

needsmoresilk · 2020-12-27T15:28:32+00:00

Too true! You can find this in work situations too.

At my current job, I had a male superior who everyone thought valued what I brought to the table. He invited me everywhere- conferences, senior leadership meetings, you name it, I was asked to join. He really didn’t care about my contributions, they were ultimately rejected by him, I just made him look good in front of other senior male leaders bc he had a sexy entourage (me). I went along with it bc I was financially unstable*. He later hit on me and “discarded” me when I didn’t respond the way he wanted. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

I’d been sexually assaulted at my previous job by a male superior who behaved similarly with me at first. He took me everywhere! CEO and head of state meetings. I was more naive then and thought he valued me as a person. Nope, I was just a young, attractive woman who made him look good.

I’m still dealing with PTSD from the sexual assault, but I’ve learned, perhaps later in life than I wish I had, so well. Men will pretend to value you and draw you in. They can desire your youth, looks, and body. But it’s only ever to the extent of what you can do for them.

*btw, I was fortunate enough to save 8 months of living expenses this year, which I now consider fuck you money. I will walk away from any job where I’m being used as an object.

GlitterMars · 2020-12-27T16:30:06+00:00

I've been brainwashed by society, those stupid magazines, music videos and everything that I need to be sexual and that's the best thing that I can be. From the age 12+ I grew up learning how to give the best blowjobs ever, how to please a man, how to be appealing to them, how to make a man stay, and so on. Useless, harmful stuff. Somehow I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one. I grew up reading about Madonna deepthroating the bottle and everyone admiring her for it, thinking she's so cool, read Cosmo with my friends, and the crazy sex advice in it, I watched TV and saw all the hypersexualized women getting all the admiration and love there is; I tried to watch porn and I felt bad because I never could get into it, at 17 my boyfriend told me I'm not good enough in bed because I'm not acting like the porn stars, and I could go on and on and on.

The worst thing is that it's a trap, once you sexualize yourself and become available you instantly lose their respect. The only solution is to be a HVW, meaning be accomplished, have a fulfilling life, because if your self esteem depends on men, you can only lose.

InayahDaneen · 2020-12-27T16:14:43+00:00

This is exactly right 💯 In my past pickmeisha phase, I used to think any male staring out of desire was proof of my self worth being high to me. My standards were so low before I came across SheRaSeven1 on YT and FDS on reddit.

yggiwtmiih · 2020-12-27T17:11:39+00:00

Yup. A man who you just met that wants to have sex with you is not a compliment, ladies, it's an insult --most men will fuck a McChicken. You're a whole human being and he better be treating you like it.

Example-Opposite · 2020-12-27T18:46:44+00:00

Just because someone says they love you and care about you doesn’t mean they do. It needs to be shown with actions. This applies to not only dating but every aspect of life.

queendorkus · 2020-12-27T15:01:02+00:00

Cognitivedecadence · 2020-12-27T11:26:00+00:00

Louder for the liberal feminists in the back!

Title	This is a hard but important lesson to learn.
Author	RainyBobbins
Upvotes	1418
Comments	24
Date	December 27, 2020 9:31 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kl0wap/this_is_a_hard_but_important_lesson_to_learn/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/this-is-a-hard-but-important-lesson-to-learn.411661 https://theredarchive.com/post/411661

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