Why do men expect you to be their therapist?

applestrudlee · 2019-12-15T17:23:38+00:00

You sound exactly like past-me. You said „I want to help people out” - this is the problem. Before you think I’m a monster, please hear me out first. While it’s generally a good thing to be helpful, the majority of people (not only men!) will take advantage of this. This is the society we live in nowadays. You have to learn to only give your attention and help to people who have proven to be good friends/good partner etc. I had to learn this the hard way - moved from a village to major capital city when I was just 16. I was really good-natured and only tried to see the best in people. I got used and taken advantage of BIG TIME. I was always there for everyone who needed me and I thought I had tons of friends. Turned out nobody really cared for me and only came to me when they needed something. It’s been years since that happened, but please, don’t make the same mistakes I did.

AyemHerself · 2019-12-15T18:07:47+00:00

I spent the weekend at a chef's conference by myself years back and decided to check out the pool one night. A guy approached me almost immediately and launched into a conversation where he started complaining about his ex and mother of his kids. I responded with a noncommittal "oh, that's too bad, sorry to hear that."

He then invited me up to his room for some "fun."

So my guess is that it's often a ruse to get you feeling sympathetic. You're then supposed to want to make him feel better.

jewdy09 · 2019-12-15T17:43:22+00:00

“Hold on, Friend. I’m going to stop you right there. I bill at $250 an hour and I don’t bill your insurance for you.”

Ka_Tetof99 · 2019-12-15T19:25:41+00:00

They externalize all their issues. All of them. They’re emotionally constipated and instead of facing inwards and doing any kind of self-reflection, they push it onto women to help them get there. It’s not just with emotions, either, it’s with everything. Externalize and blame women. When you notice the pattern, you can’t stop noticing it.

rftw2013 · 2019-12-15T18:20:40+00:00

Do. Not. Help. Men. They resent it, and then leave, no matter how good you are to them.

Think about it, ladies. Did you ever help a man, and then have him start or continue a romantic relationship with you? One where he treated you like a queen?

Men see needing help as weakness, and no man wants to be with a woman who helped him out. Yes, they may stay for awhile, and use you for food, sex, emotional support, or whatever else you are kind/stupid enough to offer, but men are opportunists. When they've gotten what they want, they will leave.

RadFriends · 2019-12-15T17:00:52+00:00

Men expect you to do everything for them.

1Here4Bach · 2019-12-15T17:22:19+00:00

I’m convinced men see all women as motherly. Nothing compares to a mother’s love. Men long for how their mom used to treat them when they were 6 and spend their whole lives trying to chase that feeling of all-consuming nurturing, emotional support and love without reciprocity. They end up projecting that role on other women.

Their mom use to hold them when they cried and listen to their problems so that’s the role they have assigned to all of womankind. Their mom would treat them like a prince and they wouldn’t have to do anything for her in return so that’s how they see all relationships with women—one-sided.

And let’s be honest, men aren’t as good as empathizing and giving emotionally support as women. They know they can’t go to their male friends for a shoulder to cry on because the only response they’ll get is, “Dammnnn, dude that sucks lol...”.

totallylikeothergals · 2019-12-15T18:47:08+00:00

Why? Because a therapist costs money and pickmeishas do it for free. Plus they also see the sex, so they won't have to pay for a prostitute either. 🤷‍♀️

Stop listening to a man's problems until he proved you that he's worth it. Also the past should not be a thing when he's working on a future with you. Don't give what you don't get, easy as that. You're not their savior lol

psychsense · 2019-12-16T00:15:53+00:00

Isn’t weird that they blame feminism/women for not hearing them out on their issues but we’re the ones who seem to be doing the most listening! Go complain to your dude friends because we’re over it.

TheHistoryMachine · 2019-12-15T20:06:27+00:00

Because of this: https://www.themarysue.com/emotional-labor-pdf/

2019-12-15T22:07:06+00:00

Entitlement. They feel they shouldn't have to pay for services like cooking, cleaning, childcare, therapy, and general life organising. They expect to find some woman who will do this for them in exchange for their flaccid porn sick little worms. Men have honestly forgotten their natural place and they need to be reminded that their dicks are not a prize for women. Dick is abundant and low value. A woman who will gestate and raise a man's offspring is immeasurably valuable to him from a biological standpoint.

But so long as women are brainwashed by lib "feminism" and act like a wife while being treated like a hooker, men will continue to act like entitled pigs and their egos will continue to grow.

letsberealforamoment · 2019-12-15T19:50:49+00:00

My exh is an alcoholic. I've read several professional opinions that the point at which the drinking becomes problematic....that is when the addict stops developing mentally and emotionally. So if the started the habit of drinking away their anxiety, heartbreak, stress etc at age 22.....and continue to do do at 42 years of age, they are, developmentally, still 22. 20 years of arrested development.

I think this happens to men in general. Once that mutated y chromosome kicks in and floods their bodies with poison (testoaterone), they become mentally ill and emotionally retarded until.....maybe age 35? Then the fog clears and they are still years behind women in mental and emotional development.

idiosyncraticg1 · 2019-12-15T17:23:37+00:00

Their parents probably didn’t show them enough attention and they can’t act vulnerable around their guy friends.

voidzbaby · 2019-12-15T17:38:36+00:00

Pretty much everyone I’ve dated.

To be honest, I never really minded to hear someone out and provide comfort/advice due to my nurturing nature. But the past dudes I’ve dated would use me as their therapist and then never care to hear me out about my feelings or problems. It was always about them. Even the hookups would word vomit their problems/life story to me and of course would be uninterested in anything I had to say lmao.

Thinking more about it, it’s probably because most of them are so emotionally repressed, and because of their mothers. Which = most of them don’t know how to be mutually nurturing/caring/supportive, and most of them are used to being taken care of without returning it (mother relationship effect + the way society is ran effect.)

Title	Why do men expect you to be their therapist?
Author	applestrudlee
Upvotes	57
Comments	35
Date	December 15, 2019 4:58 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/eb1b6f/why_do_men_expect_you_to_be_their_therapist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-do-men-expect-you-to-be-their-therapist.686896 https://theredarchive.com/post/686896

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