So the most common complaint about FDS is that we hate all men, think they're low value, want to use them for money and maybe sex, blah blah blah. Right?

Yet if you spend more than 2 minutes actually reading the handbook, and actually use your reading comprehension skills, it becomes clear that FDS is a guide for dating a certain kind of man. The elusive HVM: a man with a number of qualities that go beyond what's in his wallet, yet I won't list them here because anyone who can read can find that information in the handbook.

Sure, there are complaints about certain men here. Cheaters, abusers, time wasters, porn addicts, fuckboys. It might seem like a long list, but these qualities often overlap.

If you think about it, a complaint that we hate "ALL men" is an admission that you assume all men share the above qualities. And how often do we hear "ALL men need porn! ALL men need to stare at and fuck other women! It's in my biology! We have sexual urges and no means of controlling them!"

And when it comes to the qualities associated with HVM, you'll often hear that these are unicorns that don't exist. Apparently no man is capable of being a decent person who cares about their romantic partner.

So I gotta ask, why do FDS critics hate men so much? Why do they assume every man in existence is a shambling Neanderthal-adjacent whose only brain is found below the belt? Why do they think no man is capable of taking care of themselves without a woman's guidance, and that we must "build" them into decent humans? Why do they assume all men are inherently violent and hateful?

It's another application of "the soft bigotry of low expectations." These critics of our ideas on dating are operating on the assumption that men are incapable of aspiring to a life beyond the basement. They expect us women to lift them up and do what they won't do for themselves, and call it "equality."

The FDS view of men is that most are capable, but they choose otherwise. It isn't sexist to expect your partner to be at your own level. Critics paint the picture of FDS users being unambitious, demanding slobs to justify their own lack of ambition and their opinion of other men. I've spoken - really spoken - with enough women in this group to know that it's a gross underestimation of our abilities. You ladies are wonderful. I can't say the same for the men who rage against us, but maybe they'll get the help they need and overcome their issues in time.