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Gender-based subs are coming under fire in r/againsthatesubs but it doesn’t mean we are next. Keep it classy! And enjoy some of the rad-fem propagandizing subs being called out. Links in free text

Phollie

April 19, 2020
31 upvotes
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates

r/femaledatingstrategy

r/Whereareallthegoodmen

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Post Information
Title Gender-based subs are coming under fire in r/againsthatesubs but it doesn’t mean we are next. Keep it classy! And enjoy some of the rad-fem propagandizing subs being called out. Links in free text
Author

Phollie

Upvotes 31
Comments 108
Date April 19, 2020 10:30 AM UTC
(6 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/g45j8u/genderbased_subs_are_coming_under_fire_in/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/gender-based-subs-are-coming-under-fire-in.1063673
https://theredarchive.com/post/1063673
Top posts by Phollie

Statutory Rape: Forcing a boy to pay child support to his rapist’s baby is as wrong as denying women the right to an abortion when raped and/or granting child rights visitation to the woman’s rapist.

754 upvotes
March 29, 2020
/r/MensRights

The Wholesale Rape and Drugging of Boys in Gender Segregated Islamic Nations

98 upvotes
March 29, 2020
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Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Support Resources

45 upvotes
January 22, 2020
/r/MensRights

Rape & Abuse of Boys By US allies in Afghanistan War on Terror is Commonplace

36 upvotes
March 29, 2020
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Male Sexual Slavery an Open Secret in Thailand

13 upvotes
March 29, 2020
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Would you sterilize your MRDD son?

10 upvotes
March 29, 2020
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Trans Men Face Discrimination from Both Sides

3 upvotes
March 29, 2020
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When “Corrective Rape” is Imported for Christian/Westernized Countries to the Rest of the World

3 upvotes
March 29, 2020
/r/MensRights

Comments

[–]functious 36 points37 points38 points 6 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

Notice however that their only criticisms of FDS are due to the fact that they attack other women (i.e. liberal feminists and 'pickmeishas') and trans people. They actually refer to their main misandrist message as 'refreshing' and 'empowering'.

[–]C0dey 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

And that's not getting into the mouth breathers claiming the women on there are just women hating men.

[–]functious 9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, there's a few people on there claiming that and I've seen people saying it on other subs too. It's the logical endpoint of their braindead 'man=bad, woman=good' ideology.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It's because much of reddit is sexist towards women in an ass backwards sort of way.

They honestly believe that anytime a woman is being shitty on reddit that it must be some psyop conjured up by incel men.

They're so sexist that they cannot accept the fact that women can be shitty too.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

AHS hates men, so of course they see nothing wrong with the antimale rhetoric in those subs.

AHS is garbage and shouldn't be supported, it's just full of losers with an axe to grind.

[–]czerdec 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

AHS hates men, so of course they see nothing wrong with the antimale rhetoric in those subs.

AHS is garbage and shouldn't be supported, it's just full of losers with an axe to grind.

The enemy of my enemy...

I agree that AHS are definitely on the wrong side of the fight on the matter of free expression. Indeed, you could argue that their pro-censorship stance is inherently more harmful than even the most evil feminist ideology.

[+]Stock_Elevator2 points 6 years ago [recovered] (15 children) | Copy Link

Lmao. If I had a dollar if every feminist cried "ThAT'S nOT rEAl FeMiNIsM," when another feminist did something they didn't like, I'd have enough money to start a men's shelter.

[–]Egalitarianwhistle 11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Sadly you would still be shut down by protests, defamation, and bomb threats.

[–]Phollie[S] 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s actually terribly depressing...

[–]Ciceros_Assassin -5 points-4 points-3 points 6 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

Wow it's almost like feminism is a broad umbrella of loosely-affiliated beliefs and policy positions and not an easily characterized monolith

[–]Threwaway42 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow it's almost like feminism is a broad umbrella of loosely-affiliated beliefs and policy positions and not an easily characterized monolith

With this logic you would rarely be able to gate keep feminism as 'not real' if you recognize the above

[–]5th_Law_of_Robotics 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

They're very diverse. They have the manhaters and the misandrists and the female supremacists and....

[–]Forgetaboutthelonely 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

yeah, and that umbrella is inverted into a cone to let the rain in because the wire arms(played by the part of influential feminists and doctrines) are all corrupt

[–]Ciceros_Assassin 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That is a uh very specific mental image

[–]czerdec 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

This is the kind of dishonest snark that makes me ask why you are even allowed to post here when I have never once seen you engage in good faith with anyone here.

[–]Ciceros_Assassin 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I'm here in good faith right now! Me disagreeing with pretty much everybody doesn't mean I'm not engaging in good faith.

[–]czerdec 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I'm here in good faith right now! Me disagreeing with pretty much everybody doesn't mean I'm not engaging in good faith.

I can demonstrate your bad faith very quickly, if you were to respond truthfully to a series of questions.

For example:

feminism is a broad umbrella of loosely-affiliated beliefs and policy positions

This implies that some of the ideas under that umbrella will be of lower quality, and may indeed be outright wrong or misconceived.

Yet you run a subreddit where it's an automatic ban to criticize ANY of the ideas under that umbrella.

Where am I supposed to be finding good faith in that approach?

[–]Ciceros_Assassin -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Is it good-faith to simply lie, as you're doing? It's not against the rules to criticize specific feminist-oriented positions or policies, in fact we do it a lot! Heck, it's in our sidebar! We've had conversations disagreeing with the Duluth Model, white liberal feminism, and TERFism, just to name a few!

[–]czerdec 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I didn't lie: you run the subreddit mensleft and you promise to ban anybody who mentions feminism.

I insist that you retract the slur that I lied: my statement was factually accurate, you spoke inaccurately when you denied it and you're morally obligated to admit those facts.

Okay, I am planning to do a weekly uncensored thread on menslib where there's total freedom to criticize or find fault with intersectional feminism.

Will you interfere with my criticism of intersectional feminism on your subreddit?

[–]Ciceros_Assassin -3 points-2 points-1 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Dude nobody is even subscribed to that subreddit and the sidebar is a joke. Christ Almighty please get a life.

[–]AskingToFeminists 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I notice you failed to reply to his proposal

Okay, I am planning to do a weekly uncensored thread on menslib where there's total freedom to criticize or find fault with intersectional feminism.

Will you interfere with my criticism of intersectional feminism on your subreddit?

[–]5th_Law_of_Robotics 34 points35 points36 points 6 years ago (39 children) | Copy Link

AHS is itself a hate sub.

I was banned for linking to a black nationalist sub discussing murdering all police.

They clearly have an agenda. If they decide to not like us... oh no! I really don't care.

[–]Phollie[S] 7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

Interesting perspective.

[–]Ciceros_Assassin -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

It's so interesting, I love this subreddit and it's perspectives.

[–]5th_Law_of_Robotics 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I suspect this is an unusual sub to you since it allows discussion and isn't based on the immutable conclusion that women have it worse always.

Also this sub wouldn't ban a man for being upset about being raped...

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

It is interesting right? People can disagree and even get downvoted without immediately being banned for wrong think.

[–]Ciceros_Assassin 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow

[–]czerdec 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

it's perspectives

Learn how to use an apostrophe if you're going to LARP as a lawyer.

[–]Ciceros_Assassin 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You got me their

[–]Phollie[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I feel like I’m missing something because you have been downvoted for saying something positive about this sub.

[–]AskingToFeminists 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You missed the invisible /s at the end of the post that all people familiar with him know is present.

[–]Phollie[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Ahhh ok lol thanks

[–]Ciceros_Assassin -5 points-4 points-3 points 6 years ago (27 children) | Copy Link

Love too be in a left wing subreddit and see people caping for the fucking cops lmfao

[–]Forgetaboutthelonely 7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

"you're not ideologically pure enough for the left because you're not cool with murdering people" - /u/Ciceros_Assassin

[–]Ciceros_Assassin 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

"I'm left wing!" - /u/Forgetaboutthelonely

[–]Forgetaboutthelonely 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

I'm sorry that I'm not cool with murdering innocent people who are just doing their job.

[–]Ciceros_Assassin 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

That's fair! Let's say we can meet halfway: a complete dismantling of the current US law enforcement and carceral superstructure, and termination of employment of every single person involved with it with a highly stringent conditional reemployment after extensive retraining.

[–]czerdec 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

Those convicts will need to live somewhere after we close all the prisons. How many of them will you permit to shelter in your house?

[–]Ciceros_Assassin 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I'll take as many nonviolent drug offenders as my apartment can fit.

[–]czerdec 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

They're going to be the most in-demand group. Also, who do you trust when you are told that your new guest is non-violent? What if it's a guy who acts suspiciously like a hitman but was only convicted for carrying some kilos?

Will you sleep like a baby?

[–]Ciceros_Assassin -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

This is quite the little adventure going on in your mind palace huh

[–]czerdec3 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I notice you are no longer claiming to welcome convicts into your home.

[–]Ciceros_Assassin0 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I mostly just think it's funny that the only option you can think of other than the prison-industrial complex is for me to personally house violent convicts in my home. Maybe do some reading on rehabilitative justice?

[–]SonnBaz2 points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Rehabilitative justice,as awesome as it is only works so much.Not everyone will reform What about those folks eh?

[–]lorarc 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Complete dismantling is a dream. Take a look at post-communist states that had to deal with corrupt police force, you can't simply fire everyone, that's not possible.

[–]czerdec 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Can you explain why not despising law enforcement in 2020 makes you not left-wing?

[–]Ciceros_Assassin 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You need me to explain why it isn't left-wing to support and promote capital's enforcement arm? Is that what your question is.

[–]czerdec 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You need me to explain why it isn't left-wing to support and promote capital's enforcement arm? Is that what your question is.

The overwhelming majority of the world's left-leaning voters think that describing regular police as "capital's enforcement arm" is ridiculous.

[–]czerdec 7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

see people caping for the fucking cops

So to be left wing, you need to have a visceral blanket antipathy to law enforcement?

Why are you here? That stance is so ridiculous that you're essentially a waste of everyone's time?

Bernie Sanders never proposed eliminating the police force.

[–]Ciceros_Assassin 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

Bernie Sanders is a social democrat. He's only "left-wing" in the context of America's deeply reactionary political framework.

[–]czerdec 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

Yet no matter where you go in the democratic world, and how left-wing the place happens to be, support for anti-police policies is always below 5%

If your measurement of leftism requires everyone to oppose the existence of police, there's barely a few million "true" leftists on earth.

That's why purity spirals are terrible: at the end the individual has ridiculous views.

[–]Ciceros_Assassin -3 points-2 points-1 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

I'm sorry that you definitionally aren't "left-wing" if you support the current police state and that it makes you upset to be just now learning this.

[–]czerdec 7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

I'm sorry that you definitionally aren't "left-wing" if you support the current police state and that it makes you upset to be just now learning this

That's not thinking, that's a purity spiral.

Your attempt at sleight of hand is embarrassing. I expressed the point of view that the existence of police forces in the world is not in itself a problem, and you dishonestly claimed that that equates to an endorsement of a particular "police state". That's self-evident in its falsity.

[+]Ciceros_Assassin -10 points-9 points-8 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Cops are class traitors and tools of capital. This is leftism 101 stuff, comrade.

[–]czerdec 9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This is leftism 101 stuff, comrade.

Were the NKVD the tools of capital?

Real leftists have a word for the type of thinking you have: Utopianism.

Unfortunately Utopia means "a place that doesn't exist". Leftism is not helped by people who think that a magic handwave can cause deep problems to vanish.

Only some of mankind's problems are amenable to change in political systems and you appear to be confused as to which is which.

[–]SonnBaz 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I see your bans over.How was it like tasting your own medicine?(Instead you actually deserved it because you were trolling while your victims merely had the audacity to challenge your dogma).

[–]Ciceros_Assassin -2 points-1 points0 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

"Victims" lmao

[–]avistel 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh, by the way, if I actually were alt-right, I'd just let you keep spewing these liquid-helium-temperature takes to your heart's content without interruption.

Trust me, there's no better propaganda against an ideology than it's exponents being absolute unironic brainlets. Honestly, I don't even get why people like Ben Shapiro make shit up when they could just point to people like you being astronomically stupid and unsympathetic in a completely authentic way.

[–]avistel 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

mmm, smells like malding commie dipshit up in here

[–]5th_Law_of_Robotics 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

K

[+]sedawkgrep1 points 6 years ago [recovered] (10 children) | Copy Link

Dude - can we make this more of a pro-men sub without the tearing down of anything/anyone?

I just joined because I thought this sub might be above the hate/ridicule/etc. garbage that other subs seem to thrive on. I don't care what drama is happening in other subs. At all.

[–]peanutbutterjams 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Agreed. I appreciate that when you feel demonized you may want to point out that other people are doing similar things but really the best option is just to be positive and focus on presenting well-considered arguments in favour of your position. Let the rest take care of itself.

[–]spudmixMachine Rights Activist 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I used to hope this sub could, too. I've mostly given up. Nobody can put down their "righteous" anger for long enough to think about anything else - the comments in this thread are more than evidence enough.

[–]Forgetaboutthelonely 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

what changes would you like to see?

[+]sedawkgrep1 points 6 years ago* [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link

Seriously?

How about enforcing rules 1, 2, 6, and 8.

Also having a low or zero tolerance for low-grade and inflammatory posts. The main page right now has the following stories/links which are not men-positive but actually women/feminism/social-negative :

  • Covid Politico image
  • Neither gender is oppressed
  • 1992 TV interview
  • I'm a girl what's your superpower
  • Amber Heard / image
  • Gynocentrism / war
  • This thread
  • TERFs / transgenders
  • Pinkpill feminist brigaders
  • trans == men equality image
  • female prison sentencing vs. men
  • behind the masks of hate (while interesting is entirely about women in hate groups, so not really about men)

This constitutes about half of what I scrolled through. Each of these is either inflammatory, irrelevant, low-effort, or redundant in the sense of "yeah we know already".

What these do, is stoke the anger without providing any means of alleviation. How do you come to terms with an image of statistics? How do you further the men's cause by pointing fingers are pinkpillers?

There's a very low SNR in this sub. And I ain't got time for hate.

[–]Forgetaboutthelonely 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Ok. Where have these things not been enforced? I need specific examples here because I'm not sure if things slipped by me or what didn't break the rules.

going through the current posts. I don't see this politico image.

The "neither gender is oppressed" post would fall under the low effort rules I suggested that were effectively shot down. But I don't see it breaking any other rules. It's showing how men are affected by things in a different way than women. and bringing into the frame that they still need help.

The tv interview is old. But I again don't see any issues. Though I haven't watched it. I do think a rule asking to summarize videos should be put in place. but that's just me.

the "i'm a girl" post is a good example and discussion of double standards in even the simplest of marketing. I think men and young boys should similarly have encouragement at a young age. but I doubt that such a slogan directed at boys would be taken so lightly as the girl one. Hell I just googled "I'm a boy, what's your superpower" and there's nothing. but there's still a bunch of female centric slogans that do pop up. I think it's honestly terrible that it seems young boys aren't welcome having pride in their gender or masculinity.

The amber heard post would also go under the low effort rules I proposed. but I do think the conversation is relevant simply due to the fact of how it's been received. It's a prime example of how men frequently slip through the cracks due to feminist lobbying regarding domestic abuse.

The gynocentrism post would also go against the low effort rule I suggested. But again I think a well written conversation would be warranted.

I'm honestly not a fan of posts like this one. and once again it would fall under my suggested low effort rule. But I do think conversation is warranted and on topic. It just needs to be of better quality

The terf post I see I think is actually pretty decent in quality. I do think there's a lot of blatant misandry within feminism and many feminists that blatantly refuse to acknowledge it. instead relying on mislabeling the issue transphobia when it's clear that the hatred is directed purely at the masculine.

I don't see the trans == men image. so I can't comment on it.

I also don't see the prison sentencing. but I do believe it is a mens issue worth discussing.

I do see the mask of hate. And I do agree with you on this one. it's interesting, but not particularly about men. Though I can see it becoming a very decent discussion if we talked about how to keep women away from these hate groups. And the psychology of how they become invested.

What these do, is stoke the anger without providing any means of alleviation. How do you come to terms with an image of statistics? How do you further the men's cause by pointing fingers are pinkpillers?

I agree that image posts need at least a paragraph of text for discussion. I offered this as a rule so that we could effectively moderate and keep low effort rage bait from becoming an issue. This was shot down. but I encourage you to message /u/serpentineeyelash or the mods in general if you think a change is warranted.

But! where we may disagree. I do think it's reasonable to point out issues within feminism.

Misandrists within the movement being given power and influence has actively harmed men and will continue to do so if left unchecked.

[+]sedawkgrep1 points 6 years ago* [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

Misandrists within the movement being given power and influence has actively harmed men and will continue to do so if left unchecked.

Exactly what "checking" do you think is happening here? Simply pointing out misandry/misandrists is like saying the sky is blue. Yeah...so? Do you really think that these examples are news to anyone? Add new, relevant items to a sticky post on that subject if you want to keep a tally. Otherwise just.let.it.go.

At the end of the day, about 80% of what is posted here is wasted time and bandwidth. There are some good articles, resources, and discussions, but there's so much other unhelpful noise that I am unwilling to sift through it and the adjoining hostility posts to find it.

[–]Forgetaboutthelonely 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Exactly what "checking" do you think is happening here? Simply pointing out misandry/misandrists is like saying the sky is blue. Yeah...so? Do you really think that these examples are news to anyone in this sub? Add new, relevant items to a sticky post on that subject if you want to keep a tally. Otherwise just.let.it.go.

I've actually seen several times in this sub discussions in which one party learned something about feminist misandry. be it disadvantages men face that are swept under a rug. or stats that are incorrect.

At the end of the day, about 80% of what is posted here is wasted time and bandwidth. There are some good articles, resources, and discussions, but there's so much other unhelpful noise that I am unwilling to sift through it and the adjoining hostility posts to find it.

So. by what margins are we judging this? What makes it noise? the low effort? the bringing awareness to misandry (which I think is relevant) or the hostility? And what do you mean by hostility? Because I honestly feel like people being upset by blatant unchallenged misandry is reasonable.

See my point above about the sky being blue. If someone has a worthwhile issue and wants to speak to that from a space of men's needs and its inequities, then that's at least something. But the "woe is man, look at the women doing X/Y/Z" does zero to advance understanding.

See. I would agree that outrage porn is kind of ridiculous. That's why I was aiming for it under a low effort rule. I don't want this sub to just become somewhere like /r/pussypassdenied

BUT. When there's a discussion about prominent events like amber heard. Not everybody who comes here is aware of them.

[+]sedawkgrep1 points 6 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Because I honestly feel like people being upset by blatant unchallenged misandry is reasonable.

There are a couple ways one can react - blame outward and hate the external, and stay focused on that, or turn inward and accept (or ignore) what's going on and just ask how can you better yourself and those you know.

Not every post and reply is the former, but it predominantly is.

There's a grain of truth to the notion of "man up", and it's contained in the serenity prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

I'm not religious but this is really a mature way of dealing with the world and your place within it. And to me, reflecting back to everyone those things which you cannot change is antithetical to the men's cause. You cannot change the mind of Amber Heard any more than you can change the content of the image on imgur.com. You can change the minds of those you interact with, especially personally. I have low confidence in minds being changed on reddit; it takes an already open mind. Regarding Amber Heard, et al., the only useful step IMO is to chalk it up to the list and move on.

Perhaps young men think they can change the world in a single stroke. Not gonna happen. Change starts within and reverberates out. That's always how positive things go.

As I write this some things are coming clear for me. Young people need to go through a period of yelling at the inequities of the world. It's a REALLY good thing in my opinion. But at some point that absorption of the external, and internal energy generated therein, needs to be utilized for something good and positive. This is where I see the failings in things like this and worry about my brothers faltering. No one wants to be an incel. But if one cannot move past the endless negative external stimulus and into one of of acceptance, (NOT tolerance!!) that energy just becomes cancerous and can metastasize.

So as an observer, I sit and watch what seems like an endless echo-chamber of hate and finger pointing, and wonder what good will come of that. I feel the need to help lift men out of that pit, so they can be self-loving, self-reliant, self-determining, self-confident, etc. I'm on this journey myself and wish I had that role model to help me; but I'm old enough and wise enough to lend a hand to others and know it will at least not be a harmful one. But it's taken a long time to get there.

I appreciate this dialog. Thank you.

[–]Forgetaboutthelonely 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Because I honestly feel like people being upset by blatant unchallenged misandry is reasonable.

There are a couple ways one can react - blame outward and hate the external, and stay focused on that, or turn inward and accept (or ignore) what's going on and just ask how can you better yourself and those you know.

campaigning for awareness can make change happen. It's worked before and it can work again.

Not every post and reply is the former, but it predominantly is.

There's a grain of truth to the notion of "man up", and it's contained in the serenity prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

I'm not religious but this is really a mature way of dealing with the world and your place within it. And to me, reflecting back to everyone those things which you cannot change is antithetical to the men's cause. You cannot change the mind of Amber Heard any more than you can change the content of the image on imgur.com. You can change the minds of those you interact with, especially personally. I have low confidence in minds being changed on reddit; it takes an already open mind. Regarding Amber Heard, et al., the only useful step IMO is to chalk it up to the list and move on.

the aim isn't to change the mind of amber heard. it's to make people aware of what's going on so they can change their minds about it. it's spreading awareness. I've seen minds changed online. it can happen. but it takes a calm polite discussion.

Perhaps young men think they can change the world in a single stroke. Not gonna happen. Change starts within and reverberates out. That's always how positive things go.

by bringing awareness to issues like the difference in how men are treated in domestic violence cases. it changes the way people see them. and has the power to change the way we deal with them.

As I write this some things are coming clear for me. Young people need to go through a period of yelling at the inequities of the world. It's a REALLY good thing in my opinion. But at some point that absorption of the external, and internal energy generated therein, needs to be utilized for something good and positive. This is where I see the failings in things like this and worry about my brothers faltering. No one wants to be an incel. But if one cannot move past the endless negative external stimulus and into one of of acceptance, (NOT tolerance!!) that energy just becomes cancerous and can metastasize.

so if somebody is being actively hurt or mistreated you would expect them to just let it happen instead of rallying to make change?

So as an observer, I sit and watch what seems like an endless echo-chamber of hate and finger pointing, and wonder what good will come of that. I feel the need to help lift men out of that pit, so they can be self-loving, self-reliant, self-determining, self-confident, etc. I'm on this journey myself and wish I had that role model to help me; but I'm old enough and wise enough to lend a hand to others and know it will at least not be a harmful one. But it's taken a long time to get there.

what you see as endless hate and finger pointing. I see as people passionately stating "this isn't fair" and trying to raise awareness so they can make a change.

[–]InitiatePenguin 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

On one hand, I'm glad to see that this sort of comment is at least positive around these parts these days. On the other hand it pales in comparison to the overwhelming sentiment of the users here.

I've tried this rallying cry before

No. Unless you're intent is for this to be a drama-making hit piece on another sub rather than engaging with the actual merits of a men's issue.

Your fight will be an uphill battle here.

[–]Strikester101 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (32 children) | Copy Link

We really need to clean up this sub, though.

There's a lot of complaint posts about feminism.

[–]Phollie[S] 17 points18 points19 points 6 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, we should try to stick to problem solving and facts rather than the “he-said/she-said” stuff from radicals. It’s possible to fight radical ideology without losing your own self respect lol.

[–]Strikester101 10 points11 points12 points 6 years ago (25 children) | Copy Link

I have lots of positives to say about feminism AND lots of negatives to say about feminists. That aside, it gets grating to hear rants about feminism.

I'm just more concerned on issues like whether we can close the gender disparity in education and STEM. I sometimes fret in this issue because my mind likes to portray the worst-case scenario; that girls outnumbering and out-performing boys is natural in true gender equality. I don't want either gender to be discouraged and discriminated.

One of my ideas is this: https://www.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/g4699y/suggestion_a_pinned_post_where_we_can_elucidate/

[–]functious 15 points16 points17 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

I think it's really pointless to draw a distinction between 'feminists' and 'feminism'. It just seems like an example of the no true Scotsman fallacy where you label the disagreeable things feminists do and say as 'not true feminism'. Misandrist hatemongering has been a component of feminist thought for a long time.

[+]adlerchen1 points 6 years ago* [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link

It's like trying to disavow Andrea Dworkin's writings without disavowing Andrea Dworkin.

[–]heimdahl81 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

You can complain about bad Christians without thinking all Christianity is bad, can't you?

[+]Stock_Elevator1 points 6 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

You can, but it would also be silly to say that bad sects of Christianity are not actually Christian.

[–]czerdec 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Bingo!

[–]functious 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You're missing the point. He's not saying that all feminism is bad, he's saying that the disagreeable aspects of feminism are still feminism.

[–]AskingToFeminists 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

And you can recognize good scientologists while recognizing scientology is a very harmful thing.

[–]PM_ME_UR_1080TI 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Do you think it would be better if there was like a 'daily thread' for this type of stuff?

[–]magus678 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

I sometimes fret in this issue because my mind likes to portray the worst-case scenario; that girls outnumbering and out-performing boys is natural in true gender equality

The variability hypothesis would suggest that this is the natural distribution. Women occupy more of the mean, while men occupy the extremes.

In an "equal" scenario, you would probably always seen more women in college, but the upper echelon will be overwhelmingly male. Which is much of what you see now.

[–]SchalaZeal01 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

I can't fathom how many mentally-challenged people you'd need to drag the male average so low that they represent only 40% of college goers. Are sub-70 IQ men such a high amount?

Either men are discouraged from college in the West (including by being graded worse for similar work), or they got other options.

It's kinda weird that college is assumed to be 'needed' to prove you're intelligent and/or educated, for everyone, including non-intellectuals. Especially when its a pipeline of work-formation, rather than a place to learn original and critical thinking.

[–]magus678 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Well, just glancing at the first google result for IQ distribution, average and sub average alone account for ~70% of the population. Men will make up a disproportionate amount of this cohort.

Add to this a competitive aspect to college admissions and it could further drive this proportion out. Then there's affirmative action policies, and the general tendency of boys to have lower levels of conscientiousness in general.

Its a cocktail of factors, certainly. But the rule of thumb seems to hold true.

Or, as I mentioned elsewhere, it is completely wrong. I'm not advocating that we simply take it as gospel and stop trying. But it would be equally wrong to presume that "equality" as most measure it is naturally possible. It may not be.

If we took a pygmy infant and an infant from a long line of nobel prize scientists and raise them together, there will still be stark differences in g-factor intelligence. Biology plays its part. The only real conversation is how much.

[+]lorarc1 points 6 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

If we were to assume that the people with highest IQ go to college than looking at college enrolment rate in USA (about 40%) it doesn't really look that unplausible. It would mean that 48% of women and 32% of men go to college, that isn't really that extreme.

And yes, it's probably about other options.

[–]AskingToFeminists 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

It would really depend on where you place the bar for "highest IQ". The variability hypothesis means that you have the curve for men flatter than the curve for women. At some point, the two curves intersect.

If you place the bar after this intersection point, then necessarily you should expect more men than women in, so...

[–]lorarc 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Hmm, well okay, with 48% of women in college I'd expect about the similar number of men, I'm not sure where I was going with that comment, if anything it should be rather more men than women.

[–]Strikester101 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Out of courtesyand objectivity, how strong is tge variability hypothesis?

Asking because, IIRC, a study on home-schooled children have shown boys and girls performing equally well.

[–]magus678 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The citations are in the article. I'm not sure what you'd want me to add to it.

I mean there are a million possible confounding factors; the school system is non-optimal for boys, and even agreeing on what "success" looks like is its own conversation. The entire "things vs people" dynamic is obviously a big elephant in that.

But anecdotally it seems to hold true in the general sense of nature rolling the dice with xy chromosomes more than xx, whether you are looking at prison populations or Nobel prize winners. After all, a single exceptional man can create many children, while a woman cannot. Male disposability as a social practice is rooted in biology.

Or, it could all be wrong. But as of the moment it seems to be a reasonable guideline. There is some point where it must be questioned whether "equality" as most define it is even truly possible.

[–]thereslcjg2000left-wing male advocate 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

I have lots of positives to say about feminism AND lots of negatives to say about feminists.

Out of curiosity, what sorts of positives?

[+]sedawkgrep2 points 6 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link

Dude really? Like you can’t think of one thing that feminism has done that’s a net positive to the world through the enablement of women?

Google it. Feminism, when it comes to women’s equality has done a LOT of good things.

Just so we’re all clear - I would prefer the term feminism to stay solely on women’s rights and causes. We have our own and I don’t want that term diluting or distorting that, nor should woman want it either.

[–]peanutbutterjams 11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I would prefer the term feminism to stay solely on women’s rights and causes

Me too. I recently had a comment deleted from /r/MensLib (no surprise) when I objected to someone saying that the world needs feminism because they want a "culture in which we treat each other like human beings with amazing potential and possible growth in any direction."

As in, the only to attain that culture is through feminism. It was pretty depressing to see a universal human desire inextricably tied with feminism. I pointed out that this was more properly called "humanism", was heavily downvoted and the comment chain was deleted.

Feminism as a subset of humanism and that acts to advocate for women and helps people understand how gender norms and expectations uniquely affect women? Sure. That's what I want from male advocacy. Mutual understanding.

But feminism as a replacement term for humanism? No. Besides the toxicity currently present in the movement and ideology, the word itself is gender-biased and inappropriate to use in that context.

[–]thereslcjg2000left-wing male advocate 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Good point. You’re right, feminism has done plenty of good things for women. That said, I’d argue a lot of good things the movement have done end up having a net harm on society. Not all, to be fair, but a lot.

[+]Stock_Elevator1 points 6 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

Historically it has had positives, but there isn't really a place for the movement in the modern world.

[+]sedawkgrep1 points 6 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

I disagree completely.

As we reckon now and in the future with both male and female issues, the advocates for each side need to be aware and vigilant. It's going to be a LONG time before there is no such thing - if ever.

[–]Strikester101 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Well, I guess the obvious is improving the position of women, as /u/sedawkgrep. The movement also has potential to improve men's position as well (and that's the part where it all goes downhill because of feminists).

As an example, "masculine" occupations like firefighting are often ignored as a positive aspect of men, where they overwhemingly focus on how their sexism is preventing access for women, especially the part where depicting them as masculine is alienating. However, they tend to gender violence as male because "it's being frank or otherwise, you are part of the problem". It's like they completely forgot what they were fighting against.

You may also be familiar with "But who are the cause of ALL these issues? MEN!". I have a personal ire with this because of how hypocritical it is. To elaborate, feminists aren't as supportive of women as they claim to be; they priortised white and upper-class women over working WOC (who had to start their own movement because of it) in the past, the "lesbian separatism" caused a lot of problems for LGBT (and have portrayed lesbians as nothing more than "man-hating women who believes in gender supremacy"). Now, there are trans-women who have to deal with their shitty "It's for women's protection" attitude (ironically, some of it stems from misandry, which they heavily downplayed the seriousness).

[–]AskingToFeminists 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I have lots of positives to say about feminism AND lots of negatives to say about feminists.

You see, to me, it's rather the opposite. Feminism is a hate ideology. It is baked in since thr get go, with the declaration of sentiment claiming in a historical revisionist way that "the history of mankind is the history of the oppression of women by men".

The only redeeming quality of feminism is that there are many feminists who are very unfamiliar with it, and bear that label just because they once heard it was what meant "pro gender equality" and never questioned that assumption. The sad thing being that they are the ones without power or I fluence in the movement.

[–]Forgetaboutthelonely 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

i kind of agree but I feel my hands have been tied.

[–]spudmixMachine Rights Activist 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

That's unfortunate. Are you talking about being overruled by upper moderation?

[–]Forgetaboutthelonely 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

In some ways yeah. I'm sure you remember a while back I was removing posts that were low effort (a lot of rage-bait fell under this)

But it seems there's no willingness to make changes to the rules that would keep this at bay.

and it wouldn't be anything draconian either. Just ensuring that there's no low effort memes or rage bait and reminding people when they're being shitty.

[–]InitiatePenguin 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

At some point people will need to stop complaining about feminism and do something.

  • Me

It's why I don't hang out here any more.

[–]czerdec 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

There's a lot of complaint posts about feminism

How is that a problem?

In case you missed it, feminism in the West in 2020 is far from rational. It makes sense in a culture of full legal equality that a campaign for equality would be dominated by far-from-sane people.

[–]czerdec 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I notice you say "Some users are more about hate-mongering than sticking to facts."

I'm concerned about your commitment to free discussion and want very high level of detail on what your method is to label speech you dislike as hate-mongering.

[–]Phollie[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

You mean speech calling women cunts isn’t hate-mongering? I think I’m concerned about your understanding of ad hominem attacks, gaslighting, straw manning, and any number of the logical fallacies used to perpetuate misogyny on reddit (including but not limited to, this sub). I report them as I see them and hope other users on here do the same.

[–]czerdec 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

gaslighting, straw manning, and any number of the logical fallacies used to perpetuate misogyny on reddit

I don't think gaslighting counts as a logical fallacy. I have seen very little "speech calling women cunts" on here, and there's only a limited amount that a small subreddit can do to eliminate every act of vandalism by random reddit posters.

[–]Phollie[S] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Doesn’t mean we stop trying. And you’re right, gaslighting is more like emotional/mental manipulation than a logical fallacy.

[–]Colombian-mra 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The second one is not radfem

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