Saw a comment claiming that Domestic violence in lesbian couples is lower and according to this perpetrators are not women. How true is it?

sakura_drop · 2026-07-17T04:30:14+00:00

Around 28% of male-identifying respondents and 41% of female-identifying respondents reported having been in a relationship where a partner was abusive.

...lesbian women were more likely than gay men to report having been in an abusive same-sex relationship (41% and 28% respectively)

Source

According to a 2011 study produced in the Journal of General Internal Medicine, domestic physical abuse among lesbian cohabiting couples is 35.4%, almost two times the rate of abuse found among heterosexual couples. Other studies place the prevalence of domestic violence among lesbian couples even higher than that. A 2010 study by the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control found that the rate of intimate partner violence (IPV) among lesbians is a stunning 40.4%. Another study in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology found that the rate of lesbian IPV is 47.5%. This means that nearly half of all women in lesbian domestic lifestyles have been abused by their partners.

Further statistics have also shed light on the understudied epidemic of sexual intimate partner violence (IPV) among women in same-sex partnerships. One study produced by the California Coalition Against Sexual Assault found that 33% of women have been sexually assaulted by another woman. This statistic prompted leftist publications Slate and Marie Claire to pen articles about the reality of lesbian rape and sexual abuse. Two more studies, one published in the Journal of Lesbian Studies (2008) and another in Violence and Victims (1997), suggest that rates of lesbian sexual abuse in domestic partnerships could be upwards of 55% and 42%, respectively. This translates to about 1 in 2 women who have been victims of sex abuse in a lesbian relationship.

Comparatively, sexual abuse among heterosexual domestic relationships is estimated to be 4.4% according to the National Institutes of Health. Some epidemiologists may argue that high abuse prevalence among homosexual women includes "lifetime risk", which incorporates abuse faced in childhood. Yet, when these variables are taken into consideration, we still see alarmingly high rates of lesbian IPV.

And for good measure: an article on how biases in the legal system can (and do) affect perception and punishment of female predators, whether their victims are also female or male:

One of the main reasons stopping them from pursuing a prosecution is the legal definition of rape.

Prior to 1994, UK law asserted that rape could only be committed by a man against a woman. In 1994, Stonewall (the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans charity) had the law changed to recognise that men can also rape men.

This remains the UK's current sexual crimes law.

Women in the UK have been convicted of helping a man, or men, to rape another person.

When they themselves rape, though, they commit an invisible crime with victims who are, effectively, silenced.

In September 2016 a petition called for the legal definition of rape to also include female on male rape. The Government responded: "There was a considerable amount of agreement that rape should remain an offence of penile penetration. We therefore have no plans to amend the legal definition of rape."

One of the women I spoke to, Cailey, had been repeatedly raped by an older woman for years, starting before she turned 16.

She spoke to a close friend of hers who worked in the police force, and who advised her against reporting her rape.

She told Cailey: "This is a minefield. If it was a man we might be able to get somewhere but prosecution is unlikely because it's a woman – you're talking about 1% prosecution rates or something."

EDIT // Forgot to add that this data is in addition to the hundreds upon hundreds of studies showing evidence that women are the majority perpetrators of unilateral DV in hetero relationships.

naaawww · 2026-07-17T06:06:33+00:00

Ever since that statistic came out saying lesbian couples were the highest, there’s been a socially conscious collective push to fix that statistic so it isn’t true.

SlowAssignments · 2026-07-17T03:43:45+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/s/BAPnvdoas6

My view on this is that you didn't do your due diligence.

ashen-dawn_7980 · 2026-07-17T04:43:35+00:00

Here is what it comes down to from my perspective: is it about recognizing domestic violence in lesbian relationships and how to address it (what form it may take and who the abuser is) or is this another "man = bad" argument?

Because it comes off to me like pointing at male offenders against lesbians is taking the focus off the percentage of lesbians who are abused by women. I really feel like it is erasing them, the same as is done to male victims of rape by using gendered definitions of rape and how it's like trying to swim up a waterfall countering these people when they come out the gate with "statistics" like that.

In other words, do they really even give a shit about lesbians?

Trump4Prison-2024 · 2026-07-17T05:39:36+00:00

So it's all based on self reporting?

Like, of course lesbians, who greatly veer misandrist, will report that they've been victimized by men. It's literally their entire identity for a LOT of them. Even if they've never actually been a victim, they'll twist literally anything to make themselves the victims.

My ex was this way. Once I see her patterns I started seeing it was more clearly.

KPplumbingBob · 2026-07-17T18:52:46+00:00

It's next level mental gymnastics. Somehow in their mind lesbians experiencing more domestic violence than women from heterosexual relationships means it must be mostly men who are the perpetrators.

Nighforce · 2026-07-17T03:42:38+00:00

Doesn't matter, divorce rates amongst lesbian couples still rank the highest.

CatsAndSwords · 2026-07-17T08:29:23+00:00

The claim is about IPV rates in lesbian relationships. The statistics about the gender of the perpetrator are for CSV (and stalking). IPV and CSV are not the same thing.

Factual_Statistician · 2026-07-18T01:48:42+00:00

All women until it's no women.

Razorbladekandyfan · 2026-07-17T16:12:15+00:00

How would 90 percent of lesbian DV victims have a male perpetrator?

No-Knowledge-8867 · 2026-07-18T11:13:19+00:00

Straight lies. The TinMen did a response to this lie. It's not about lesbians experiencing abuse from previous male partners. That's not what the study was measuring. It was studying violence from within relationships. Yes, lesbian relationships are the most violent.

Edit: to add link to TinMen post

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheTinMen/s/1pEBIxVbfF

UnarmedRespite · 2026-07-17T08:34:11+00:00

Does the 2024 NISVS have similar perpetrator gender data?

EmpathGenesis · 2026-07-18T18:15:06+00:00

Remember: the pursuit is for revenge, not justice. They will lie and deceive to achieve their ends.

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2026-07-19T00:59:05+00:00

As always, lifetime vs 12 months statistics: there is a recall bias for non male on female violence, so 12 months prevalence is more accurate than lifetime. So lifetime prevalence and perpetrators is not accurate. You should see 12 months perpetrator

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FightOrFreight · 2026-07-22T04:01:29+00:00

Firstly, bisexual women experience the most dv with 61% reporting it. 89.5% reported only male perpetrators. This means in the case of bisexual women they experienced more dv from men.

That's bisexual women addressed, but the discussion is supposed to be about domestic violence against lesbian women, so let's turn to that.

First we'll establish that 44% of lesbians reported having experienced domestic violence in their life which is higher than heterosexual women reported.

Great! So we're talking about domestic violence against lesbian women now, just as I thought we should. Let's get started.

Just so you can see I am not editing anything here is the DIRECT quote for sexual violence.

Sexual violence? Where the fuck did the discussion on domestic violence go?

The reason for this lightning-fast change of topic, of course, is that 67.4% of lesbian victims of DV have experienced DV exclusively from other women.

deesnuts78 · 2026-07-17T06:43:19+00:00

This is good work well done. If I may why do think lesbian couples have more dv then homo males and hetro couples? Is it just that they experience more dv from men then the other groups and then dv from women?

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