The Feminist Pick-me

flaumo · 2025-12-05T09:54:29+00:00

We do not experience the world the same way at all as non-white, non-cis, non- hetro people.

Classic identity politics / standpoint theory.

The problem is, there are two logical extremes: Every individual has individual experience and personality - or we are all human, no matter the gender or ethnicity. Surprisingly, both these extremes are egalitarian, because we are either all individuals, or all human, and therefore compatible with liberalism.

The weird middle point promoted by identity theory is, that all people belonging to a gender or ethnic group have the same experience and therefore form a political subject. This is actually divisive and leads to exclusion of people from debates, because they do not have the same identity markers.

Specific_Detective41 · 2025-12-05T10:16:14+00:00

Sure there are instances that are unique black and brown men, that white men won't be affected by. However when it concerns maleness and misandry, it seems to affect all men regardless of race.

You hit the nail on the head with this post by highlighting the major issue I have with identity politics and interactional theory, it leads to games of oppression Olympics in terms of "who has it worse" instead of uniting people on a common cause.

Gantolandon · 2025-12-05T10:36:24+00:00

Classic intersectionality, which in my opinion is a complete bullshit. Where people embrace several different identities, it doesn’t create a new identity that magically knows all the struggle of all the ones that compose them and some new ones on top of that. That’s self-congratulatory bogus.

What they do instead is that they choose the one that appeals to them the most, usually the one with most mass appeal. Intersectionality is simply a tool that larger and stronger identity politics groups use to subvert and subordinate the smaller and weaker ones. I’ve seen it in autistic advocacy spaces, which became LGBT+ and feminist movement’s mouthpieces overnight, pushing the members who didn’t have anything to do with these minority groups to the margin.

sn95joe84 · 2025-12-05T14:34:44+00:00

Good write up. I have some problems with the men’s lib subreddit. Theres kind of an “apologize for existing while male” vibe there, and I find it spineless.

Punder_man · 2025-12-05T19:09:46+00:00

I see someone reading and evaluating the world and seeing a lot of discomfort. It’s normal to try to want to find something common and to create solidarity. It just can’t come by devaluing other people’s experiences.

Except of course the experiences of "White Men" right?
God that comment is so inane and completely destroys any argument or valid points they may have.

I see other feminists do this as well. In this case, you'll see women (more specifically white women) very openly claim "I'd care more about these men's rights activists if they spoke more about black and brown men." They aren't even hiding it anymore. The DNC in their dumb ass campaign even openly admitted that they consistently send the message to young white men that "they suck." I've seen this stuff so much that the whole "speaking up for non-white men" seems like a performance to me.

It is 100% performative on their part.. Given how we see the majority of feminists treating white women as the most oppressed class in the world when white women are literally the least oppressed class compared to black women, Mexican women etc..

Its ironic how they classify their arguments as fighting for "ALL" women yet they call men out for not specifically raising the issue of "Black Men"
Its yet another hypocritical double standard.

Its also funny to me because when many MRA's point out the disadvantages we as men face we do often point out that black men are even more disadvantaged in those areas than white men are.
It just seems to me that they want to make women's issues a united front.. where as they want men's issues to be black or white (pun fully intended here)

JEVOUSHAISTOUS · 2025-12-05T11:07:03+00:00

I've seen some traumatizing stories on this sub. I could never relate to those stories. So to sit here as a white man and confidently say: "I just can’t come by devaluing other people’s experiences" is baffling to me. You don't know all their experiences.

Thank you, I've been saying that for the better part of a decade, and felt like I was shouting in the void.

It's probably true that, all else equals, a white woman has it worse than a white man, or a black man has it worse than a white man. But this only works in theory. In real life, two people are never all else equals and thus this concept crumbles fast.

In real life, you never know what a random person is going through and a straight white man may very well be worse off than a lesbian black woman. Not because he's a straight white male, but for other reasons entirely

There is such a thing as being white or being male helping you on certain given situations. But there's no such thing as being a white male making your life automatically easier than any black woman.

I'll go as far as saying that in some cases, being a white man can play against you, because you have the "right" set of other disadvantages that just happen to intersect worth with being white and male.

For example, some forms of crippling social anxieties might put you in a worse position because with white guys being less likely to watch out for each other and have a sense of community, it's harder to have someone help you open up and get you out of misery.

The issue with automatically assuming straight cis white men are playing in easy mode, is it becomes much harder for them to receive any help if, for any reason, they happen not to.

ChimpPimp20 · 2025-12-06T02:32:41+00:00

Something else that I should've mentioned is the rhetoric that leftist black/brown men and white women use in these conversations. I've noticed that left leaning non-white men tend to over correct and spew quotes like "I don't trust white people" while white women tend to use the "I don't trust men" line. In the setting of the left these groups both seem to be very aware that black/brown men need to own their male privilege and that white women need to own their white privilege. I can sort of understand this mindset but the way it's done is counterproductive. White people do have certain privileges as well as men, but so does everyone else. It seems that in the case of these groups, they are willing to give something up in order to hold onto something else. Whether it be resentment against white people or resentment against men. I know this kind of diverges from the original post but I just thought I'd share that.

Local-Willingness784 · 2025-12-05T14:41:23+00:00

its just very slimy, the comment and the vibe but i guess he is that up there that he simply doesnt has any issue that other men has? cause i do see many academics and corporate white men with that vibe when they are all about politics for the sake of feeling comfy but when push comes to shove they always try to lecture you, not as much as white women (sorry if its misogyny) but you can even see it in the comment here,

n you I see me, trying to figure it all out. I see someone reading and evaluating the world and seeing a lot of discomfort. It’s normal to try to want to find something common and to create solidarity

he knows who you are, he knows what you do, better than yourself, he puts it on him again, and then makes himself feel good, say something nice and thats that,

Subpar-Amoeba · 2025-12-05T17:48:36+00:00

Are you guys familiar with the concept of an interaction effect)?

Whenever I think of intersectionality, I always think this is an oversimplistic main effects only no interaction effect model. Each flavor of identitarian oppression (gender, race, disability) is a main effect. Intersectionality is the thesis that these effects are purely additive.

The most glaring interaction effect is for black men. Black men have it tough. In the language of statistical model selection, I would reject the null intersectionality model that would posit that black men have it considerably easier than black women.

Once you reject the additive model, you have to estimate the "oppression coefficient" for each and every subgroup. Almost like we are all unique individuals who all face our own challenges lol.

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Title	The Feminist Pick-me
Author	ChimpPimp20
Upvotes	105
Comments	38
Date	December 5, 2025 8:54 AM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/1peq8w6/the_feminist_pickme/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/the-feminist-pick-me.1568102 https://theredarchive.com/post/1568102

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