A GNO shit test

jacktenofhearts · 2015-05-07T09:31:16+00:00

Is anything about this woman redeeming?

She only wants another baby because she's trying to do something with the (sadly likely genetically damaged) ticks left in her biological clock.

You are literally at peak SMV age (at least according to Rollo) and you are spending these years with a chubby older woman who seems to only tolerate your presence because she needs you as a potential sperm donor.

For your immediate situation, I'd just reply "no." She'll hamster "why not?" and then say "it's unfair she doesn't get to go out." Just reply, "you asked for permission, I'm not giving permission, and I don't particularly care to discuss this over text."

When you see her at home, act like everything's cool. If she hamsters more about her GNO, then you may want to say something overt as: "I'm making this easy for you. You asked me for permission because you know this is disrespectful of my time and our marriage. You're an adult. If you want to disregard my permission, I can't stop you from going. But I'm not going to make you feel good about decisions you know you should feel bad about."

Some will say the above is too much talk. Personally I prefer "blunt and direct" as well, but your mileage may vary. Just make sure you don't get sucked into an argument. If you find yourself engaging with the hamster at all, then just leave the room.

This will probably lead to some sort of hysterical response from her. Normally I'd say this is easily an opportunity to comfort her about how you feel this way because of how much you care about your family, and then start passionately kissing her and then end with some oral sex. Since you don't want another kid right now, I would recommend against any kind of PIV.

In the long run, consider whether this marriage can really be salvaged, or if you can do better for you and your son in the long run.

theultmatecad · 2015-05-07T10:44:00+00:00

You may be more physically attractive then your wife on paper but your neediness is repulsive to her.

MgFeSi · 2015-05-07T15:38:24+00:00

My suggestion. Reply and tell her no problem.

Get a babysitter for the night. Go out on Friday yourself with some friends or solo, doesn't matter. Tell her after the plans are set. Don't back down. Go out and have a great night.

mkopec · 2015-05-07T17:19:38+00:00

All pretty much explained here, bro...

http://therationalmale.com/2012/08/27/girls-night-out/

"This is a very common shit test. Don’t even pause to think about it and do NOT let her perceive for a second that you’re even contemplating it. Be matter-of-fact and tell her you’ll see her when she gets back. Don’t tell her to call you, and don’t you call her. If she calls be concise and ask her if she’s enjoying herself, nothing more – no details, nothing. Let her be as forthcoming as she wants and never for a minute give her the impression you’re suspicious or posessive. This is the surest way to pass this test."

"The secret of the GNO (girls night out) shit test is, the truth of the matter is, that if a woman is determined to cheat on you, there’s really nothing you can do about it. You can protect your own genetic interests, but whether it’s on a GNO or with some guy from the office, if a woman wants to fuck, she’ll find a way to fuck and all the psychological, possessive arm twisting in the world wont change that desire. The covert message in this is what’s important."

KyfhoMyoba · 2015-05-07T15:54:55+00:00

There are a thousand things wrong with all of this and I want to give advice, but most have been given... And I do t really want you stay with her. You are describing a nightmare of a woman and you aren't much better.

She married you to have a kid. You knew this going in.

She cut you off at the balls as soon as the kid was in the picture.

She complains that she has to take care of the kid while you work abroad (she doesn't understand your sacrifice) and she wanted the kid!

She wants you to ask about the kids while you are at work... But doesn't want to ask how work is while she is at home. (Ask about the kid, BTW. When she starts in about herself, which she will, stop talking to her)

The best advice I can get is the simplest. Stop being around her.

NiftyDolphin · 2015-05-07T15:08:50+00:00

still had gotten the speech that I'm egotistical and had put a lot of distance between her and I. That I didn't care for her at all.

Question for the group: would this be considered a comfort test?

donit · 2015-06-19T02:19:56+00:00

(Problem with wife going to theater)

Hi, this is just a rough draft of notes from my research to explore some of the psychology going on in situations like this, the psychology of arguments and some of the techniques for handling it.

I think you're going about it the wrong way by not letting her go to the theater. Your reason for not giving her permission to go to the theater is...because she hasn't been good? I realize you're pissed with her, but that's not a legitimate reason and so blocking her from going is just going to make her behavior worse. And anger punishments like that don't work anyway. You can't punish a wife into being good to you. Negativity only breeds negativity.

And having her go against your will sets a bad precedent, a toxic atmosphere, and will tarnish her respect for you, because she believes in her heart that it is unfair. So, I would reverse and give her permission, and say it's because she's been good, and just make up something or leave it at that. She'll be good once you train her to be. You need to start training her by walking her through things, throttling your attention, and not giving it for free. Your attention is 100X more effective than any form of punishment or reward.

First thing is you lost her attraction with your behavior. Not with not being good to her, but being too good to her at the wrong times. Never do something for her just from being asked.

It should always be something you want to do for her, at the time you want to do it. Fulfilling every request she makes (or even too many), and not drawing enough boundaries will cause her attraction to disappear.

Also, you've been too nice and understanding in arguments, taking too much time to explain things to her. That's a no-no with women, and that's the other thing that destroyed her attraction. When you invest a lot of effort into an argument or concern that she brought up, she counts that as your vote saying it was a legitimate concern, which strengthens her resolve even more.

Then you come across as a weasly no-confidence scchmuck trying to appeal to her and convince her of what she interprets is probably a really weak stance, and needs to be supported with lots and lots of selling points, and so she's not impressed by the display one bit. She sees a dancing monkey and so she continues throwing arguments at him just to see him dance some more.

And when she hears the stressed tone of your voice in the argument, it sounds to her like the injured, dying squeals of a wild animal being hunted, drawing out her predatory instincts.

If she was a observer of the discussion, and was watching the expressions of you both arguing through a window, and hearing the muffled sounds of raised voices, who would she think is in the right? Who would she score as the winner, and who is the one who's acting crazy or being an asshole.

Women judge you much more on your mannerisms, expressions and behavior than on the content of what you're saying. So, if you come across as someone who seems to be behaving like he's wrong, or expecting to be wrong, or is not level-headed, then she's going to score your arguments as being poorly cobbled together, and of little weight or impact.

Women don't always comprehend what you're saying, so they use a lot of cross-analysis techniques to try to figure out whether the phrases you just said are probably right or probably wrong. She uses your mannerisms to try to judge whether you think you're right or wrong, and how much confidence she thinks you have in your points. She judges the argument as if there was a crowd of people watching, and by what she thinks they would say.

So, when the husband spends an hour explaining all the different ways he is right, what the wife hears is all the different ways her point is important, and she looks at all those gathered points he makes, which shows to her that he feels that he needs that many points to overcome her point, because her stance is so strong and his is so weak.

So, you see the pattern? It's a trap: The more he tries to appeal to her and plead his case, the weaker it becomes in her mind, and the weaker he as a person becomes in her mind. And so after an hour of that, she leaves the encounter annoyed because now she's certain you're wrong, and experiencing a loss of attraction to you because she's thinking about how feebly you tried to worm your way out of her argument with all those pathetic lame-sounding excuses you gave to her. And if you did it in a lame (I'm trying to be convincing) tone, that just made it sound even more pathetic.

And so these two things (how you deal with arguments and requests) governs her attraction more than anything else about you. You're physical appearance has nothing to do with it at this point. Her loss of attraction is completely centered around these situations.

So, how do you win in these situations? First, you need to understand that she's going to make more requests than she wants you to grant, and so it's a test and she wants you to deny some of them, such as 1 in 5). Now, she doesn't know that deep down inside she doesn't want you to grant some of them- they all seem important to her, so you need to only deny her in legitimate cases. And not out of punishment.

The reason for denial should be a short phrase like a king would do, such as "Because I don't want you to." or "It would make me unhappy." Would the king spend an hour explaining his point of view, trying to convince her, trying to appeal to her and make her happy about it? No. He just states it matter-of-factly.

When you find yourself trying to appeal to your wife, trying to make her happy, trying to appease her, trying to get on her good side, what happens is you come across as a try-hard wuss who is trying to get her to like him.

What happens when you try to get someone to like you? They assume that they probably shouldn't like you, because you don't seem to expect them to like you, and you feel the need to try hard to get them to, because that's the only way anyone ever would.

Likewise, when you try hard to convince someone of a point, it makes it seem like you don't expect to be able to convince them and so you feel it is necessary to make a lot of points in order to convince them, because that's the only way they every would, given the fact that your point is such a weak one and since you're putting so much effort into being convincing, you're someone who probably is never taken seriously because most people don't need to do all that sing and dance just to make a point, and so you're obviously someone who is used to having to go to great lengths to defend his points, probably because a lot of people tend to doubt what you're saying, and so it probably means your points are usually wrong.

People (especially women) do that as a shortcut. They judge you by how they figure society treats you. So, if you seem like you're used to being criticized for being wrong, that's a shortcut for determining you're probably someone who tends to be wrong. They can do that without having to listen to your arguments or thinking any of them through. So, it's an extremely efficient shortcut...when it's accurate.

So, the way to deal with that is with "amused mastery." Someone who is sure of themselves, and used to being right will just speak quietly and directly with a slightly amused smile.

So when your wife asks for something unreasonable, you respond with a statement of fact, and slight amusement of her silliness. Now, now now, that wasn't an appropriate thing to say or request.

You're gently setting boundaries, and chiding her for her outburst. Be the tree, not the squirrel. And when she brings it up again, you remember it her being nutty, crazy outburst of behavior.

I think if you approach her unreasonable requests, arguments, and concerns (you don't care about me) as a concerned parent, you will establish yourself as the man in the relationship, and her attraction will come roaring back on its own.

They just want us to set boundaries, to show there is someone protecting them and looking after them. And they want you to show them that you can handle yourself when someone comes along to pick on you and pepper you with questions, because if you can't handle her doing it, you're going to get beat up and run over by everybody else in town. So, she considers it her job to stress-test you to make sure you're able to handle yourself by putting her in her place.

And if you want to up things another notch, get a little social proof too. Don't let her think she's the only girl who likes you, or is the only friend you have. Each time she sees you out with friends or talking to people, she'll act all pissed you're not focusing on her, but she secretly loves seeing you do well in social settings. If she sees you talking to another girl, she'll freak out, but if you hold frame with amused mastery ("tut tut, why are you behaving like this?" and don't give her complaints any weight or consideration), then later on that night, she will freak out again in bed because of how much it turns her on seeing another girl interested in you, especially if she was hot.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-05-07T15:05:49+00:00

After having the baby, and specially after getting married, our relationship eroded to the point of not having sex in two years. We just had our first sexual encounter 10 days ago. I have been really supportive with the kid (feeding, bathing, changing, caring) and still had gotten the speech that I'm egotistica

Is there a Macro around here on these stories. Once again: She will ALWAYS try to take control of the relationship by denying sex. When she does, NOTHING you do can make her happy or satisfied. She needs Alpha cock and you are not only not giving it to her, you are the ultimate Beta! Two years with no sex? Seriously? You are worried about your wife going to a play because she MIGHT get horny a few days later? Whoo boy!

I don't want to come across as jealous or taking vengeance on her rejecting me last weekend.

No problem- she fucked you a couple times this week so last weekend is a distant memory. Right? Can you even appreciate now how fucked up this is?

I would completely ignore my wife- no calls, not texts, no kind words, NOTHING. Instead of spending time with a rude, controlling, denying screechtard I would cultivate friends, get a black belt in karate, anything to be out and about and away from this person.

How can you even stand to be in the same room with her?

It is not 'revenge' or petulant. It is cause and effect. Strong men don't put up with bullshit games and they are out the door sooner rather than later. The attitude MUST BE: "YOU are not having sex tonight" and then leave with a smirk. Perhaps coming back the next morning. Perhaps not.

Finally, her asking permission during ovulation is a VERY GOOD sign. She is more submissive around ovulation which women only do if they have not lost all attraction for their man. There is hope but my God, pick up your fucking balls.

Glenbert · 2015-05-07T09:43:15+00:00

The way I see it, it is a shit test, since she is due to ovulate in 2-3 days.

What? You just said that her period starts the day after? Is her cycle 6 days long? Are you mouse people?

Am I missing something?

And any rate, understand how this actually works before you go off applying it incorrectly.

rediscover03 · 2015-05-07T11:32:07+00:00

Dude. Don't have another baby with this woman. Step back, look at everything, is it worth another 2+ yrs of no sex after she gets what she wants. Indeed sounds like you have yourself a master manipulator.

athene34 · 2015-05-07T13:32:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

NiftyDolphin · 2015-05-07T15:16:17+00:00

so, the thing is she's written a message this morning telling that a female friend wants to go with her to a play at a local theater on May 22nd. That's the day before her period. The play is semi-erotic in nature. Then she asks "Permision???".

If she's in the ovulation stage, she should be a bit more pliant and submissive. That may be why she asked your permission.

The problem with the timing is that women are usually horny in the few days leading up to their periods.

Sepean · 2015-05-08T17:56:59+00:00

I still deal with a low interest in me on her part and constant allusions to being tired when i initiate. Physically, I'm like 2-3 points above her SMV. she's short and a but chubby, I'm 6ft3" 210 lbs, 18% bf. I learned about RP more than a year ago, and have been lifting, dressing up, trying to be more assertive, but I've found my nemesis in this master manipulator.

If this is true, you're doing it wrong. Look up BluePillProfessor's 12 levels of dread post and escalate.

Title	A GNO shit test
Author	athene34
Upvotes	6
Comments	59
Date	May 7, 2015 8:54 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/355nd7/a_gno_shit_test/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/a-gno-shit-test.201986 https://theredarchive.com/post/201986

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