TL;DR: Post is for new guys like me. I've noticed a drastic shift in the way people interact with me as a direct result of the way I interact with people. Imagine that? For low confidence guys, lifting is the cornerstone.
For most of my life, I never allowed myself to be vulnerable. It was a protection mechanism I built for managing rejection. I needed to manage rejection because I needed to be liked. I needed to be liked because I cared what people thought about me. I cared what people thought of me because I lacked confidence.
I have been on my lifting journey for 2 years now. I started out with Body Beast as a complete novice with an in-door pull-up bar, a set of PowerBlock Classic 50's, and a cheap weight bench I got on Amazon. I followed the program literally. All my meals were planned, I worked out almost every day, and I was getting results. I never got big but I got fitter, learned the basics, and gained some confidence. I've tried going to the gym before but I was so nervous and clueless it never stuck. For me, starting this journey in the privacy of my own home with someone to guide me was necessary (at the time).
Now I have a complete home gym with 5-125lb. PowerBlocks, a built-in ceiling pull-up bar, power rack with ~800lbs. of plates and a really nice, solid bench. I have acquired other accessories as well. Point is, I've stuck with it and rewarded myself with new gear along the way. I'm at the point now where I'm really starting to see explosive results. It's fucking awesome and it's been a long journey to get here. I've learned a ton about diet and fitness. It's a whole new hobby and lifestyle that anyone can relate to because most people are out of shape and wish they weren't. People ask me questions, I give advice. They usually don't take it but whatever, that's on them.
Weightlifting has given me something to be proud of: a solid, muscular build in an age where "Dad Bods" are widely accepted and "Amy Schumer" is hot. This is the narrative but it's unsupported by biology. For me, I needed this to build my confidence. My confidence is a result of knowing I can set my mind to something difficult and accomplish it. Lifting heavy shit is hard. Lifting it regularly is dedication. Dedication takes discipline. Discipline propels you to heights unattainable by the satisfied. Accomplishment is attractive. I've pushed boundaries that I never thought possible. There is a mind body connection here you cannot recreate in any other way. We were meant to be physical. Denying that is checking out of the game. Checking out of the game is for pussies.
This confidence has allowed me to put myself out there like I wouldn't in the past. I don't care if I am rejected, I'm confident. This is true vulnerability and it's attractive to people. It says, "I'm here, I'm not needy, let's have fun." It's infectious. All crazy shit is happening to me: the past three stores I've gone to, the people gave me deals on shit I didn't even ask for deals on. Confidence is projected from your own vulnerability and willingness to take a hit. Protecting myself from rejection was a huge mistake I made in my nice guy past. Lifting can help open you up. It takes time to get in shape. You must. Get started. Enjoy the journey. You will grow in more ways than one. Enjoy!
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