We are not married, but are living together with two kids. Complicated story regarding not being married. We have a poor sex life and this is all on her. She tries occasionally, but it is starfish sex or reluctant blow jobs. I could get into it if it wasn't the mother of my children.

I am working out, making a lot of money, have many hobbies (I just took our 5-year old son on a 3 day backpacking trip) and spend time away. The other moms in the area are hot after me and always complimenting me, so I know I have decent SMV.

I don't know how to handle what happened last night. Before I write her an angry email I want to get some MRP advice. It was my birthday and my mom has the kids. She texted on her way home from work asking what I wanted for dinner. I responded that I wanted my bday blow job. She responded that she should have known. All good so far.

She gets home and first recommends that we go on a bike ride. It is still light out and a very nice day so I agree. We get home after 9pm and she says she wants Chinese take-out. OK, so we find a place a half hour away that is still open and drive to get take-out. Now she says she wants to watch some movies. I counter that we should do the BJ first so we can have a second round of PIV after. She says she wants to watch movies first and doesn't acknowledge the second round of sex.

She wants to watch three episodes of House of Cards. She presses "play" each time. Now, it is 1:30am and she starts complaining that I always keep her up so late. She huffs and puffs and throws a pillow on the ground and expects me to lie on the edge of the bed while she goes down on me.

My response is to get up and leave saying I am not responsible for her being up late and not interested in getting a blow job from someone who is complaining. I go into another room and go to sleep. She follows me in now complaining about how I am keeping her up and now am refusing her "gift" of a bday blow job. I don't acknowledge her and just go to sleep.

This is not in a vacuum. Things like this are pretty common. She always sees herself as a victim of my selfishness which is totally inaccurate. She has deep-rooted misandry that stems from her dad abandoning her family when she was 3. She is a harsh feminist and wants to control absolutely everything. I would leave her if I didn't think it would be terrible for the kids.

I am considering just telling her that I am going to stay with her but start having sex with other women. It seems like a better solution than lying and doing it. There are other hot women that really want to hook up with me and I cannot continue saying no to them while not getting anything at home.

edit: OK, so what I am getting here is that despite any improvements I have made in my general life, I am still being a pussy with my SO. My takeaway is to spend more time on myself and ignoring her needs more.

second edit: Frame around her. I need to care less about her opinions and desires and show here the way. It is probably going to result in our splitting, but better that than my kids growing up with a disrespected dad.

Tonight I am going out drinking despite the fact that I arranged to have our kids away for a few days of good sex. The sex clearly isn't going to happen, so I might as well enjoy myself.

Thanks Guys