hypocrisy

SpacelessChain1 · 2021-02-28T20:33:12+00:00

Honestly just tell them you didn’t ask and don’t care to hear their opinions on the way you look

ImportantResults · 2021-02-28T21:09:58+00:00

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Reddit1984Censorship · 2021-02-28T20:22:33+00:00

Shut down empathy for them is the best way to go about it i think.

Cyb3rd31ic_Citiz3n · 2021-02-28T21:28:44+00:00

Tell them you didn't do it for them, and that them objectifying you for their own gratification is fucking gross.

higgs456 · 2021-02-28T21:40:15+00:00

I wouldn't be too aggressive since it's the workplace, but something like giving them a questioning look and saying "Okay?" like you're baffled they're commenting might be enough to get them to stop doing it, just make it awkward and shut down the conversation whenever it happens

waaaman3 · 2021-02-28T21:27:13+00:00

Do the I didn’t do it for you I done it for myself move that women use with makeup all the time

ImportantResults · 2021-02-28T22:45:27+00:00

Who else also thinks that make up should be banned from the workplace?

windows_n_cheese · 2021-03-01T06:35:06+00:00

Woman: chooses not to shave leg hair

World: (quite rightly) that's fine do what you want.

Man: grows his beard

World: what the fuck is wrong with you, revolting neckbeard

YesAmAThrowaway · 2021-02-28T22:55:48+00:00

"1. That's none of your business. 2. I didn't ask your opinion. 3. I'm not an object for you to like, you can put your opinions about my looks up somewhere."

Mastery35 · 2021-02-28T21:24:09+00:00

That is soooo true! I never thought about it that way. That happened to me! I never thought about calling them out.

Ttffccvv · 2021-03-01T02:45:43+00:00

Them: “Ewww. I don’t like your beard. At all!”

You: “Okay, thanks for the input. And in the spirit of helping each other look our best, you really could stand to lose about twenty pounds.”

quorn_king · 2021-03-01T00:13:01+00:00

Tell them you'd prefer them clean shaven too lmao

triple291 · 2021-02-28T22:38:46+00:00

Just tell them you hate their hair and that you think it's gross. Then ask them if they felt good when you told them that, and that is exactly what they're doing to you.

TheAtheistReverend · 2021-03-01T00:01:51+00:00

Seriously fxck them. Grow it and come on over to r/beards let us tell you what we think of it!

HUZNAIN · 2021-03-01T04:32:46+00:00

'My body, My choice'

HeWhoIsBearded · 2021-03-01T05:30:44+00:00

"I didn't grow it for you"

"Luckily your opinion is not required."

Also printing off the phrase "I can do what I want - Ron" on a piece of paper like Ron Swanson in Parks And Recreation and showing your "permit" is fun.

Worst case scenario, "grey rock" them. Their opinion is boring and irrelevant. You can do what you want.

Solidarity with my bearded brethren.

Stay fuzzy...

womblefish · 2021-03-01T08:30:12+00:00

Cattiest response....

Woman: I don't like your new beard

Man: I don't like yours much either.

just4style42 · 2021-03-01T02:10:58+00:00

I am very annoyed about this myself. If you comment on a black persons hair in a professional environment it is "racist". If you comment on a womans hair in a professional environment it is "sexist". But there is seemingly no issue with people criticizing my hair and beard as I am a white male. I just want consistent standards. :/

heightsenberg · 2021-02-28T21:07:07+00:00

Do what I did, turn it into an outrageous moustache and revel in their uneasiness and odd glances.

I currently have an old-timey strongman moustache and have never been happier.

Crassard · 2021-03-01T00:26:21+00:00

For me it's work and they have a point about it not having a proper seal or something like that, but yeah randoms coming up and saying your beard is gross is.. fucked up kinda lol.

TheGuti23 · 2021-03-01T01:52:40+00:00

I ussualy have my beard pretty long. But whenever I decide to shave I would have every female I know telling me "what the fuck were you thinking". Yeah, double standards my man

timleykis101 · 2021-02-28T22:36:53+00:00

Maybe you should comment on the attire of the commentators :)

hardturkeycider · 2021-03-01T01:09:33+00:00

Throw it right back at them. "You should wear more makeup!"

HeartOfSky · 2021-02-28T23:58:38+00:00

Man, this triggers my past, big time. I'm a 45 y/o gay male who's spent an extremely long time surrounded by mostly women. I never knew how much I was being criticized until I got pretty far into my spiritual awakening, which started at 39 y/o.

Two years ago, I finally started to embrace how much I like sparkle and iridescence. I decided that glittered eye makeup and orange, metallic nail polish (emulating aspects of sunrise) were my jam. It's fun to look in the mirror and see the subtle sparkle on my eyes, and most people I encounter really enjoy it. I know I do.

In April, of 2019, one of my regular clients came over for a session. She's... difficult, and I've threatened to fire her on two previous occasions. (Again, I wasn't aware of how I was letting women talk to me.) So, I do my nails and do a full orange eye. Client comes in and says

"They eye makeup looks weird." To which I responded "I think the work you're looking for is 'awesome'."

She replies "No, it's weird." So, I respond again with "No, I'm pretty sure that the word you're looking for is 'amazing'."

"No. The nails are cool, but the eye makeup is weird."

At this point in time, all I could say was "The only appropriate thing to say right now is a compliment."

Since she had the nerve to then reply with "Well, I won't say anything then." I came back by telling this 65 y/o woman "Good girl."

Mid session, she begins to insult my use of psychedelics, wholly refusing to accept that it's the healing and love those substances have afforded me that prevented me from committing suicide AND for helping to bring me up to being one of the most skilled healers alive. So, I lean in and say "You need to stop right now..."

After the session, she says "I think I figured it out. Whatever keeps HeartOfSky happy." My response was "Nooooow you're getting the hang of it.

I fired her ten months later for offending me again. Gosh, I feel so much better now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Around the same point in time, I was leaving work and decided to stop for a burger. My hair had been braided all day. So, when I let it down, it was wavy with some poof. Was wearing orange sneakers, bright blue track pants (hiked up to the calf), light orange t-shirt, and a bitchin' blue/orange/black bomber jacket. Me? I was feeling all kinds of colorful and awesome.

These two older women enter the place and one makes a bee line for me. Because of my earbuds, I didn't hear what she said to me, so I took them out and asker her to repeat herself. She asked me if I was a baseball player. I said "No. Why?". "Well... you're dressed like one." All I could say in return was "I like this." She then walked away, and I'm sitting there thinking "Where my compliment?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, here's the dealio. You're on the receiving end of the kinds of abuses that fit well into the category of "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't fucking say it at all."

Next time someone has the nerve to present to you unsolicited criticism, the only response I can think of is "Oh? And here I was thinking you were going to compliment me." If you politely call out their mistake, they have no choice but to back down, or double down. If they double down, it's clearly "workplace harassment". You should then go to HR and double down on a claim of sexual misconduct.

Greenglitteringshore · 2021-02-28T23:52:44+00:00

I think that there are certain social norms that are toxic and they get passed around from person to person. Growing up, I was always told that clean shaven men are "better looking" or whatever. It's stupid because... men grow beards, and nobody should feel ashamed that they grow facial hair. It's kind of like when men tell women their tits aren't big enough, or that they "look like a man" with short hair. Its corrosive either way. If this incident really bothers you, I suggest speaking up for yourself if you feel comfortable. You could say "I'm fine with my facial hair, its natural to me and I like it. Please do not critisize the way I look, it makes me feel uncomfortable and I didn't do that to you"

Technical_Lime · 2021-03-01T06:21:45+00:00

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Ariliescbk · 2021-03-01T08:05:28+00:00

Let them know they can take their judgemental asses elsewhere; like back to the hairdresser that gave them that weird-ass haircut.

ALTSuzzxingcoh · 2021-03-01T10:23:43+00:00

You should probably know that those standard surgical masks that are a loosely-covering blue/white paper sheet are not the best thing to wear because covid spreads through aerosol-containing air instead of mostly "just" droplets like the flu and the N95 masks people should be wearing that prevent aerosol exchange between the out- and inside do not work with facial hair.

Field_of_Gimps · 2021-03-01T11:02:32+00:00

oh hell yeah dude, i had some colleagues and even my mum would tell me it looked trampy.

Just drop a casual 'Got quite a bit of face paint on there today karen, havent you'

perhapsnew · 2021-03-01T11:17:43+00:00

Report them all to HR. They would have reported you if you did the same to them.

Jurritoboi · 2021-03-01T14:50:03+00:00

Just tell them to shut the hell up because it’s your body your choice lol and if they call you an ass just say at least your not a nagging bitch

TigPlaze · 2021-03-01T21:40:02+00:00

Total double standards. You didn't ask for their opinion.

LegendaryEmu1 · 2021-03-02T09:54:52+00:00

Enjoy your beard, beardliness is next to manliness.

I haven't been clean shaven since i was like 15. My facial hair grows very fast, i would have to have every single day to maintain that. Not as bad as my dad, who has stubble in the afternoon if he shaves in the morning.

Really, its your face, tell them to keep their opinion to themselves. Grow a gandalf beard just to spite them. Then become a wizard to really spite them.

Charmingaxelotl · 2021-02-28T23:26:30+00:00

Honestly don’t think too much about it. I grew a beard 2 months ago and 9 out 10 women loved it. Just do you.

TAPriceCTR · 2021-02-28T23:51:13+00:00

"Unless you're planning to make out with me, your opinion on my facial hair is meaningless."

Frosty-Gate-8094 · 2021-03-01T15:12:14+00:00

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An_important_comic · 2021-03-01T01:18:40+00:00

Maybe they're hinting that they want your face between their legs? Ask them.

C2074579 · 2021-03-01T00:15:02+00:00

Yeah, it's just rude. Really annoying. Like stfu, I didn't ask for your opinion.

flipitsmike · 2021-03-01T00:25:31+00:00

Those are the ones you make your mustache dance for.

omidoggo · 2021-03-01T03:41:13+00:00

Just tell them to wash their face then to talk to u

d_nijmegen · 2021-03-01T03:52:39+00:00

Tell her. You don't gain anything by her approval and her disapproval doesn't cost anything.

Her opinion is perfectly irrelevant.

uraiib · 2021-03-01T04:07:12+00:00

this is so true, people comment on me the same way as well when i decide to clean shave and people, especially women i know, tell me to grow it out and that i’ll look nicer

kaunText · 2021-03-01T05:33:56+00:00

Say - Oh you dont like it? I'm glad I did this then.

bison_breakfast · 2021-03-01T05:39:20+00:00

Women and men have no right to comment on your physical appearance.

s-hop · 2021-03-01T06:12:04+00:00

1st off beards are awesome and I know a ton of girls who like them. 2nd those girls you work with can F off.

makosh22 · 2021-03-01T07:46:33+00:00

It was a long ago when anybody commented smth unpleasant abut my appearance, but the answer was and is and will be - i don't do it for you, so relax ^:)

MotherAce · 2021-03-01T09:13:18+00:00

This was actually an interesting take. Not sure I've ever considered that comments on whether or not we look good with or without beard is a comment on our appearance akin to someone blurting out to a women acquintance that they look good without makeup.

I wanna stress that I don't think either comment should ever warrant a reacton of dismissal or scorn, but it's nevertheless a double standard that was non-apparent to me.

CuriousAboutPleasure · 2021-03-01T09:20:41+00:00

It's a shit test man, and you most prolly failed it if you reacted to it adversely. They care about you and they're attracted to you. Remember agree, exaggerate and laugh about it or just ignore.

Something like "Woah soo rude...that's not what my date told me." OR

"Hey what's that above your lips? *she points at her non-existent mustache* "I don't like that either." *then laugh about it, 100% she'll take it positively, coz' you're just fucking with her the same way she's fucking with you.* OR

"Yeah I'm gay..." *stare at her eyes, most probably her heart will melt since you're NOT taking her seriously* OR

"I love my baby (referring to the beard)...you're just hatin' cuz' you don't have one" *say this positively with a slight grin* *it's funny 'coz it's outrageous and they'll love you for it*

Oh and don't take those advice on the top that are upvoted here the most— they're horrible, make you seem reactive & negative and make you lose your frame.

VoiceOverGaming900 · 2021-03-01T12:01:55+00:00

Didn't people with facial hair have a bigger chance at catching Covid or were those false statements?

afroschlan · 2021-03-01T15:53:23+00:00

Report them to HR for harassment

2021-03-01T16:56:06+00:00

This happened to me as well!! Was debated at my work between multiple (female) coworkers whether it worked for me or not. One even asked to touch it (for real!)

Vanriel · 2021-03-01T17:21:25+00:00

In a way I suppose I'm guilty of this. My brother (who I haven't spoken to for a couple of years for unrelated reasons) grew a short styled beard. It looked really great, and since he has quite angular features it helped to soften his face which made him look that much better.

Then he started to grow it out. And out. And out some more. Until it was halfway down his chest. It looked awful, and made him look so much older than he is. And what was worse is that he didn't keep it shaped. It was just there, looking like a big hairy box dangling off of his face. Everyone who saw him with it said to him it looks horrible, it makes you look old, etc.

Looking back at it now, I'm not going to lie and say it looked good, because it really didn't. But then again, if he wanted to look like that it was his choice, regardless of my own personal views.

2021-03-01T19:39:22+00:00

Tell HR the exact same way they would.

Chuck0017 · 2021-03-01T20:19:14+00:00

Just ask them why they thought it was a good idea to put on a few extra pounds during lockdown. Or just reply, don't be too jealous of my facial hair.... your upper lip hair is coming in thick ;) Don't take no shit.

My-Name-Is-Davey · 2021-03-01T21:26:09+00:00

Without a doubt report them because if this goes further you may get into trouble, the double standards are only there because men don't report this kind of bad behavior, even if it is just to cover your own back have a word with the mangers about it.

2021-03-02T17:22:00+00:00

I would’ve told them “did I ask for your opinion? It’s my body, I have every right to do what I want. You don’t control me. How would you like it if I told you your hair was gross or you needed more makeup?”

If I was the one who got written up for rightfully defending myself, I would probably be looking for a new job because why would I wanna work for them anyway?

Title	hypocrisy
Author	shakespeares--goatee
Upvotes	748
Comments	83
Date	February 28, 2021 8:19 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/lupegq/hypocrisy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/hypocrisy.1192036 https://theredarchive.com/post/1192036

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