There is this common belief, especially among progressive and feminist women, that traditional gender roles act as shackles on human behavior and expression, and when people are unburdened by these shackles the truest form of free expression will emerge. We just have to undue that awful “patriarchy”.

But the truth is - progressive expectations upon men and masculinity are just another set of shackles. Except this time the shackles are guiding a lot of men down a path which likely will lead to a lack of fulfillment. Discarding traditionally masculine traits because women and feminists have deemed them toxic or unhealthy and then expecting men to behave by these newer feminized standards are shackles in and of themselves.

Pretending men shouldn’t be assertive, shouldn’t find outlets for aggression, competition, or the high levels of energy young boys have. Pretending men should step aside, should not try to lead, should be more emotional and vulnerable, pretending men handle issues regarding depression and mental health like women do by talking to a therapist. Pretending men shouldn’t gain some resilience and be stoic in the face of adversity, etc. All of this nonsense are shackles in and of themselves and these ridiculous expectations can walk men right down the path to a life lacking in fulfillment.

Speaking for myself here - I have always found the most fulfillment in life by being on a contact sports team. High school football, college rugby, and now men’s league rugby. If it’s not on the field, it’s playing a team based competitive video game where men have to come together to overcome a competitor or a challenge. And if it’s none of that, it’s teaching other people my skills in my field of work. These are all little mini-recreations of what our ancestors did. They hunted together with other men, fought wars with other men, taught and guided other men, lead other men, gained respect through struggle with other men. An environment where people can come together, struggle together, and overcome challenges together. This is where myself and almost all men I talk to get their fulfillment - environments which are mini recreations of our ancestral past.

And guess which qualities you need in order to be successful in these environments? Assertiveness, emotional resilience, stoicism, leadership, a competitive spirit, high levels of energy, etc. The very qualities that the progressive shackles have deemed “problematic.” They’d rather put those shackles on you - a feminized version of masculinity, and then walk you right into a life which lacks fulfillment all the while telling you that this is what it means to be “free” and unrestrained by toxic patriarchal gender norms. They are full of shit and want to replace the old “shackles” with their newer and worse off shackles.