This Subreddit Is Ruining Me

thekarateguy · 2015-05-11T15:07:11+00:00

Well you gotta remember one very important thing: Selection bias.

We all know that the kinds of women who frequent feminist subs are typically the type with an axe to grind. And so it is with many on this sub too. Thus you will naturally find comments that swing harder to the extreme than you might in a community that was less...topic-specific. (This, incidentally, is why anytime I remark that I didn't get gutted in my divorce my comments are down voted and people say that I'm one of the rare lucky ones.)

And that's mostly fine. This is a place a lot of guys go to indirectly blow off steam about their ex. Or the corporate world. Or the courts. Etc. You, OP, just have to remember that, when you see remarks that trouble you, the population here is not the population as a whole and does not reflect all opinions held by men in totality.

Hyperlingual · 2015-05-11T15:31:40+00:00

Just answering from my own perspective, as a reader who hasn't read the comments much recently, I wouldn't say all women are misandrist. I'd definitely say a good portion of feminists are, and that women naturally tend toward hypergamy, but that doesn't mean they necessarily hate men. Just as well: women don't have too much empathy for men and boys or their issues. -Though I guess that can be said for society as a whole. The MRM has a wide demographic with no one single ideology or way of thinking about the issue. Most comments I saw were level headed, but like I said, I haven't been too active recently. Personally that's they way I look at it, and you should remember that you're not necessarily alone in it anyway. I'm sure there are many here who agree with you. Many people in the past have complained of too much radicalization.

As for yourself, maybe you just need a break. Go outside for a walk, enjoy some fresh air, play some videogames, do something else for a little bit. Even just go to some fun subreddits if you can. Internet stress or internet cynicism is something I've been seeing a lot recently. While the issues are serious, you shouldn't let yourself be absorbed by it. Your mental health is something you need to take seriously. Good luck.

victorymonk · 2015-05-11T15:39:00+00:00

In addition, to a common sense advice "if it bother you, take a break from reading it", I would like to add the following. Despite what feminists would say, both men and women are people. There are good people, there are bad people. And then there is also the way society operates, I'll call it THE SYSTEM.

So this subreddit is primarily about the system being somewhere between bad and broken. It is bad people who take advantage of the system at the expense of other people. Which is why there are many examples of women taking advantage of the system or men being failed by it.

That does NOT mean that women are inherently evil. It means that they are inherently people, doing the best out of what they have. And some have moral consideration, some lack. Here You are more likely to read about the latter.

Finally, now the main narrative is that they system oppresses women by men. Having all those stories about bad women shows (in a very non-nuanced way) that the picture is more nuanced.

To sum up: take a break. When you back don't see it about people whose biology is too slow to change. See it about the system, which can be changed.

GenderNeutralLanguag · 2015-05-11T16:18:16+00:00

If you have a very dualist, black and white, one or the other mind set this sub is a very bad place for you.

No overly broad generalized demographic can be properly labeled "Good" or "Bad". I mean trying to apply these labels to deeply to groups like NAZI, the KKK or the Bolshavics fails. The Nazi, while overwhelmingly "bad" did many "good" things.

There are topics that the MRM is trying to give voice to. One of these is the "Women are Wonderful" affect. Women are not all bad, but we do post a hugely disproportionate amount of stuff about women being bad because we are trying to dispute the idea that women are all good.

If you have a need to label either/or this sub is not good for your mental health because we are firmly rooted in the area between.

grasshopa · 2015-05-11T15:28:24+00:00

In all things, there must be balance. If you can't temper your opinions and feelings, regardless of input, then you need to disconnect.

The world is never so hopeless as many would like to believe. Folks get so wrapped up in their own petty lives that they fail to appreciate the options that are out there and what can be done with them.

Wargame4life · 2015-05-11T15:40:16+00:00

I think you need to leave, this forum is no different from a "product X problem page" and if you cant understand and appreciate the context it will just bum you out.

if you browsed a Brand X toaster forum and people just posted all the problems they were having and faults you would think Bran X toaster is not to be trusted or purchased.

but you are merely viewing the concentrated stream of errors, so it gives a false impression, its selection bias.

99.7% of brand X toasters could be excellent, but you have seen the 0.3% all in one sitting and so assume they must be crap.

context is eveything

TFCNU · 2015-05-11T15:44:36+00:00

The world is a shitty place but it's actually the best it has ever been in a lot of tangible ways. Life expectancy and standard of living is up worldwide. We've even made huge strides against AIDS in Africa. Information is readily and freely available and fits in your pocket. Humans are deeply flawed animals. So what? Take pleasure in the good things in life. It's important to understand how gender relations actually work so that it doesn't hit you like a freight train later. But understand, if women are misandric, if men are misogynistic, it isn't because they're evil. People can't help it and in the case of misandry, they don't even try because no one tells them it's wrong.

Shubrook · 2015-05-11T16:25:06+00:00

Information is food for the mind. To stay healthy, you need a balanced, moderated diet. If you feel that consuming one information source is making you sick, consume less.

No sense in making yourself another victim.

Blutarg · 2015-05-11T17:46:24+00:00

Why not take a break from reading things that disturb you? Have some time away, digest what you've read, mull it over, then come back if you want. There's no point in making yourself unhappy!

dingoperson2 · 2015-05-12T08:36:46+00:00

What makes me optimistic:

http://www.vox.com/2015/4/8/8372417/feminist-gender-equality-poll (there are better sources and polls, but this was the first I could find)

Only 18% of Americans call themselves feminist. And that's actually not half of women and no men - it's something like 20% of women and 16% of men.

At the same time, 85% believe in gender equality.

So there's a huge number of people out there who say "yes" to the question of gender equality but "no" to the question of feminism.

This takes some consciousness. It means that they have seen through the propaganda.

MRSPArchiver · 2015-05-11T14:51:09+00:00

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2015-05-11T15:28:14+00:00

I just stop listening when someone brings up misogyny. How can you prove you don't hate women to someone who just said you do? Just ignore people who use the term tbh. They always bring it up, and then the conversation is about "Is this misogyny or not" not the actual topic.

The truth about "Misogyny" is similar to the truth about "Creepy". "Creepy Misogynists" are men who are A) unattractive B) showing sexuality overtly. The same thing that is something a Creepy Misogynist would do, is not considered creepy or misogynistic if done by someone attractive and more socially competent. Both terms are just different types of shaming language. Let go of the shame. Women are shitty, men are shitty too. We're talking mostly about shitty women here, but we all fully agree men are full of shitty attributes too. We focus on shitty women because there is a cultural narrative of only men being shitty, and women being awesome. Bollocks.

aesopstortoise · 2015-05-11T15:25:36+00:00

Sounds like you need to detach yourself from here for a while, and then do something to balance out the negative feelings. Unplug, have some fun, get some exercise, watch kitten videos on YouTube. Treat your emotions a bit like how you would treat your body, when it hurts you protect it and rest it, you don't (hopefully) punish it for feeling pain.

Life has taught me that one of the most universal mistakes human beings make, is to over estimate the extent and accuracy of their knowledge, and then to take their mistaken conclusions too seriously. The majority of men and women do not hate each other. Anything that makes you think they do is better left alone until you can put it in a healthier perspective.

phengineer · 2015-05-11T23:27:24+00:00

My obsession with duality makes me think that if it is indeed true that women are naturally misandrist, than men must be naturally misogynist as well.

The science says that women have a much stronger in-group bias than men. It's not perfectly correlated with misandry, but it's a start.

DavidByron2 · 2015-05-12T17:06:47+00:00

are women naturally misandrist

You forgot the option of women being unnaturally misandrist. What do you expect? They've had a hate movement pouring hate into their heads since birth. You think that makes no difference to people?

TomwaIvory · 2015-05-11T15:37:10+00:00

We hate feminists here, any disdain towards women is toward the policies the abuse that harm men. Removing the policies removes the disdain for women, there is no way to remove our disdain for feminism.

Title	This Subreddit Is Ruining Me
Author	misterdoctorproff
Upvotes	1
Comments	29
Date	May 11, 2015 2:50 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/35lmzc/this_subreddit_is_ruining_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/this-subreddit-is-ruining-me.980595 https://theredarchive.com/post/980595

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