Why does the "stud" and "slut" double standard exist?

grasshopa · 2016-04-11T16:21:56+00:00

You've got a few flawed assumptions going on here;

1) Men are not allowed to cheat on their wives, where women are looked upon more favorably when they cheat on their husbands. Think about it; a man cheats and he's a pig. A woman cheats and people wonder what the husband did wrong.

2) Paternity doesn't have much to do with it because....

3) Men aren't the ones who slut-shame. Women are the ones who shame other women, typically speaking. They also participate in stud-promotion.

With that in mind, why would you think this perception exists?

bufedad · 2016-04-11T15:57:33+00:00

My honest opinion?

The human species has evolved to reproduce.

Men can reproduce with any number of women, and this is the drive for men.

Women can only reproduce a certain number of times, so the drive for women is to save her reproduction for the best possible mate.

Society's views follow these natural evolutionary drives.

Now, we have the ability for women to control their reproductive, however our evolutionary drives (and therefore society's views) have not caught up with this external change.

;TLDR

Both stud and slut align with evolutionary reproductive values.

Ultramegasaurus · 2016-04-11T16:14:12+00:00

Why does society consider men who have sex with multiple women something to be praised

This is a false premise. Most people view them as selfish, degenerate or abusive even. Studs are often told they "use" women. And they are very harshly affected by false rape accusations.

2016-04-11T16:17:19+00:00

IMO it's a canard. Women don't really look to highly on promiscuous men either. I've heard that used to shame as well.

Philanderer Womanizer Misogynist objectivifier of women

Not to mention stud is a word originally used to describe a farm animal - like bitch or cow.

colourful_opinion · 2016-04-11T16:43:17+00:00

I think you need to consider the possibility that your premise might be flawed from the outset. It seems you're simply accepting it as fact without testing it first. I suggest you do some digging into hidden camera group interview studies, because in those studies the introduction on a novel attractive female to the group starts a bevy of slurs and negative comments about her appearance and behaviours from ... her fellow women.

headingtoshore · 2016-04-11T17:42:05+00:00

Why does society consider men who have sex with multiple women something to be praised and women who have sex with multiple men something bad?

'Society' does not. Women do.

Studs are - by definition - attractive men. Men who women find attractive and who are thus able to enjoy romantic and sexual relations with many women. Women like these men.

Other less studly men, it may surprise you to learn, consider these men douches, assholes, etc.

"Sluts" are women who enjoy having sex with people, and create a lower than average barrier to sexual initiation than does the average woman. Women in general do not like sluts, because 'why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free'. No one likes the guy or girl who is giving away for free what they themselves are trying to sell.

Most men, it may surprise you to learn, quite like sluts.

Where is this 'society'? Society is simply the name given to 'girl world' the female echo chamber.

ExpendableOne · 2016-04-11T17:07:45+00:00

The reason you have this is two-fold. One, we live in a society that actively values(if not worships) female sexuality/approval/desire and devalues male sexuality/approval/desire completely. We also live in a society where women value men based on their general social/romantic value with other women, rather than on their own personal merits, and where most women have little to no tolerance for inexperience(and little to no aspiration to lead and teach other men).

This creates this paradigm where men are considered "studs" because their success is viewed as something that is generally very hard to obtain and because they are highly valued by women. Men are generally just as vilified for being promiscuous as women are, if not even more so(pig, chauvinist, player, selfish, user, predator, creep, etc), but women still actively reward and encourage these men(still putting value in those men, for all the wrong reasons) and men will still respect their accomplishments(succeeding with women in a way that most men would fail to).

Women are viewed as "sluts" by women as a means of culling the competition(about 80% of slut shaming tends to come from other women, if not simply for valuing male sexuality and devaluing female sexuality by freely loving men) and by men because men tend to value stability, loyalty, exclusivity and rarity in women and romantic experiences(and generally couldn't care less about what other men think of a woman).

The closest analogy I could imagine would be a group of people who have lived their entire lives in poverty(having no value) and a group of people who have lived their entire lives in wealth and power(having high value). When one of those poor people manages to earn the interest of those with all the power and wealth, and basically convince them that he is worth their time, attention and money(if not simply because he's maintained the illusion that other rich people value him), then people would call that person a success. If a rich person just decided to give away a lot of her wealth, to as many poor people as she could, she would be viewed as a traitor to the rich for basically breaking that monopoly and no one would really be considering her a "success" because giving away that wealth(or employing poor people) wouldn't really be viewed as a very difficult task in of itself(though, surely a lot of poor people would certainly appreciate her for it).

Inherently though, "slut shaming" has about as much to do with misandry and the way we value/judge men as a society, than it does about misogyny and how we judge women as a society.

Wargame4life · 2016-04-11T19:11:32+00:00

its not fucking rocket science, evolutionary biology wise a female's knows the child she is raising is hers, the father does not.

hence women who whore about are risky stock and make poor investments for men to sire children with, hence women who are "settle down, long term investment material" should rightly be non sexually promiscuous else you risk spending your time and resources on another agents genetic material like a chump.

FFXIV_Machinist · 2016-04-11T16:12:20+00:00

Slut came from an old english word that was generally used for "unclean" women, as in STD ridden women. it was common belief back then that Women were responsible for the spread of STD's, and it wasn't understood that males were also carriers and transmitters as well. later the word was attached to promiscuous women and prostitutes, which was to serve as a warning to people that the risk of STD's are high. Flash forward to modern day society, and the term has stuck to promiscuous women, and prostitutes, but does not carry the same "risk warning", and is instead used purely as an insult.

its plausible that this was initially carried over by religious types, simply because they frown on, or outright ban casual sex, and as a battle tactic, they labeled them "sluts" to ward off young men who didnt want to catch a disease. Now that contraception and antibiotics proliferate our society, the impacts of casual sex are largely inconsequential.

being a "stud" was only a very recent development in american society, that came in tandem with the relaxation, and decline of religious and conservative type mentalities. unfortunately while the pendulum took a quick swing towards the middle for men, women are still stuck back in unacceptable land.

so TL/DR: Slut is a meaningless word, and as religion continues to die, so will the word. go forth and diddle whomever thou desire to diddle.

Also fun fact: the reason the head of a males penis is Fluted, is to scrape out the semen of other males to ensure our semen has a higher chance. by our very nature our bodies are designed for orgies. By comparison, "Litter" animals like dogs and cats lack this feature, because they can successfully be impregnated by SEVERAL mates. all Single birth species share this "fluted" trait.

So yea- By our very nature- we are designed for multiple partners.

Pornography_saves_li · 2016-04-11T17:37:21+00:00

Here is a more in depth answer than i believe you were expecting:

https://therationalmale.com/category/operative-social-conventions/

The term “cuckoldry” isn’t strictly confined to duplicitous women duping husbands/boyfriends into believing the kid is theirs when it’s some other guy’s. Consider the marked increase in single motherhood since the Sexual Revolution; the statistic for abortion, the declining marriage rate and the fact that now, in westernized society, and the majority of births (close to 60%) are born to unwed mothers.

Now consider the social imperatives and zeitgeist of the past 70 years that promote women’s Hypergamous choices to the point that every woman’s sexual strategy and breeding choices are legislatively mandated to be supported. Men are mandated to support women’s breeding imperatives both directly and indirectly. Is that not the end purpose of cuckoldry?

Rasalom72 · 2016-04-11T17:30:35+00:00

Just remember this: A key that opens many locks is a very valuable key. A lock that can be opened by many keys is a very poor lock.

AtemAndrew · 2016-04-11T16:19:35+00:00

Because we don't call a female horse a breeding slut?

redditorriot · 2016-04-11T17:23:13+00:00

Something similar came up earlier, link here:

https://np.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/4e5qrb/the_presence_of_boys_in_schools_makes_girls_feel/d1x8oe0

Study on various slut-shaming things.

deez_nuts_730 · 2016-04-11T18:27:54+00:00

It is a lot harder to be a stud than it is to be a slut. Evidence of this point is the recently circulated meme that a mother vehemently attacked her son for posting.

x-system · 2016-04-11T18:35:47+00:00

Perhaps because it is much harder for any given man to have sex with multiple women over a short period than the other way around. I would surmise it's the same reason we admire Albert Eistein more than Jim Javier.

qemist · 2016-04-12T03:14:06+00:00

Because doing difficult things is seen as more praiseworthy than doing easy things.

x-system · 2016-04-11T18:37:55+00:00

There is also an old adage.

A key that opens many locks is a great key. A lock that can be opened by many keys is a terrible lock.

balifore · 2016-04-11T18:48:34+00:00

One is easy, one is hard

badum-tish

njskypilot · 2016-04-11T20:01:24+00:00

My view is this construct of stud v. slut really only exists in High School. After High School the stud/slut dynamic really diminishes.