Does social media actually "validate" you?

Maybelowsmv · 2019-02-03T01:18:51+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Salty-Bastard · 2019-02-03T00:52:16+00:00

Are you a guy?

WestsideMoonWalker · 2019-02-03T01:23:58+00:00

I legitimately almost never use social media except as a way to message my friends, pretty much. Pretty sure I haven't updated my profile pic on facebook since about a year and a half ago. Neither has my SO.

It doesn't factor into my confidence because it's not something I engage with in that type of way, since the only site I use extensively is reddit, which I mainly use to find content.

Ok, I guess you can say people liking my fluffy cat is validating, but I just want to share her with the world because she has so much love to give.

crackrocksteady7 · 2019-02-03T01:04:52+00:00

Does social media boost your confidence? Or lower it?

depends if people like my shit. What incels mean when they say "i dont have social media it's stupid" is "I never make any kind of content people like to see".

Things people want to see: https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.15752-9/s2048x2048/51048605_298869154312052_6558534907759427584_n.jpg?_nc_cat=106&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=f5cf3e2b4e9d778c4a2c429fb7f1d1b6&oe=5CF9C2DB

Things people dont want to see: your wack depression memes

Are the arguments that women are ego-filled due to social media alone real?

yes. skilled athletes etc are on par with moderately above average 20s girls in terms of views etc

RightfullySqualid · 2019-02-03T02:28:38+00:00

I think it lowers it. Specially for women, social media most of the time has a net negative effect. Even if you're instagram famous or whatever, being there, and constantly comparing yourself is in fact a bad thing that's affecting women's mental health. Look up the work of Jonathan Heidt.

Viralimpulse · 2019-02-03T00:59:03+00:00

there is a study that said women gained self esteem boosts from tinder matches so i don't doubt it. https://hellogiggles.com/news/men-women-use-tinder-for-different-reasons/ https://www.yourtango.com/2018309530/why-tinder-good-self-esteem-ego https://www.huffingtonpost.co.za/2018/05/24/women-on-dating-apps-mainly-for-confidence-boost-not-love-study_a_23442286/

also this tweet https://puu.sh/CGoCY/b448c3b7fe.png

wokein · 2019-02-03T01:00:38+00:00

I don't think it's real validation, it just fills a void.

yasee · 2019-02-03T01:12:39+00:00

I don't post selfies but I still find social media kind of validating. Like I'll post if I do something or go someplace or see something cool/weird, and when people like or comment it feels nice to have shared something that people find interesting. Plus it's a way of connecting to people, especially friends and family who don't live close

Pope_Lucious · 2019-02-03T02:13:46+00:00

Average women get toooooons of attention on social media.

One of my plain looking exes constantly had randos sliding in her DMs with weird propositions and dick pics.

One rando led with “I’d get you so pregnant”

ThisIsJustATr1bute · 2019-02-03T02:21:29+00:00

It validates you in the way that eating a whole thing of sour patch kids at the movies feels really fun, for a second.

If all you did was eat sour patch kids and watch movies, you’d be empty spiritually, and malnourished. Doesn’t mean people still don’t eat candy at the movies.

philomexa · 2019-02-03T02:33:00+00:00

I'm validated when people like my creative work that I post on social media. I much prefer that people don't know what I look like so it doesn't influence appreciation for my work. With that said, my insta has zero pictures of me asides from a head shot, and my facebook is the only account with regular photos of me. On FB the only likes I'm getting are obligatory from family and friends. Funny enough, the lack of selfies my insta still hasnt dissuaded thirst mongers from hitting up my DMs. 🙄

Maaaaate · 2019-02-03T05:04:05+00:00

Social media absolutely validates you. I don't use it, although I have instagram and facebook accounts just to see what my friends are up to.

I'm Australian, and people don't generally have that many followers unless they are into photography or "modelling". I've seen random US college girls and guys with 1,000s of followers, sometimes 10k+, and they talk to their followers as if they are fans.

passepar2t · 2019-02-03T08:12:58+00:00

Social media is a mental health catastrophe. Everyone knows this but can't stop.

DebatePony · 2019-02-03T16:10:54+00:00

The only social media I have is for my dog. And he gets lots of likes because he's a good boy. But he doesn't post often, it's hard to with his paws.

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decoy88 · 2019-02-03T08:21:37+00:00

It's about as validating as any dopamine hit can be, and doesn't last for very long.

Younger people and especially teenagers are way more affected by it. I kinda feel sorry for the teenagers today

ICantQuitReddit2 · 2019-02-03T11:16:33+00:00

I don't think most women become ego filled from it even if it happens. I do think a good chunk attempts to feel validated by seeking validation, but the feeling doesn't end up happening. It's like an addict chasing a high but getting diminishing returns.

I think they get a lot of validation but just ignore it, Don't believe it or brush it off. At least girls/young women.The standard for needing to br validated becomes too high. The amount of girls insecure about their looks despite tons of dudes their validation irl and online is insane. To the point it kind of makes dudes like me who don't really get to see a girl actually be attracted to them kinda salty.

goatismycopilot · 2019-02-03T12:52:36+00:00

Social media does not validate me, I don't get anything out of it personally. Why would I care if random people I either do not know or casually see once in a while like a picture. But apparently many, many, people disagree with me. Guess I am some giant weirdo but I am validated when people want to spend actual time with me in the flesh everything else is okay but provides me with very little emotional connection or meaning.

MercedesBenzoAMG · 2019-02-03T14:18:13+00:00

I used to feel validated by Tumblr when I was 16-18, before it was home of the SJWs, and when my Doctor Who fan blog had 2.5k followers 99% of which were cute girls and some of whom even declared themselves my fangirls. I met up with three girls like this and banged them. Would have been more if it wasn't for geography (most lived in the US).

I'd say that helped me a lot because I was an awkward kid and no one paid me attention at school. Having literally thousands of girls follow me and message me online was a nice feeling. And it gave me more confidence IRL too especially once I turned 18 and went to university. I found it easy to get laid at that point.

But even though this was only 6-7 or so years ago, social media has changed a lot in that timeframe. I don't think I could repeat that with the same result today. The internet used to be occupied mostly by nerds, so any girl open to meeting guys online was nerdy too. Now it's saturated with normies it's a different game entirely.

These days, unless you count Reddit as social media, I don't really use any of it. I use Snapchat on occasion. I have Instagram mostly to follow shit I like, the only time I really post is when I spot a cool car. And that's it. I don't use FB, Tinder, etc and I don't try to "slide into DMs" or whatever.

And I think those who do look for social media to validate them are trying to fill a void, that's for sure, and they'd be better off trying to fill it by improving their real lives than trying to get likes on their selfies.

You'll notice when I used Tumblr I got validation from actually meeting people on there, it wasn't about getting likes it was using the internet as a platform that lead to real world interaction. I think that's very different from what you see today with the type of people who post ten selfies a day for likes.

Wrt Tinder specifically I did use it for a bit and got 5 matches a day on average but none resulted in meetings so I gave up, too much effort for too little gain. Same with Okcupid.

TyroneTheDriver · 2019-02-03T16:58:59+00:00

Most women are not going to honestly respond to this post and tell you about the time that they saw their current mans ex girlfriend look at one of their pictures and honestly tell you how good it made them feel.

The obvious answer is yes, women do get tons of validation from social media outlets. Is it every woman? No. Is it the majority of women? Maybe.

The problem is that it leads to an inflated sense of self worth and a lack of communicable skills when someone, male or female, relies too much on the attentions of people over the internet to validate their looks, personality, fashion choices, etc, since we need to be able to talk face to face in the real world to live in it. This inflated ego exists in a separate "universe", but impacts the real persons ego in the physical world we all actually live and breathe in, leading to a real world sense of entitlement, often to the detriment of the person with the inflated ego and the people around them.

Truedemocracy4 · 2019-02-03T18:05:20+00:00

I’m a dude and love validation from dating apps. Hundreds of attractive women matching with you that I have no intention of ever going on a date with? Awesome

quasirealikecreature · 2019-02-04T14:23:48+00:00

It really only validates my opinion that I'm funny as fuck.

That's a view I've always had and I've always laughed at my own jokes though.

verticordia · 2019-02-03T01:39:34+00:00

Not really. I hate it when random thirsty men message me or like my pictures. I like validation from cool people, men or women. I don't feel validated when a bunch of dudes message me after posting a cute pic... like I know I'm cute. But I do like getting a bunch of likes because it's good for engagements. I use social media to make money, not for imaginary validation or for male attention. I'm actually trying to find a way to get more female followers, as they're more likely to raise engagements, purchase products etc.

Title	Does social media actually "validate" you?
Author	Maybelowsmv
Upvotes	3
Comments	65
Date	February 3, 2019 12:50 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/amkip9/does_social_media_actually_validate_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-social-media-actually-validate-you.257476 https://theredarchive.com/post/257476

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