Does the average man inspire soft/passive dread in his gf/wife?

storffish · 2018-06-24T14:10:20+00:00

I'd imagine depends if she's feeling all in love with him or tired of his shit and if she's a jealous person or not. how he works a room and how he treats her is going to matter much more than how he looks unless there's been a drastic change in appearance... to say otherwise is male projection.

but really I can't imagine living with the magnitude of insecurity where someone complimenting my relationship made me dread them taking my woman, but then I'm not a chick. a person like that is probably going to struggle to have a relationship that lasts any significant amount of time before its eaten alive by said jealousy and insecurities, so I'd hesitate to call them "normal."

I also wouldn't take a chick saying "you're so lucky to have found such a good husband" as a sign that she desires that guy. that's like the married woman-to-woman equivalent of "you'll make a great husband for someone someday, I hope you find a girl who deserves you" or "you're like a brother to me." it's a platitude. if a chick had even the slightest iota of interest in taking another woman's husband she wouldn't be telling her about it.

Willow-girl · 2018-06-24T15:21:02+00:00

I think it is normal to feel good about someone paying your spouse a compliment. After all, it's a roundabout compliment to you, too, as you obviously had the good sense to wife/husband up such a splendid specimen! That's normal and non-autistic, lol.

Where it gets weird is when the MRPers/TRPers try to warp it into making women think, "OMG, my man is so hot that if I don't give him nonstop BJs and anal right away, he'll cheat on me!" And that's just silly. I have never felt that way and I haven't heard other women express that sentiment, either.

Think about it from an evolutionary perspective. It makes sense that women would put a high premium on loyalty, because it would not be optimal to breed with a man who either didn't stick around or diverted some his resources to other women and their children. It seems natural that women would be wary of 'players.' And because women naturally expect loyalty from their men, I think they're generally oblivious to non-blatant examples that their husbands may be straying, or thinking of straying -- hence the old saying, "The wife is always the last to know."

I'll add that men also tend to enforce loyalty within their own ranks, via things like alimony and child support laws, because without them, society at large ends up picking up the tab for abandoned wives and children. I've heard men say that in the business world, men who remain perennial bachelors are often treated with a bit of suspicion and may not advance in their careers as rapidly as 'solid family men.' This is probably a case of those old prejudices, encoded in our DNA, playing out.

goatismycopilot · 2018-06-24T15:16:41+00:00

Probably not.

Eartherry · 2018-06-24T15:59:45+00:00

"Passive dread?" Isn't this just another way to say insecure? I do find that men are much more insecure about losing an SO and interpret that as loyalty, but no, he's obviously got abandonment issues and is using his gf/wife to keep from dealing with it. Real attractive.

Workaholico · 2018-06-24T14:08:46+00:00

I don't perceive any behavior you can describe as these dreads in men I know, but I am in another culture so that may be it.

wtknight · 2018-06-24T15:58:53+00:00

The average man ...the 5' 9'' ,dad bod, graphic tee/cargo pants wearing , minimally groomed , beer gut, sports watching man.

Probably not, but if he has any qualities above this average, then he has the potential to inspire passive dread since he is above average in some way. I suppose an average man might if a woman has a lot of friends who have bad relationships or who have problems finding and maintaining relationships, though.

AutoModerator · 2018-06-24T13:50:49+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

DerelictCruiser · 2018-06-24T20:25:51+00:00

I mean, what's his income like?

newName543456 · 2018-06-24T22:31:50+00:00

Nope, only highly attractive ones.

rainisthelife · 2018-06-24T22:36:28+00:00

How are women “usually” instilling passive dread in their bfs or husbands?

rainisthelife · 2018-06-24T23:05:05+00:00

A man (specifically one that has committed you) exhibiting passive dread actually doesn’t even sound so bad. As long as he’s not doing it on purpose to manipulate. Actually it’s even hotter when he doesn’t know how hot and sexy he is. Him working out regularly and dressing well with confidence to maintain my attraction to him, is actually kinda flattering. He’s communicating that I’m worth all of that effort. And I get to walk around with eye candy that’s not only fun to fuck, but also fun to show off.

It’s the one that actively dreads you that needs to be sent to Dumpsville.

wolven_x23 · 2018-06-25T23:43:41+00:00

No. He's gotta be attractive to inspire anything really. Most men don't register on my radar.

So I don't see it as likely to any average men inspires any "Dread"

sadomasochrist · 2018-06-24T14:33:25+00:00

The average man is unattractive. This is just insecurity with aging and kids which increases trading costs and lowers her market value.

This happens to men too.

Kind of a reach IMO but still a thing, just doesn't need it's own jargon.

Aaren_Augustine · 2018-06-24T14:35:40+00:00

Passive dread is a normal thing in relationships but usually it's coming from the one who isn't in charge.

Since I started with MRP it's clear when these things happen. A coworker will complain about not having a husband. I'll either be there when it happens or not but she'll bring it up later when we talk; you can see the gears turning.

The average man ...the 5' 9'' ,dad bod, graphic tee/cargo pants wearing , minimally groomed , beer gut, sports watching man.

You misunderstand dread. Its there because desire ISN'T there. Dread is perceived restriction of security that beta bux MIGHT take away.

Title	Does the average man inspire soft/passive dread in his gf/wife?
Author	Pretty_Please_C_My_V
Upvotes	4
Comments	64
Date	June 24, 2018 1:50 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/8thwte/does_the_average_man_inspire_softpassive_dread_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-the-average-man-inspire-softpassive-dread-in.261794 https://theredarchive.com/post/261794

Comments