How To Be Useful To A Man?

JonMyMon · 2025-09-13T01:55:14+00:00

I'm not trying to be rude but the first step might be to stop overthinking everything to this degree. Definitely don't let this manifest as neuroticism and infect the relationship.

In addition to the things you listed, men generally like women they have things in common with. Talk to them with humanity. Don't sweat the small stuff. Be honest. We want a best friend that we get to have sex with. We're really that simple.

TopShelfSnipes · 2025-09-13T05:05:19+00:00

This is a very ND approach to dating. If you are ND, I sympathize, but you need to understand this isn't going to be something you can formulaically achieve with "all men."

If you want to be attractive to a PARTICULAR man in the sense you want a relationship, here is what you need to be to HIM:

Attractive
Want the same things in life, including lifestyle
Be reasonably to attain those joint things together with your contributions, whatever they may be.
Be a value-add to his life for the things he wants to pursue individually (which you don't need to share with him, but which you should support). You should also be screening that he is a value-add for your individual goals. Neither your nor his individual goals should conflict with the joint goals in #3.
Both enjoy each others' personality and never run out of things to talk about.
Be both willing and able to show affection for him in the ways that are compatible with his love languages.
Be kind/nonjudgmental/respectful to him in public. Men hate looking stupid in public because of something their gf/woman does, particularly if it's disrespect, just as you'd hate if your bf disrespected or embarrased you in front of, say, all your friends.
Be willing to support and encourage him in his hobbies, and at least occasionally participate in them as an observer.

So, to answer your question, the best "skills" are things that matter to him. Personally, I've always loved athletic women. My wife is a dancer, and she's willing to ice skate and hike with me. Huge turn-on. In college, I dated a girl where our first date was (unofficially) having a catch. To someone who hates sports, that won't matter.

Generally, most men want someone who is fiscally responsible, and if he's an adventurous eater, he'll appreciate a good cook. If a guy wants a woman he deems feminine, she should have a sweet/nurturing side. I don't think the last one is necessarily a "skill" though, more just how your overall demeanor is.

You don't "insert" yourself into a man's life though. You have to put yourself in situations where you will meet men naturally and build that connection, letting attraction and curiosity and vibing build those bridges. Women who attempt to "insert" themselves into guys' lives come across as clingy and dependent, and the best men are not looking for someone like that.

Do not ask about a man's work and income unless you want to be seen as a gold digger. I'm long since off the market, but any woman who brought up income in the early stages of dating/a relationship was an automatic nope. I'm not discussing money with you if we can't even go do something and have fun.

Date like a teenager. It's more fun. Job interviews suck, don't bring that mindset to dating.

WanabeInflatable · 2025-09-13T06:56:20+00:00

Maybe your universe shouldn't be spinning around man? The more needy, clinged and obsessed you are, the more repulsive you are. You are not keeping him by devoting your entire life to serving him.

Ultramega39 · 2025-09-13T02:41:55+00:00

It's kinda hard to accurately plan that far ahead in terms of relationship dynamics if you don't have a specific man that you are interested in.

But it's important to keep in mind that some effort is better than no effort and comparing yourself to other women is pointless.

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Logical_Breadfruit49 · 2025-09-13T05:22:36+00:00

I feel like this post is more suited for RPW than for PPD.

Orion is also probably not the best resource for RPW or wifemaxxing related issues, he specializes in intersexual dynamics not so much in how to wifemaxx.

Ego73 · 2025-09-13T06:31:10+00:00

Good sex is probably the only major skill here. The other ones like cooking might be important insofar as they show a part of your life and hobbies (that is, it shows you're willing to learn how to make an elaborate meal, classic cost signalling), which might also be useful to find common points of interest with the man you like. If he also likes cooking, that's a great opportunity to invite him to cook together, which requires a degree of good communication.

My point here is that being good at sex will also involve those same communication skills. You will be doing a shared activity that is meant to be mutually enjoyable, and that requires chemistry. By showing off your other skills and hobbies, you're also revealing what he can expect from you during sex, as both are an expression of what Heidegger meant by techne.

Psykotyrant · 2025-09-13T11:33:35+00:00

Why do you bother? Men are on the way out anyway. You’d be better off cultivating skills for you and you yourself. Besides, men today have such insanely low standards, you’d need to actively push them back.

Intelligent-Insight · 2025-09-15T18:30:38+00:00

Bring a third girl regularly.

CerealExprmntz · 2025-09-16T17:02:54+00:00

You ever think that these men just want to be treated like human beings?

Colt_Master · 2025-09-13T07:34:46+00:00

Your desperate pickme approach is likely leading you nowhere.

Stop trying to win over men who self admittedly don't care about women's attributes apart from their attractiveness through attributes that aren't attractiveness, it won't work. If you don't fit what they self admittedly want, just move on.

The way you "insert yourself into a man's life" or "achieve direct access to him" is through invitation and consent. You're free to put yourself in proximity of men you want and flirt with them in order to start dating, but it stops there. If a man expresses no desire to have you in their life, attempting to chase him past that point is leading nowhere.

"Be useful without intruding": you should have no interest in 'being useful' to men you aren't already in a relationship with, at most only advertise yourself as so. During the dating stage you can give each other reciprocal acts of service on a case by case basis, not go out of your way to shower him with one-sided "usefulness" hoping that will make up his mind about you, even going as far as intruding in order to be useful to him. Also, communication is easy in the age of technology and there should be no reason to gift someone surprise dinner you don't know if they want.

As another post says you also seemingly have a very autistic approach to dating, in such a way that "hot+useful=wife", not taking into account how personal chemistry affects things.

There's more stuff I could write but as a summary I recommend you to check out r/redpillwomen and r/femaledatingstrategy together with their sidebar material. Not necessarily to absorb everything you read on those subs uncritically, but simply to take the existence of those viewpoints into account and to see how you can get what you want in dating as a woman in other ways than "proving yourself useful to your high value man".

throwaway73737828 · 2025-09-13T08:20:46+00:00

I guess usefulness is not a huge deal for marriage tbh. But what he means by usefulness is, for example, if he has properties of rent. You can deal with that part, you can check on his clients and get the money for example. Or maybe there is a logistics stuff he has to deal with. You can drive the car and do the logistics job for him instead. Stuff like this.

But you dont need to do all of this, you can just do simple shit like, cleaning or laundry. Just dont be someone who sits on the couch all day scrolling tiktok and denying sex all the time. While he earns money and does everything.

The most important part to secure a man is do something even if its small, hide your past at all costs if you slept with a lot of men and if he asks how are you so good at sex, just say I read books. Also never deepthroat him when you first meet him, you can do it after you slept around like 15 times. Also dont be a pain in the ass, dont shout a lot, dont make his life harder, dont argue a lot, dont disrespect him all the time. Thats it. Also nothing guarantees commitment, you can do the right things but it may not result in success, if it doesn’t just keep going, date till you find a good match and in the end the guy you like will commit to you. but this is the right formula for commitment, which is the highest probability for you to get commitment.

Ragazzocolbass8 · 2025-09-13T08:31:33+00:00

Be attractive and younger than him

don't be annoying or confrontational

Be loyal

Quit social media

Daily blowjobs

The perfect woman right there.

Title	How To Be Useful To A Man?
Author	Good-Preparation-811
Upvotes	1
Comments	58
Date	September 12, 2025 8:58 AM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ney4rq/how_to_be_useful_to_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-to-be-useful-to-a-man.1561865 https://theredarchive.com/post/1561865

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