I thought this might help us start a better conversation on the subject, because there's a lot of misinformation posted on /r/theredpill and PPD.

Women aren't nearly as shy as advertised.

One of Perper’s most astonishing discoveries was that in two thirds of cases it was women who had actually begun the pick-ups. They were fully aware of what they were doing, too. Interviewed afterwards, they admitted having coaxed a potential lover into conversation, touched him and enticed him with coquettish looks, questions, compliments and jokes.

Just because it's subtle, doesn't mean it's not effective. Most men respond appropriately, and if you don't know how, that's why you think men are facing a minefield. Because -

in truth, women have become blatant. In 2012, 65 per cent of more than 5,000 men reported they had been asked out by a woman. Interestingly, 92 per cent of the men were comfortable with this.

Internet and smartphone use has added even more come-hither moves to a woman’s repertoire. In my 2013 survey of singles, 40 per cent of women said they had sent a sexually explicit text or email. More than 35 per cent admitted they had sent a sexy photo.

Meanwhile, 62 per cent of men said that they had received a ‘sexually vivid’ written message from a woman.

So what happens after the man has responded to the woman’s overtures? Well, as one woman told researcher Timothy Perper: ‘At some point, the man should get the hint and take it from there.’

The oddest claim is that only women offer up IOIs. Both sexes do it.

Just in case anyone's still not sure, see if you can observe any of these behaviors out in the wild.

Men, like baboons, inject a swagger into their walk. Then they tend to pitch and roll their shoulders, stretch, stand tall and shift from foot to foot in a swaying motion.

Their body movements become exaggerated: instead of using the wrist to stir a drink, they will often employ the entire arm.

If they are with friends, they laugh heartily; loud enough to attract the attention of the woman. And, like males of many species, they pat their hair, tug their chins or clasp other parts of their bodies.

All of these signals can be reduced to one basic message: ‘I’m here, I’m important and I’m harmless.’

Women begin the attention-getting phase by smiling, gazing, shifting, swaying, preening, stretching and perhaps moving into the man’s territory.

They will often incorporate feminine moves — they twist their curls, tilt their heads, look up coyly, giggle, raise their brows, flick their tongues, lick their upper lips and, occasionally, hide their faces.

Some women also have a walk when courting; they arch their backs, thrust out their breasts, sway their hips and strut (high heels exaggerate this pose). With all this, they are signalling: ‘I’m here and I’m approachable.’

Everyone got that?

Stage two is ‘recognition’, when eyes meet. One of the pair will acknowledge the other with a smile or slight body shift, and he or she will move within talking range. That is nowhere near as risky as the next major escalation point, stage three: talking.

This idle conversation, known as ‘grooming talk’, is distinctive, because voices often become higher, softer and more sing-songy; the same tones used to express affection to children or concern for those in need of care.

Please be aware that it doesn't necessarily mean the recipient is a broken child.

What you say matters far less than how you say it. A high-pitched, gentle, mellifluous ‘hello’ is often a sign of sexual interest, whereas a clipped, low, matter-of-fact ‘hi’ will rarely lead to love.

Advanced students will have already observed that this is far too simplistic. But for now, we're just sticking to helping the beginners - they need experience before they're ready to develop the skills and instincts of jaded hedenists.

Talking is dangerous for an important reason — you are instantly revealing a great deal about your background, education and self-confidence; all of which can either attract or repel a potential mate within moments.

You are also exposing your teeth, which will betray much about your age and state of health. Many potential romances end right then and there. The couples who weather those first verbal encounters, however, move on to stage four: touch.

That's right. We're getting G rated in here. Those of you with sensitive dispositions might want to prepare yourselves.

This starts with what we call ‘intention cues’ — leaning forward, resting an arm near the other person’s on the table, moving your foot closer if you’re standing.

Then comes the climax: one person touches the other on the shoulder, the forearm, the wrist or some other relatively unsexual part of the body.

Normally, it’s the woman who touches first, grazing her hand along her suitor’s body in a faux-casual manner. This may look insignificant, but she could well be lighting a fire because skin is like a field of grass, with each blade a nerve ending so sensitive the slightest graze etches a memory of that moment into the brain.

If he flinches, it’s over. If he withdraws, even slightly, the woman may never try to touch him again. But if he leans towards her, smiles or returns the gesture with a deliberate touch, they have surmounted a major barrier.

If you're a flincher, apologize, and explain why. It's not always a deal breaker - this is the stage of exploring what the touch does for you, and a flinch doesn't exactly scream "Take me now." to non-sociopaths.

Now they will continue to talk and touch — tilting, gazing, smiling, swaying, flirting — until they achieve the last stage of the courtship ritual: body synchrony.

As they become more comfortable with each other, they swivel until their shoulders become aligned and their bodies are face-to-face. After a while, they will begin to move in tandem — when he lifts his drink, she lifts hers; when he crosses his legs, she crosses hers; when he smoothes his hair, she smoothes hers.

They are now moving in perfect rhythm as they gaze deeply into each other’s eyes.

They may not know it, but they have just replicated the behaviour of animals all over the globe. From bears to beetles, courting couples perform rhythmic rituals to express their intentions.

And in the case of humans who reach total body synchrony, they often leave the bar together.

So, yeah. If you have no clue what to do, just follow their lead. It really is that simple.

Rules are changing: indeed, most of us are confused about who should pay, but if the man is courting, he still generally foots the bill; if he does, a woman instinctively knows her companion is wooing her.

Another male IOI.

Lying

A depressingly common IOI for both sexes.

That’s why lying about your weight on an online dating form can help to widen the field of online potential suitors. As Mae West said: ‘It’s better to be looked over than overlooked.’

When you meet, there are other qualities that can be more seductive than height or perfect proportions — intelligence, playfulness, creativity and humour.

Those who lack these traits insist they don't matter. It's best to ignore them.

In the end, hardly anyone is excluded from the human mating dance — it is nature’s way of continuing the human race.