Is it generally obvious when a guy is attracted to you?

EulenWatcher · 2023-12-14T21:01:32+00:00

It depends on a person. Some are very obvious and it probably correlates with one's openness and how well they get on with others, some can be very...offstandish and you wouldn't guess it in hundred years.

I was oblivious as a teen, so I got into some unpleasant situations and now I'm more mindful about it or at least try to be. When I look back, I think it was pretty obvious that these situations would eventually lead to some awkward (once even dangerous) moments, but I have more experience now and better self-esteem.

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-12-14T21:25:42+00:00

With some men, yes, with others no, it depends.

I have found out years later a few guys apparently had crushes on me for awhile and I was kinda floored. These were men that were standoffish and argumentative with me most of the time.

AngeCruelle · 2023-12-14T21:57:51+00:00

Nope, notoriously bad at reading that. Perhaps the fact that I didn't go to high school with boys has something to do with it.

It's usually friends or relatives who tell me "hey he totally likes you" and I have to decide what to do from there.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-12-14T22:37:15+00:00

Either they're very secret about it or it just isn't happening. The men I know tend to just be awkward around their crushes if they're not ready to say yet, but it's hard to tell unless you're very clued into their normal behaviour. I'm about as obvious as it gets - as soon as I know myself, I just tell them, unless that would be a bad idea in which case I suppress it in such a way that nobody has ever guessed or been told.

sweetestpineapple · 2023-12-14T23:12:53+00:00

I’m not good at picking up on signals irl unless I’m very clearly being hit on/approached, which happens like 1-3 times a year. I’ve met enough people with “flirty” personalities which makes it hard to tell if someone is actually into me or just extroverted. Most of my relationships have started through social media or dating apps where I didn’t know the guy before meeting him on there or I had no idea he was attracted to me beforehand.

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GlitterAndFireballs · 2023-12-14T21:16:24+00:00

In general, I’m very oblivious.

Anything short of extreme directness will go way over my head.

Edit: fixed spelling error.

Fauxmannequin · 2023-12-14T21:22:51+00:00

I feel like I know pretty well when a man is interested in me or not. It’s signals from other women that I’m likely to miss lol.

I do think that men are more likely to miss any signs or hints, but I wouldn’t say they’re much worse or anything. Just sometimes more cautious if that makes sense.

sublimemongrel · 2023-12-14T22:23:03+00:00

For me, yes.

MistyMaisel · 2023-12-15T02:03:56+00:00

It is to me now, it wasn't when I was a younger woman.

And, no, but I'm fairly blunt when I like a guy.

I have often been floored to learn various men had crushes on me or by confessions of feelings. Especially from men who I really thought hated my guts because they were so standoffish, cold, or argumentative or outright felt mean and critical.

KissCutMe · 2023-12-15T02:15:36+00:00

Most of the time, I can’t tell. Now and then a guy does something I’ve seen on tv or something and I recognize that as flirting.. but for the most part, that’s all subtle social interaction shit and I don’t pick up on it until it’s too late lol

Safinated · 2023-12-14T22:18:48+00:00

Generally, but there are nasty little surprises all the time

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2023-12-15T02:28:08+00:00

Every single time, yes.

And I don’t give signals. If I’m interested, I openly flirt or ask men to do some activity with me.

Planthoe30 · 2023-12-15T04:32:03+00:00

Yeah but sometimes it went over my head.

87AudreyHorne · 2023-12-15T09:09:53+00:00

Pretty much though often there are these gray zones where a guy just seems really interested in hanging out with you and you just decide to play it off as normal as it would be weird to treat it as something more, but you also on some level know it usually is. It's tough to navigate.

Mentathiel · 2023-12-17T12:54:01+00:00

As I get older, it's easier to tell. It's easier to tell for guys that I like back because I pay more attention. It's harder to tell for friends that develop a crush on me later in the friendship bc we already have an established dynamic and it's harder to flirt if you already have a platonic relationship that a lot of that can be interpreted as.

I've never had a guy I like ask me out without me anticipating it.

I've had guys I don't like ask me out without figuring it out beforehand. It usually makes sense in retrospect, I would've figured it out if I thought about it or was asked, I just don't think about it. Sometimes I know before, but it happens that I don't too.

I have never expected a close friend confession, I never notice it. And it happened 4 times so far lol.

Title	Is it generally obvious when a guy is attracted to you?
Author	OtPayOkerSmay
Upvotes	10
Comments	25
Date	December 14, 2023 8:11 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18ihh0z/is_it_generally_obvious_when_a_guy_is_attracted/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-it-generally-obvious-when-a-guy-is-attracted-to.1240770 https://theredarchive.com/post/1240770

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