~ archived since 2018 ~

Is it wrong to leave men once you start feeling like the male in the relationship or a motherly figure?

pinkdolphin224 · 2023-11-09T13:58:31+00:00

I started seeing a guy 3 months ago and Im starting to realize this is another one of those relationship dynamics where Im the one feeling like the man of the...

pinkdolphin224

November 9, 2023

4 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	Is it wrong to leave men once you start feeling like the male in the relationship or a motherly figure?
Author	pinkdolphin224
Upvotes	4
Comments	76
Date	November 9, 2023 1:58 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17rditb/is_it_wrong_to_leave_men_once_you_start_feeling/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-it-wrong-to-leave-men-once-you-start-feeling.1237884 https://theredarchive.com/post/1237884

Comments

[–]penndelnjPurple Pill Woman [score hidden] 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]WilliamWyattDPurple Pill Man [score hidden] 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]pinkdolphin224[S] [score hidden] 2 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link

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[–]marshmallow_fluffe [score hidden] 2 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]JustMoreSadGirlShit1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]AFuzzyMuffin1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]JustMoreSadGirlShit1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]AFuzzyMuffin1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]JustMoreSadGirlShit1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Sure! When we got together I didn’t want kids, guess whose biological clock is ticking now? When certain events lead to him and my mom squabbling, I was ok with that and said “oh we’ll just do separate holidays with our individual families, that’s fine!”, well after a few years of that it’s less fine. We went through addiction and recovery together, should be self explanatory. When me and his mom got into it, I wasn’t mad that he wanted to stay out of it (at the time), then it became one of the biggest problems I had, with time. When I pursued more than an entry level job and he had every excuse under the sun to not do more, I was ok with carrying the financial burden. But then I was carrying the financial burden, and doing all of the domestic chores, and being the one to take care of “his” dog the majority of the time and I never signed up to do both. We changed, and in changing, grew apart.

[–]AFuzzyMuffin1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Okay so here is the thing and this is no knock against you.

This type of change isn't really “change.”

What this is is one person accepting low effort, low standards, and quite frankly a person who seems to have no backbone.

This isn't someone changing over time, this is one person being able to tolerate a shitter prior to marriage/long term relationship and then getting in a relationship and over time realizing their TOLERANCE can wane.

Therapist can usually see this kinda stuff from a mile away. Tolerance based relationships fizzle out and have an operation date. It wasn't that you guys “changed” it was that the tolerance for his shit vanished. He was always this, the same values he demonstrated early on could apply to later in your relationship.

Nothing really changed, you just got tired of accepting mediocrity, whether that was pushed on by you doing better for yourself or not, you didn't grow apart he was just a shitter who never decided to be different and that is NOT the type of man you gamble on

[–]JustMoreSadGirlShit1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]AFuzzyMuffin1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]JustMoreSadGirlShit1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]AFuzzyMuffin1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

How did you both change in a way that was radical? That is what I asked, you haven't listed a single real change other than you both started on drugs together and then eventually you got a career and he didn’t.

My biggest issue with people saying we “changed” insult perpetuates this fear of splitting in long term relationships as something random and isn't somewhat predictable from earlier on based on shared values (if they are toxic in origin) such as a love for drugs etc.

What I'm asking is for you to tell me how a happy healthy relationship from the start morphed into one where there was no reconciliation/it had to end.

That is all I'm asking.

Was this a healthy happy relationship from the start founded on strong moral values with both people pushing each other to be the best version of themselves?

[–]JustMoreSadGirlShit1 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]-Shes-A-Carnivalbitch im back & my ass got bigger, fuck my ex you can keep dat.. [score hidden] 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]AdhesivenessLevel3791 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link