There's a difference between showing emotions and being insufferably whiny.

saladfingers4141 · 2020-01-01T22:37:50+00:00

I know this is shit posting week but I'll take this seriously.

2 examples from my work, one guy had a rough couple of weeks where his niece committed suicide and his dog got bitten by a snake and had to be put down. He was down in the dumps for a few weeks understandably. I'm his manager and heard on many occasions co workers of his complaining that he was being miserable and making mistakes at work and implying he should man up and get over it.

Another guy had his wife give birth to twins that were born months immature, his wife wasn't coping so well for the first 6 months and he had to take a lot of time off work to go to specialist appointments or just to help her look after them in general. My direct supervisor made me move the guy to another department which is basically a demotion that would cost him 15-20k a year because he was taking too many days off (days he was entitled to in his contract as paid carers leave) and had to listen to everyone complaining about how soft he was and that he should have just told his wife to "man up" and do all that by herself.

My point is the world really doesn't give a fuck about men's feelings whether they are whiney frivolous feelings or serious justified ones. Showing emotion and compassion for anything at all whether justified or not is still seen as being incapable or weak.

Workaholiconew · 2020-01-01T20:14:59+00:00

There's a difference between showing emotions and being insufferably whiny.

Yes there is a difference to a objective and understanding being... but when men say to not show women emotions, it is because they are talking about the consequences women make, not that it is correct or moral.

It does not matter that you lost you grandmother, your uncle AND your childhood friend in the time-span of a month. no matter the woman, (including, but not limited to the mother of said man, who was also saddened) they still wants you to show you aren't sad and are still able to provide what they want, namely useless junk for status and social interaction. I could only mourn people for a single day, of one each, before the women started saying I should man up and go work. Jezus I didn't even need to, I had 3 mourning days for each by law. Even the fucking aunt who left the work in this said tragedy and never came back to work told me that. How are you not seeing the irony in that?

I wish to believe that it is only most women who don't care about the state of a man, and just care about the things men provide. But heck you make me think I may be too optimistic. Say something that has not to do with 'what resources I gain' for once in PPD u/LillthOfBabylon

Fucking perfect name. The name of the mother of all monsters together with the whore of babylon. Reflects well your personality. There is only so much a workaholic can deal with.

XtoDoubt · 2020-01-01T16:37:03+00:00

"Show your emotions."

"Not like that!"

Don't take dating advice from women. Just don't.

Teflon08191 · 2020-01-01T16:15:27+00:00

There's a difference between showing emotions and being insufferably whiny.

Not when you introduce the subjectivity of a woman's thoughts into the equation.

A man crying over his mother passing away can be interpreted either way depending on the whims of the woman doing the interpreting.

HarassMyAnger · 2020-01-01T15:56:03+00:00

So men have to clear it with women to see what they can and cant get upset about. Got it.

BothWaysItGoes · 2020-01-02T06:43:38+00:00

There's a difference between showing emotions and being insufferably whiny

Yes, if you are a woman it is called "showing emotions", if you are a man it is called "being insufferably whiny."

Darkseeker_Mau · 2020-01-01T22:16:47+00:00

Some people just unleash their emotions when the pressure starts building up.

Telling people to express or emote is a good thing, but people need to be prepare for what's going to come, it's never pretty.

Men don't sob or cry like actors or movie stars, when it happens it's gut-wrenching. Some men have better ways to deal with their emotions in ways that don't involve showing them, but processing them through sports or physical activities.

Is he sad about his dog of 10 years dying? Or is he sad he opened the door for a hot girl and she would not fuck him?

Well, you never know when old traumas come back, a (male) friend of mine was a victim of sexual assault, one day he starts crying because he saw an elementary school picture.

Some people have the intellectual capacity to be inquisitive, to try to understand, and some people are like my friend's girlfriend, who just called him a faggot.

Some men just don't care to take that risk, so they rather bottle up. Feminist telling men to just "express their emotions but you better do it in a way that is aesthetically pleasing and you better not whine" is the biggest bait and switch when people discuss this topic.

CamoWoobie420 · 2020-01-01T16:13:31+00:00

Show us your motherfuckin titties, BITCH

StaySkepticDS · 2020-01-02T08:12:49+00:00

The problem comes in when there's a double standard in what is considered whiny depending on whether you're a man or a woman

ohheyhi99 · 2020-01-01T15:54:18+00:00

Your examples are far too extreme for a nuanced discussion about where the line is between showing emotions and being insufferably whiny. Many people just draw the “whiny” line as broadly as they need to to cut off complaining that they personally don’t want to hear.

acron5n5 · 2020-01-01T18:23:12+00:00

Show your real emotions and be yourself bro but please show only 'right' emotions

whydidntthey · 2020-01-01T22:56:04+00:00

I think showing your emotions as a guy is just fine. What's not just fine is expecting a woman to solve your problems. Example: a woman can start crying and guys all over will be alerted to go solve whatever dumb girl problem she's got. Maybe she's got a jar of pickles and she's too weak to open it so she just starts crying. It's fine cause now some guy will come open the jar for her.

But if a guy just starts crying over something like a woman then that's a problem. Cause women don't solve men's problems women just don't love men that way. But say you're watching a sad movie and have some tears it's fine.

Emotions are fine so long as they don't control and overwhelm you. I mean if you're a man. If you're a woman you don't get a choice since you have that period thing once a month that makes you nuts

2020-01-01T23:44:08+00:00

There's no point in revealing your emotions to someone who lacks the emotional intelligence to understand, much less handle it, regardless of gender. It's a shame people often are lacking on it.

Zippo-Cat · 2020-01-01T18:13:25+00:00

Nunance matters. Context matters.

To people arguing over masculinity or ethics or whatever on the Internet

Not to women or people in general IRL

You cry you a bitch.

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RepresentativeSwan1 · 2020-01-02T21:02:32+00:00

Does anyone actually disagree with the title of your post? The issue is that there is a lot of grey area between what you've described as "showing emotion" and "being insufferably whiny".

Is he sad about his dog of 10 years dying? Or is he sad he opened the door for a hot girl and she would not fuck him?

Of course, these are only two extreme examples that don't represent the full spectrum of causes of sadness. There are absolutely emotions that are completely valid and reasonable that when expressed only harm a man's social status and SMV (or at least, uniquely harm).

Fear or cowardice, insecurity, sensitivity are all completely valid in many situations, yet are often only acceptable for women to express. Even times when it is socially acceptable for a man to express to express these emotions, it will still lower his sex appeal where it wouldn't lower a woman's.

Much of what is described as 'toxic masculinity' is literally never going to go away for as long as women are turned-off by certain emotional vulnerabilities, and for as long as men want to have sex with women. It is simply the natural consequence of male and female sexuality being what they are.

Bntt89 · 2020-01-03T04:30:38+00:00

Why not just say it, you dont like men showing emotions. You cant pick and choose how men express their emotions if they express them more it menns more whining. You just have to deal with it if you want them to express them. Emotional labor is nonsense women just dont actually like men expressing emotions

Title	There's a difference between showing emotions and being insufferably whiny.
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	45
Comments	95
Date	January 1, 2020 3:47 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/eijnrg/theres_a_difference_between_showing_emotions_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/theres-a-difference-between-showing-emotions-and.304055 https://theredarchive.com/post/304055

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