Thoughts on behavioral sink?

Intro

If you're not familiar with the term, you can read about it here, but I will also summarize it. Essentially, mice populations were studied after giving them material utopia (unlimited food, shelter, no predators, etc) but in a finite space. At first, the populations exploded obviously. At some point the population growth inverted, and I believe in every case that the experiment was taken to its conclusion, the mice colonies went extinct.

The behavior of the mice is where it really gets interesting. Essentially, sexual competition became really intense, and it forced mice to either compete very intensely or abandon competition entirely. The intense competition involved a lot of narcissistic-like behavior (constant grooming, for instance) and generally deviant behavior (lots of violence, for instance).

If you read the link I provided, you'll find there's some disagreement over what the experiment actually implied. Mice are different than humans. There was a lack of a control group. There was a lack of genetic diversity. I think these criticisms are a bit too focused on the specifics of the experiments. I'm not concerned with proving the source of homosexuality (this was something observed in mice during the experiment) or herbivore men. I'm just interested in the positive feedback loops that create dysfunction in sexual relations, particularly in otherwise utopian conditions.

Thoughts

I've seen things from the /r/TheRedPill side, and I've seen things from /r/FemaleDatingStrategy side. They both have a lot of valid points, and they both have a lot of totally insane ideas. It got me thinking, what do they have in common and why? And secondly, what is the real path forward?

I think both communities are full of narcissists. Many of them are hurt, and it's not their fault. They aren't wrong for expressing how they feel and trying to act on those feelings. However, that doesn't change that they frame the world in a very self-centric way, and while they may not seek validation in the ways that they are hyper-aware of the opposite sex do, they are still deeply needing a sort of validation. A man might date a blonde bimbo because it validates his manhood. A woman might date a tall, handsome male equivalent of a bimbo because it validates her womanhood.

It's interesting how much we obsess over this topic. I think we almost always fail to really grasp what is happening because we want someone to blame, and we want a way to fix it. And like I said, most people are hurt one way or another. We don't see that it's not about us. It's not about you, it's not about that guy/girl who hurt you, it's not about entire genders or generations. It's about everyone.

While bettering yourself is good, don't lose the thread here. Plenty of equal men and women are unable to find each other and live happily. That's dysfunction. Marriage rates have plummeted, divorce rates have skyrocketed, and even rates of sex are going down now. That's dysfunction. The only real solution here is to compromise. We have to humble ourselves and accept that there's a lot we don't know.

This isn't some kumbaya shit, and I know it sounds like I'm asking an impossible amount from people. "What, actually BE people? No, people can't be people. They have to be machines." Come on, it's not impossible. Don't try to change the entire world. Just change your own world by not contributing to these feedback cycles that make it worse and worse for everyone, including yourself.

Thesis

The central point is that excessive competition creates positive (self-reinforcing) feedback loops that create negative outcomes.

• Excessive competition has many causes. Non-exclusive list:
  • Some of them are utopian-like; we are wealthier, safer, and more well-fed than we've ever been in history.
  • Some of them are related to access, due to population density and internet connectivity (social media).
  • Some of them are driven by capitalistic ends (you aren't enough — here, try this powder).
  • Some of them are perceptive (all men/women are as beautiful as that man/woman in that TV show; I am ugly, or everyone else is ugly).
• Excessive competition has many effects. You can group them into probably three categories:
  • people who get lucky with genetics/money/family (many factors that lead to forming early permanent relationships) and/or stay sane enough to win the game early on and get out. This is the "Blue Pill" crowd. They think the game works. Some are sort of aware of how bad it is for everyone else, but like any other real trauma, I don't think they can truly fathom it.
  • people who compete harder. These are the pickup artists, the players, the people with high body counts. This is most of the Red Pill people and to a lesser extent, the FemaleDatingStrategy people. The two communities aren't exactly the same. The former is much more manipulative. But overall, they fit into this category. And like I said, they are representative of a broader trend.
  • people who give up. These are the MGTOW people and the women in their 30s who decide they never want to marry. I even would like to say exploring alternative sexualities lies here, but I don't really want to side track this whole thing with that controversy.

Breaking a positive feedback loop is not easy, but the general solution is simple. You break the loop. I can get into some specifics with that, but I've already written a lot just to get the broader point across