Under what circumstances would someone commit emotional infidelity?

Willow-girl · 2020-02-26T13:02:18+00:00

People who don't recognize the importance of setting boundaries and guarding their marriage. Incidentally, I don't think "emotional affairs" remain strictly emotional for very long ...

goneaway2thewind · 2020-02-26T11:31:52+00:00

Emotional infidelity comes from either one of two things, emotional neglect or previous unresolved emotional bonds.

wtknight · 2020-02-26T13:13:35+00:00

Not having one’s emotional needs fulfilled by one’s current partner.

NarniaFox · 2020-02-26T11:14:57+00:00

I think it's more about being close and being able to actually talk and be heard by another human being. People sometimes grow apart in relationship and they seek emotional comfort in others. It isn't an okay thing to do, but it can be understandable.

InterestingStorm7 · 2020-02-26T12:39:23+00:00

Typically emotional neglect.

TheHeartBrokenPrince · 2020-02-26T14:09:39+00:00

Emotional indefinitely isn't a thing. There's physical cheating and then there's catching someone trying to cheat before they may have actually gotten physical.

"Emotional affair" just a softer whitewashing of what their actions actually are.

I've never known a guy who ever described this scenario as his girl "emotionally cheating" on him. It's always "she tried to fuck her coworker at the xmas party" or something. Cut right through the bullshit.

Hungry-Nebula · 2020-02-26T13:54:55+00:00

I don't even get what "emotional infidelity/cheating" is. From what I understand, it seems rather draconian that someone can only ever be emotionally close to one specific person. But, as I said, I don't think I even understand what that even is.

ItsUbermensch · 2020-02-26T14:33:11+00:00

Sometimes shit in life can just happen I think people could definitely benefit from some cautious optimism. Honestly if my gf revealed an emotional affair to me would I be devastated? Yes. Would I be surprised? No. The world contains over 7 billion people do I really believe my gf will never stumble across someone in her daily travels that ticks all the boxes better than me at some point? Of course she will and if she cheats she cheats. Nothing in life is guaranteed or set in stone so don't place all your value and self worth into a relationships because human beings and inherently selfish and will do fucked up shit so always be ready to walk away. Accept that its not an excuse for people to cheat but accept that your partner could turn on you no matter how much love and back story you have. Trust is not a static thing it requires maintenance so see to it that it is maintained and take the necessary pro cautions when you feel it slipping.

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Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-02-26T16:43:12+00:00

> Does the person have to be more physically attractive than your partner?

Absolutely fucking not.

Can they be less attractive than your partner but they are new and exciting and you are bored of your partner?

Yes. And emotional neglect, dead bedrooms and generally stalled relationships lead to infidelity. Some guys are looking for sex, most are looking for intimacy and a new connection.

rus9384 · 2020-02-26T19:43:59+00:00

I never even understood what is emotional infidelity.

I can understand romantic infidelity (a guy holds hands and relationshipy talks to another woman/swap the genders), but not an emotional one.

Notsonewguy7 · 2020-02-26T21:23:50+00:00

I think all of my relationship with women ended in or at least consisted of me performing some form of emotional infidelity. I think not fully trusting your partner and having some else that fills the emotional role close like a colleague, fellow student, or sometimes a shared friend.

ontherailstoday · 2020-02-27T03:20:59+00:00

I don't think there's any one set of circumstances... more a set of things that can contribute to it.

A person may not see it as infidelity so feel they have a pass or maybe their partner doesn't see it as infidelity so they feel they have a pass. Differences in opinion on this stuff are pretty common.

Maybe the person they become emotionally close to is not ever going to have sex with them (there's a variety of different ways that can be... sexual preference, being long distance, having a professional relationship that precludes it) and that makes it seem OK.

Maybe the relationship is one of chronic emotional neglect or there has been a seriously relationship destabilizing row and the emotional involvement with someone else was part of attempting to get some other sort of perspective on the situation. I mean you can imagine that... you have to talk to someone, you feel if you don't talk to someone you are just going to explode and then leave, for whatever reason your friends family or a therapist is not an option (maybe your partner disapproves of that) but one day at work or at the gym or where-ever you start crying and someone is willing to listen and things just progress from there until you're a mutual admiration club of two.

Maybe one of them is a narcissist. If the emotional cheater is a narc they cheat because they can never resist that sweet sweet narcissistic supply, if they are the partner of a narc they might cheat emotionally because they've realized how dangerous it is telling their inner life to a narc.

Sometimes people just accidentally find someone who is... perfect. Their other half. A level of rapport they never knew could exist.

grand_tiremaster · 2020-02-27T05:40:05+00:00

In a past relationship, my INTP ex was horrible at emotional stuff. So I had a guy friend who I would spill my heart out to and he would give me advice/counsel and mediate. And yes, my ex was aware of my friendship with the guy, he did not care nor was he concerned.

So it’s pretty much emotional neglect. Luckily my bf gave me the OK to use him as my personal diary.. but he wanted me to not talk to my old friend.. had to burn that bridge out of respect

2020-02-26T15:23:19+00:00

When a man becomes boring, most women commit such a thing. I was on a receiving end of this too. Too comfortable, too complacent, too boring, lack of drive, passion - she starts to look for another alpha.

Most of the time the blame can be put on a man. Rarely women stray when a man leads properly and enforces his boundaries.

Title	Under what circumstances would someone commit emotional infidelity?
Author	knowledgeseeker999
Upvotes	7
Comments	25
Date	February 26, 2020 10:51 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/f9rhbz/under_what_circumstances_would_someone_commit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/under-what-circumstances-would-someone-commit.340375 https://theredarchive.com/post/340375

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