Do you place men in 3 different categories?

p_fulga · 2025-06-28T02:55:13+00:00

Hmm not really, I wouldn't call it categories? I either find someone physically attractive or I don't. There isn't really any half measure. I have a pretty particular type. I rarely find anything outside of that attractive. But physical looks alone wouldn't be enough for me to be romantically interested in someone. And I am just not sexually interested in someone unless that love and romance is already there. The way I experience lust is essentially just love bubbling over into a lustful excitement. If I don't have the prerequisite, I don't have the latter.

So stage one would be looks, stage two would be personality, interests, love languages and opinions. Stage three would be life goals, future dreams and long-term compatibility and relationship maintenance. Someone needs to demonstrate some aspects of all of these for me to chance a relationship. And then build on and continue to demonstrate more of those stages as time goes on for love and sexual interest to fully blossom.

leosandlattes · 2025-06-28T02:45:28+00:00

My three categories are:

Unattractive: I actively do not want that man, he may be repulsive to me
Neutral: Most men are in this category, they are invisible but can move to attractive depending on how our interaction goes. They can also move down to unattractive depending on how that interaction goes
Attractive: Someone I would notice and go “that’s a good looking man,” but he can also move down to unattractive if the interaction is weird or if he’s severely socially unpracticed, or if he’s just an idiot.

In either neutral / attractive, that man has to seduce me in order to sleep with him. I don’t sleep with men just because they are good looking. I have to feel desired and flirted with. I slept with my bf on the second date, it’s cause he was escalating and made me want to sleep with him.

EulenWatcher · 2025-06-28T03:25:22+00:00

Not really. I can notice pretty people, but it doesn't make me feel sexual attraction to them. I've never felt attraction "on the spot" - I have to develop an emotional connection before I can feel anything close to it. I'm in my late 20s, and so far I've felt attraction only to 3 people, although I've seen far more beautiful men and women.

So almost 100% of men are just...men. No attraction, no interest as they're strangers.

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2025-06-28T04:02:01+00:00

Mmm I don’t know if I’d categorize them like that. More like: Unlikely, Neutral, and Likely. Your three categories read like Impossible, Unlikely, and Absolutely. There doesn’t seem to be a true middle there.

Morgoth_Worshipper · 2025-06-28T06:17:59+00:00

No, I never even heard of these categories before.

julia-peculiar · 2025-06-28T06:35:38+00:00

I... don't think of men (people generally) as categories (nor as needing 'scores' attributed to them; nor as needing to know 'numbers' about them) ... but as individuals.

fiftypoundpuppy · 2025-06-28T04:02:40+00:00

My two categories are:

1) would

2) wouldn't

A guy can move from category 1 to category 2. A guy cannot move from category 2 to category 1.

The category is irrelevant to how quickly I'd sleep with him, because the only fuckable men are in category 1. What I'm looking for determines how quickly I'd sleep with a guy, not how hot he was

sadmatchatea · 2025-06-28T12:46:28+00:00

No, for me it’s more like a pass/fail. They’re either not my type or attractive to me. If they meet my baseline standards any extra “hotness” is just a bonus and doesn’t affect my feelings for them. Guys who aren’t my type are almost never repulsive to me unless they have bad hygiene or are morbidly obese. They’re just kinda invisible to me.

ThatBitchA · 2025-06-28T03:47:38+00:00

I have two.

I notice men. Or I don't know men.

Even when I was single, I wasn't looking at every man.

Today, I noticed 2 out of the 10 I encountered. 1 was my husband. And 1 was a delivery man in wearing a "protect the dolls" shirt.

Physical_Sherbet199 · 2025-06-28T07:16:41+00:00

I have tiers of physical attractiveness but I don’t ever sleep with anyone who I am not married to or in a serious long term LTR that has been over 2 years.

Unlike men, who forever will classify a woman as “marriage” or “casual sex only” or “ignore” no matter how compassionate and kind and loving she is, women change how they view men based on how they feel and are treated. Men’s categorization never ever changes. Women’s do.

For example, a category 3 man can immediately turn into a category 1 man if I find out he’s married and I am his side chick and he’s been lying the entirety of our dating. That would disgust me. Same with if he said something straight out of the red pill. Meanwhile, a category 1 man can become category 3 if I get to know him over time and learn we have the same passions/ values.

Nearbykingsmourne · 2025-06-28T13:50:47+00:00

Being attractive or even very attractive doesn't mean I will "give him a chance". It just doesn't.

I will never sleep with a man just because he is physically hot.

klaire_bear_ · 2025-06-28T06:48:31+00:00

I dont judge human beings into categories of attractiveness. As far as im aware its men that do this.

I judge humans on character. You can have any sort of physical attributes you like. If youre a prick, youre a prick and I won't want anything to do with you.

VexingTetrimino · 2025-06-28T07:34:57+00:00

my 2 categories are:

1) let's see
2) let's not see

people get demoted and promoted in a dynamic process. the main factor in this is what comes out of his mouth.

AutoModerator · 2025-06-28T02:23:52+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2025-06-28T04:28:09+00:00

visibly attractive, initially invisible but can engage me, visibly unattractice

ExcitementLow4699 · 2025-06-28T05:21:22+00:00

As Leos said, there's unattractive (no), neutral (could be, needs to have other attractive traits and make me notice him for me to feel attracted to him, and attractive (yes)

Tylikcat · 2025-06-28T18:12:03+00:00

This sounds like the kind of attraction that a lot of men here describe. And I keep seeing guys try to shoe horn how women are attracted to men into a model like this, even though I don't see women supporting it.

There are men whom I find repulsive. This is far more likely to be a matter of dress, hygiene or carriage than physical features, but I don't rule out physical features.

There aren't men that I look at and want to sleep with. This doesn't happen. And I've taken men to bed before the first date. (Okay, my social circles ran to a lot of hanging out, and relatively little dating as such, so this is a bit of a cheat.) I need to spend a while chatting, one on one, and I need to like them and click with them.

For me, intellectual connection is even more important than emotional connection, but they're both important. (Maybe it's less that intellectual connection is more important than it's more likely to be a problem.)

AchingAmy · 2025-06-28T02:27:30+00:00

No. As a lesbian, they're all just the first category

Werevulvi · 2025-06-28T08:36:12+00:00

It's hard for me to know if I think a guy is attractive or not at first glance. They almost all appear neutral to me at first. It usually becomes clearer to me after seeing him or talking to him a few times. That makes it hard to put them in categories based purely on attractiveness. Looks is just not enough for me to go on 99,9% of the time.

If anything I'd say initially vast majority of men (70-80%) read as neutral to me, ie there's potential for attraction, and only a small percentage (less than 1%) I see as immediately attractive, and the rest (20-30%) I see as unattractive right away. And it's only that latter category I don't typically give a chance to, but... I have seen men in this category become attractive. Like maybe they lost weight, got a better outfit, better grooming habits, etc.

So it's really hard for me to say what percentage of men I see as irrevokably unattractive. Vast majority of men have potential for me to see as attractive someday. And yeah, I almost only date men who I initially see as in that broad "neutral" category.

freekin-bats11 · 2025-06-28T11:47:30+00:00

No, no categories. Just 'attractive' 'not attractive'. I think most men have potential to be handsome, but not necessarily sexy.

And sexiness isnt the only think that gets me going for someone. You gotta be a good person; some sort of close relationship or good rapport had to be formed between us prior. I feel like I can find guy hot but thats it. I dont want him necessarily, especially if he turns out to be a huge dick or we dont have similar interests or if hes doesnt find me attractive back lol.

Love has to have potential where sexual attraction sparked attention, so looks alone is only a small step in an ascending (or descending depening on your perspective) connection with someone. And to call it a step is misleading because finding someone attractive or not doesnt necesitate that I pursue them or envision myself with them.

Manifestival1 · 2025-06-28T19:35:27+00:00

Nah - there's tonnes of very attractive men out there who are as thick as shit and incapable of proper conversation, they're just as unlikely to get into a relationship with me as your category 1s.

Knight-Bishop · 2025-06-28T22:00:59+00:00

[permanently deleted]

VisceralSardonic · 2025-06-28T22:17:42+00:00

Jesus Christ, no. Shit is about twenty thousand times less clinical and over-dissected in real life than it is on gender-overanalyzed subreddits.

Either I’m interested in someone or I’m not. That often doesn’t correlate to objective attractiveness and is more likely to be directly eliminated by wealth (guys who try to buy their affection creep me the fuck out) than to be dependent on it. From there, either it’s sustainable long term or it’s not. That’s it.

Three universal categories?? What type of YouTube thumbnail clickbait is that shit, and why are people falling for it?

majesticSkyZombie · 2025-06-29T00:34:14+00:00

No. I don’t judge men by their attractiveness, I judge them by how their presence in my life would impact it.

ChironGhostHugger · 2025-06-29T01:29:29+00:00

Three different categories, but they're different for me:

1: Ugly. This is rare, most men are in category 2 or 3 but ugly is someone I'll never get with, whether it's their personality or their looks. 2. Okay. I'd sleep with them, but I'd never have a relationship with them. They could be more or less attractive, they could be the most conventionally attractive man on earth but I won't be seeing them as anything more than a temporary thing. Most men are here. 3. Perfect. They're my type, they have a chance, even if they're not conventionally attractive to others, or cross other categories that are typically no gos to other women (large age gap, heavy or obese, strange or unpracticed, etc.)

kalashhhhhhhh · 2025-06-29T11:37:59+00:00

My 3 categories:

1) Irredeemable- these men do not pass the looks threshold, doesn't matter what their vibes are, I couldn't sleep with them ever

2) Men who pass the looks threshold- if the vibes, personality and circumstances are right, I can potentially become attracted to them, otherwise I'm neutral about them and not attracted

3) Men that I'm attracted to- pass the looks threshold+ all of the aforementioned criteria- I'd sleep with them

rose_mary3_ · 2025-06-30T10:35:02+00:00

I'd not give an extremely attractive man a chance if he wasn't good personality wise and emotionally, which your categories do not account for. Why are they so looks based? Women are not superficial

attendquoi · 2025-06-30T16:55:13+00:00

I don't do category 2. You're either attractive, or you're not. It's pass/fail.

RecognitionSoft9973 · 2025-07-02T03:33:07+00:00

Above my league (a lot could fit in here), within my league (harder to find but still exist), below my league (very, very few in here, as it should be)

AdjectiveMcNoun · 2025-07-07T01:08:24+00:00

For me it was like

1: unattractive. Self explanatory.

2: Neutral. I don't see them as attractive or unattractive. They can move up into being attractive or down to unattractive depending on how our personal interactions go though. This is the majority of most men.

3: Attractive. Not a lot of men actually catch my attention as being attractive. If someone points out someone to me and asks, sometimes I will find someone attractive. Men in this category can easily move down to unattractive depending of the interactions.

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-06-28T03:33:13+00:00

My categories are:

He's someone I do not want to interact with (either serious ick vibes, or explicitly witness dangerous behaviour).
He's a stranger. I have no attention for him.
He has some opinions that make him not entirely safe, but I benefit from interacting with him, so I'll play nice.
I have no or few ick vibes about him, and he actively does things to make me a happier and better person. I'd likely date him if he's interested.

Muchadoaboutfluffing · 2025-06-28T03:53:55+00:00

I have some.

He's attractive and we end up on a bad date after awkward talk..

He's attractive and we talk enough to schedule a date..it's a nice date, but we aren't each other types or the spark isn't lit

He's attractive to me and the spark is lit and mad, hot, crazy sex ensues and then wake up and there's no substance

He's attractive and is a man of substance and we take it slow and it develops into something .

The men I am not attracted to don't exist for me as it's usually their attitude and what they say that repulsed me and or they sent dick pics.

bjwindow2thesoul · 2025-06-28T08:22:13+00:00

No i do not place men in categories

DenverKim · 2025-06-28T14:29:08+00:00

Me personally, I put them in the following categories. It’s mostly subconscious, but the more I’ve been thinking about men and dating this last year, the more I have realized that this is how my head works.

Undateable and unfuckable... I don’t find him physically attractive at all (probably 30% of men), he talks or texts like an idiot (also 30% of men, but a different 30%). Severe mental health problems. Under the age of 30. Over the age of 60. Trump supporter.

Fuckable, but not dateable… excludes everyone from the first category. Allows for men who only kind of talk like an idiot. There’s a reasonable “chemistry” between us. Moderate to no mental health problems.

Fuckable AND dateable. Relationship material… He’s reasonably attractive, I enjoy listening to him speak, he has no children and doesn’t want any (at least none below the age of 18 / still living at home), he can financially support himself. There’s an unavoidable, undeniable and irresistible “chemistry“ between us. No or very low mental health problems. Between the ages of 38 and 55.

As far as sleeping with a man on a first date (or ever), that has much much more to do with his behavior and my own mood at the time than his level of physical attractiveness. Sometimes I just feel like having sex and sometimes I don’t. If he’s attractive enough that I agreed to go on a date with him, which isn’t a super high bar for me, then that box has shady been checked and his attractiveness beyond that level doesn’t matter. It has a lot more to do with his personality and the way he makes me feel than the way he looks. Being any more attractive than my version of baseline attractive won’t really affect that decision. In fact, I’ve observed that often, the more attractive a man is, the worse he is in bed. If he makes me feel relaxed and low pressure, I’m much more likely to be in the mood.

Fun_Breakfast697 · 2025-06-28T16:51:02+00:00

Sorta, but if #2 isn't charismatic enough to be someone I'd sleep with that night he gets demoted to #1.

All my serious partners have started as hookups. I wouldn't get romantically invested without checking sexual chemistry. Seems risky.

lesliecarbone · 2025-06-28T10:32:22+00:00

No, I'm not a superficial creep.

floracalendula · 2025-06-28T04:14:58+00:00

Oh, you think it's that simple. No. It's not. Sorry. I honestly operate on vibes, once the basic requirement of "want to snog him stupid" and "isn't a fascist" have been met.

Title	Do you place men in 3 different categories?
Author	knowledgeseeker999
Upvotes	39
Comments	106
Date	June 28, 2025 2:23 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1lmbu88/do_you_place_men_in_3_different_categories/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-place-men-in-3-different-categories.1555791 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555791

Comments