How to avoid becoming an alpha widow?

girlwithabike · 2019-12-03T02:29:22+00:00

Dating when you have no self respect is a recipe for failure. So first of all, you need to assess your own strengths and weaknesses and then begin to work on your weaknesses. You should feel confident that you have things to offer a man so that you seek a man who has things to offer you.

Did this guy ask you out or are we just talking about sex. If he asked you out and wants an exclusive relationship then he does not view you as low value. However if you believe you are trash and you let that hang over you and make you anxious - well stuff like that can destroy relationships because you self sabotage not because he leaves you for someone else.

Being an alpha widow is not some common thing. In all likelihood, if you date you will come to see him as a person with flaws. If it ends, you will be hurt but once past the initial pain of losing someone - you will not hold him up as the be all end all of men. You will know that he was a man - sometimes good sometimes bad. Alpha widows have an idealized version of the man in their head. IMO this is because the relationship never got off the ground (either it was short or it was just sex) and so the guy becomes a fairy tale prince charming.

If you don't like the guy, don't go out with him. If you don't trust his intentions don't go out with him. If you don't like yourself, don't go out with him or anyone. If you are just looking for an excuse to not be vulnerable - we can't help you with that.

werthtrillions · 2019-12-03T02:06:36+00:00

Why do you feel like he's better than you?

Whisper · 2019-12-03T11:52:58+00:00

Many women think that they need to be confident because "confidence is sexy". Not true. Women find confident men sexy. Not so much the reverse.

However, while most women in modern society have pathologically high confidence, it is also possible to sabotage yourself with confidence that's too low. This can cause women to:

Fail to pursue men whom they desire.
Reject men who they believe are out of their league.
Assume that a man only wants them for sex the moment they find out he wants them for sex.
Sabotage a budding relationship by demanding elaborate and constant demonstrations of investment.

Don't do that.

Understand that while women want to be treated good enough by someone awesome, men just want to be treated awesome by someone good enough, and can be kept happy by a simple combination of personal grooming, respect, affection, and fellatio, all of which are well within the power of almost any woman alive.

rosesonthefloor · 2019-12-03T02:07:35+00:00

Why not just see how it goes? And work on yourself/self-esteem so that you don’t go around constantly thinking he’s better than you.

Everything in life is a learning experience.

LocalReligionMajor · 2019-12-03T03:17:40+00:00

Just make sure he's not just looking for sex, unless that's what you want. (This is easily done by waiting a while to sleep with him). That is usually my concern when guys who are of higher SMV than me show interest.

LateralThinker13 · 2019-12-03T15:27:13+00:00

I feel like that’s a huge mistake cause I’ll feel like trash when he eventually finds someone better and dumps me.

I feel, I feel... stop it. Your feelings are messing with your life. Go google the article, "Your feelings and why they don't matter."

And then go get therapy for your insecurity. Because you have it in spades and it doesn't get better without putting in the work.

PepperoniPlea · 2019-12-03T01:50:44+00:00

I like to look at everything as an opportunity to learn? Not sure if that’s a good way to do things, but it works for me.

pearlsandstilettos · 2019-12-03T02:03:56+00:00

[removed]

mandoa_sky · 2019-12-03T02:13:10+00:00

why not just go with the flow for a bit? seems like you like him anyway.

AkrasiaMonkess · 2019-12-03T06:38:26+00:00

Just remember that just because you may lose the best doesn't mean you can't find someone who's lower value yet is still attractive and meets alpha/beta needs. I have high SMV guys interested in me, yet lower value ones with some value I'm still attracted to, even if hypothetically my hypergamous tendencies would go with the best for my ideal preference.

helluvamom · 2019-12-03T04:31:09+00:00

If he wants a relationship, he must see value in you. You need to work on your self esteem. If you think highly of yourself, you will project that and attract/keep a man that thinks highly of you. If you doubt your own worth, it will come out in the way you handle yourself. You want this man to think you are worth pursuing and keeping. Work on how you think about yourself. If this man sees you as high value, why would he dump you for someone better? You have to BE better than other women. Why would he look elsewhere if he has an awesome woman already?

Title	How to avoid becoming an alpha widow?
Author	deedeeejsjjskw
Upvotes	28
Comments	26
Date	December 3, 2019 12:52 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/e58sh3/how_to_avoid_becoming_an_alpha_widow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-avoid-becoming-an-alpha-widow.298544 https://theredarchive.com/post/298544

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