FR First Date after TRP field report with 'traditional girl' as she calls herself

NPIF · 2015-02-18T14:28:52+00:00

She isn't interested. Saying "I'm going to kiss you now" isn't alpha behaviour at all - you're saying it before you do it because you're testing whether she wants you to. That shows a lack of confidence, and from the rest of your FR it sounds like confidence is a huge missing piece in your game.

Any type of physical escalation needs to happen without prompting her, like you've done it a thousand times. You should ALWAYS start a date with a hug to show that you are not afraid of touch or physical contact. If you've had only limited experience with women, the old Adage to "fake it til you make it" rings true here. Go in for the brief hug, and disengage. It only takes two seconds after all.

Advice for next time - pay for the first drink. Tell her "I'll grab this round, you get the next one?" And if she gives you a hard time, pressure flip with amused mastery and laugh it off - "oh, so you're one of those types of girls? Haha"

Also - Kino early and often. Establishing dominance and a sexual identity is key to displaying value. Lastly, drop this chick and start fresh with a new prospect, that ship has already sailed.

DAD_FISTER · 2015-02-18T14:36:21+00:00

You did terrible. You came across as so autistic dude. There is a lot that you're unintentionally leaving out because you were not aware of how autistic you sounded. You mistook her uncomfortable body language as her somehow expressing desire to be dominated because you do not have good body language reading skills.

TheGillos · 2015-02-18T13:40:22+00:00

A traditional girl doesn't generallly use tinder unless she wants to be tempted or find a beta orbiter who will pay and wait and pay and wait.

You tried to escalate and failed. Not tempting enough for her.

No great loss. I wouldn't even bother with a 2nd date. Why don't you appreciate it for what it was, learn, and move on?

projectself · 2015-02-18T19:38:53+00:00

'are you regretting this?' and she got all shy, her tail went between her legs and looked to the ground replying with 'not at all. you aren't a creep' or something like that. This same thing happened probably 2 more times - one when she first came in and i said she looked good and the next time when I said she should feel privelaged to be here with me or something like that

...

This is cringworthy. You asked her if she regretted being with you? It is very rare for a woman to be outright rude to you so you put her on the spot to give you validation. and it happened two more times?

as for telling her she should feel privileged to be there? you don't tell her how awesome you are you show her. If you have to tell someone how great you are and how lucky they should feel, do not be surprised when they call you on your insecure bullshit.

MattyAnon · 2015-02-18T14:20:13+00:00

Sure, try a 2nd date... but this girl will keep you waiting forever. She's playing for boyfriend/husband/BB. Sex will stay out of reach until you either commit heavily or give up.

MoneyStatusLooks · 2015-02-18T14:40:21+00:00

'Your loss' sounds a bit butthurt. I would act indifferent.

And normally, when a kiss is on, you just know, so there is no need to say it. Seems like you forced it and she was uncomfortable.

1independentmale · 2015-02-18T18:54:19+00:00

You've received some tough love in this thread already, so I'm not going to get in to the details of what went wrong here. I just want to say this:

Get up, dust yourself off and do it again. You'll fuck the next one up too, I promise. Don't worry about it, you're learning. Do it again, then again and again. This shit is a numbers game, the more you do it, the better you get, the more people you meet and the higher the likelihood you'll click with someone.

Do not let this get you down. It doesn't fucking matter. This was a practice run. You don't catch a trophy fish your first time you drop your hook in the water.

NeopolitanAfterglow · 2015-02-18T18:46:31+00:00

You're a beta auditioning for the role of an alpha. You completely butchered the role and you don't even realize it. You're like the American Idol contestants who are tone deaf and genuinely believe they're the shit when they're just plain shit.

From the cartoonish level of arrogance to paying attention to which direction you're leaning (WTF) to the weak attempts at physical contact to the overbearing kiss, everything in your post was cringeworthy. But what's really troubling is that you didn't seen to realize this as you're typing it out.

It's like you don't have the slightest innate understanding of what women want, and you're just pushing the buttons you heard somewhere that you're supposed to push.

Stop memorizing lines and following procedures. Look into a woman's eyes and feel what it is you would do that would turn her on. Then do it.

redpillerinnyc · 2015-02-18T15:17:39+00:00

Oh man. You have a long way to go, son.

Paranoidexboyfriend · 2015-02-18T16:55:32+00:00

If a girl from Tinder is willing to meet up with you in person, they are DTF first night. All they're hoping is that you don't fuck it up by saying stupid shit or being creepy and awkard.

But you did fuck it up by playing pretend alpha all night. All your responses came off as forced, unnatural, tryhard, and demonstrated a huge lack of social savvy.

tombreck2 · 2015-02-18T14:30:28+00:00

Whats the RP plan of action to nail the second date

From everything you've said it is very doubtful that she will go on a second date. Your kino escalation seemed very good but it sounded like you broke frame and didn't connect with her emotions enough

moodymela · 2015-02-18T14:28:10+00:00

Traditional girls won't call themselves traditional girls. "Traditional girl" is just slang for I'm going to try make you my beta orbiter and pay and wait for what I'll give to Chad Thundercock in 30 minutes.

KettleMeetPot · 2015-02-18T14:33:24+00:00

The way you described it I kinda got a rapey vibe at the end. Might want to loosen the grip.

kindablack · 2015-02-18T17:02:55+00:00

You're really over thinking the fuck out of this. You're trying to act like a hardass, alpha, 'I don't give a fuck' sort of figure, when realistically you only recently embraced this lifestyle and are working through the kinks.

Settle down. Take things one step at a time. Unless you're a PUA, talking to girls isn't an equation. Read Models by Mark Manson if you haven't. Read that post about being genuine. Just be yourself, fam. Social interactions get better with time and experience.

kick6 · 2015-02-18T22:38:01+00:00

Sounds like you ran a play without looking at the defense, didn't read the run blizz, handed off the ball...and your RB was hit for a loss. Should have called an audible.

I understand this is new, but you do have to calibrate your game to the girl to some extent. The degree to which asshole and dominance works varies, and the lack of return kino should be have been in indication that you were missing your mark.

SkorchZang · 2015-02-19T10:37:48+00:00

A+ for effort, very nicely done - a thinking man's first date. You'll be getting better and better faster than you might think, as you do more.

A few things I wanted to point out, themes for you to ponder or whatever:

Traditional girls do not declare to you they are traditional girls as the first thing coming out of their slutmouth. Only delusional, lying sluts do this. So your reaction when this kind of shit bubbles up to the surface should be a gigantic knowing grin. Oh, one of THOSE again.
Most girls are automated chatterboxes just like this one was. It's normal. You sit there, enjoy her chirping, and let her bask in your presence. Look at her hair, way she moves her eyes and faces she makes, just enjoy. You're not required to be contributing to the "conversation", just interject something that smoothly elicits even more chatterboxing from her and she'll be ecstatic.
Going for the kiss and not getting it happens all the time and it's several times better than not going for the kiss at all. Even if you're with a honest to the earth's core traditional girl, still the same thing applies. Going for it is the winner's move, getting it depends on the girl and phases of the moon and who the fuck knows what else. You did your job start to finish, if you went for it.
Tip for what you can say with the next girl that pulls the old "turn the cheek" move on you: wag your finger at her and cheekily say "I'll get you next time."
Skip the starter compliment, it is traditional and chivalrous, but in this fucking day and age all it ends up doing is make the girl automatically think "omg is he a desperate creep? Could be, I better watch him." Don't serve the validation of her sexual power to her on a silver platter, make a bitch work for her compliment, and then still make it pretty modest. The nice starter compliments and such is for girls you're already sleeping with. Do not be nice or sweet or caring to chicks on your first dates, you want to give her the vague unspoken idea that you're a nasty motherfucker who sees right through her and her bullshit act, but you're not angry. You're cheery and laughing about it, just enjoying yourself and teasing her ass.

If I was in your shoes, even though the date went fairly well, I wouldn't be giving her any second thought, check out new girls. She's very likely to flake out on you now. Her "traditional" act is the pathetic last resort of a hopeless slut in remission, she thinks she can take herself out of the constant alpha cock induced tailspin that way. Even though you're doing very well, you're definitely not pushing the right alpha buttons for an experienced whore like her. Nobody's expecting you to, gotta walk before you start running and eventually add scissors.

t_n_puritans · 2015-02-18T22:21:04+00:00

Dude you sound so wooden, like you just found a sheet of pickup terminology definitions and are now mechanically trying to implement all of them.

Cheers for the laugh.

fakeAk · 2015-02-18T20:41:48+00:00

I think you read a bunch of articles on trp about alpha stuff, got all motivated "this is who I am now" and went on a date. From your writing I smell you're faking whole thing so much, a girl can see through your actions easily. You're going down the wrong road.

ell000 · 2015-02-18T21:54:06+00:00

deleted ^{^{^What}} ^{^{^is}} ^{^{^this?}}

C00l_Guy · 2015-02-18T22:24:38+00:00

Unless she's saving herself for marriage she's not a "traditional woman" just treat her the same as you would any tinder girl.

Also she's on tinder C'mon it's a hookup app FFS.

Onemanwolfpack23 · 2015-02-19T00:14:35+00:00

Tinder girls are DTF immediately. Most articles will suggest you bring them to your place immediately. You will have people who are going to shit test, attention whore, try and put you in their orbit, etc.

NoMoBluepill · 2015-02-25T10:09:28+00:00

You got completely rejected. Nothing alpha here.

chz123 · 2015-02-19T05:43:14+00:00

Dude what the fuck lol. This is so cringy. Either act like a normal person or learn to be smoother/wittier to get away with being an asshole.

Bellum00 · 2015-02-19T09:21:53+00:00

Ouch. That wasn't alpha, but needy bordering on sexual harassment. Second date is out of the question. Don't worry about it though, we all have to start somewhere and we all get there by falling and getting back up.

Let's go over your mistakes:

Complimenting her on her looks right off the bat.

Letting her attack you for not buying her a drink and letting her flaunt her options. Btw, a woman who's that entitled isn't LTR material. Not playing with her being traditional, describing her bringing you a whisky and your slippers after you get back from work, and running back to the kitchen to make tou dinner (in lingerie). This creates a dominant - submissive scenario in her head, and would've made her go all feminist, at which point you could've riposted by stating she is in fact not traditional, and thus hasn't earned her drink.

Asking if she was enjoying the date. Demonstrates lack of confidence.

Not reading her body language and not respecting the order of kino escalation and push and pull.

Asking permission to kiss her. You know you can kiss a woman because she made it obvious by giving IOIs and initiating and meeting the kino before the kiss: continuous contact (holding hands, long hugs, sitting on your lap, soulgazing).

Here's my advice for your next date: go have a drink and then change the venue and go do something you enjoy, tease her and make her earn information, and start kino by demanding a high five after you beat her at whatever activity your doing (could be table hockey or pool, could be a race in the middle of a walk). Maybe even make her miss the high five, and then loudly laugh softly push her. If she pushes back or hits you, you can escalate again a bit later.

Title	FR First Date after TRP field report with 'traditional girl' as she calls herself
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	12
Comments	83
Date	February 18, 2015 1:32 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2wb5bg/fr_first_date_after_trp_field_report_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/fr-first-date-after-trp-field-report-with.29285 https://theredarchive.com/post/29285

Comments