A lot of guys in this sub are hoping that eventually getting laid will fix all of their problems. Let me start by saying that getting laid will help you become happier. However, do not plan on it fixing all of your problems.

For the past half year Ive put in a ton of effort into learning how to pick up women, Via online/apps and night game. At first, I was getting few matches on dating apps and could not even muster up the courage to talk to a random girl at a bar. Things got way better through lifting and working out, eating healthy, going out every weekend, and optimizing my profile. My match rate on tinder is currently hovering at around 11% (which is pretty high for a guy: tinder will give this data to you on their site). I hooked up with some random girl at a bar. I have a couple of solid "plates". I thought all of this would make me happy. It did make me "happier", but it did not fix my root problems.

I realized my root problem was more of a lack of belonging in true social circles. Sort of like a frat/brotherhood of male friends. And also not having the most meaningful and social of jobs. Social circle/having a life is heavily connected with game. Sure, I can pick up more women than I ever have before at this point in my life. But my life is also boring and pretty lonely. Women can begin to feel this from you the longer you are around them. This is especially true of higher valued women.

I would suggest all to take some advice from Jordan Peterson (and some other guy who I cant remember his name). JP has a video talking about depression in his patients. He always asks a standard set of 5 questions to them. If any of these 5 things are missing from your life, you are at risk for depression/being unhappy. 1. Do you have a job (or something like school that forces a regular schedule that gives you a purpose, something to do with the majority of your time, something to regulate your circadian rhythms, and something to have goals that contribute to activating goal pursuit emotion systems in your body)? If you do not have this, this absolutely needs to be fixed. 2. Do you have friends? 3. Do you have an intimate relationship? (this is where being able to pick up women will help you) 4. Do you have decent health? 5. Do you have a drug or alcholol problem? If you have 3 of these problems, overcoming depression will be nearly impossible. if You have 1-2 of these problems, you can become happy, but its still likely that at least one of them will bring you down when other things are going well.

This was the case for me. After spending a ton of time trying to get better at the dating game, I finally feel competent/abundance. However, my lack of a true social circle like I had back in high school and college does not exist (number 2 on the list). This in part came from moving around a bunch for work. Its a problem, and until that gets fixed, Ill continue to get random bouts of depression which will bring me down in other parts of my life (work, school, dating,etc)

The plan to fix this problem came from some other guy that I cant remember. But its basically this: Pick 2-3 social hobbies/activities outside of work. Become extremely active members in them. Over time you will develop at least some friends from these activities and is your best shot at developing a true social circle. And Im not talking a friend here and a friend there (which I currently have). Im talking a true brotherhood/social group that many of us are missing in our current lives that is causing unhappiness for a lot of men out there.

I just wanted to put this out here for guys who are struggling to not solely focus on getting laid as your only source of worth and happiness. It will not solve your issues if you currently have some

Do things to get better, don't wait to get better to do things

Pay Attention to your life. Look for things that you can fix. They will yell at you. Fix them