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"I Would Never Have dated You When I Was 25"

Hatorader
April 8, 2014
161 upvotes
/r/TheRedPill
Archived from /r/TheRedPill

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Post Information
Title "I Would Never Have dated You When I Was 25"
Author

Hatorader
Upvotes 161
Comments 91
Date April 8, 2014 7:44 AM UTC
(12 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/22i0t2/i_would_never_have_dated_you_when_i_was_25/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/i-would-never-have-dated-you-when-i-was-25.230468
https://theredarchive.com/post/230468
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Comments

[–][deleted] 60 points61 points62 points 12 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

Even women admit most women settle. "They want to settle down and find a nice guy to fall in love with". Most women would admit this.

[–]bossbang15 points16 points17 points 12 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

Some of them only half understand what they're doing. I know I care about you, but what if....

The "what if" mentality is so deep seated and planted so deep into their core, that it conflicts with their heart to the point it causes them stress.

Eventually "what if" wins and they "set themselves free" from someone they care(d) about, justifying it with "there's a chance, so I shouldn't have to settle."

Only when she's had a bit of everything at the bar and the doors are closed to her does she decide she has to re evaluate their definition of love. "Real love is __", rationalizing it and framing it in a way so she feels progress has been made. Then they settle, some without even realizing it.

Nevermind the man she actually cared about in the first place and her bold self empowering decision to not settle, the damage left in her wake or the effect this has on society as a whole.

It's just what she does, it's biology. Legitimate feelings are disregarded for the sake of the never ending quest to find the highest quality man she can get, no matter how destructive the journey. This is why TRP works so well, it's all about improving yourself for the sake of being a better man and that's it. Women are naturally drawn to that, but it's a side effect and not the central reason we do it. TRP changes the dynamic, we become focused on BEING quality people for it's own sake, which is something everyone should do regardless of gender.

[–]Dreamtrain2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That wouldn't be that bad if when they said "They want to settle down and find a nice guy to fall in love with" the bolded part was genuine.

[–][deleted] -21 points-21 points-21 points 12 years ago | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]MartialWay5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If you think a woman's opinion of you when she was 25 is more important than her opnion of you now that she's older, you've got some peter pan syndrome going on.

You're trying to pretend women have the same perky bodies in their 30s as they did their 20s, and then accusing those that disagree with you of "Peter Pan Syndrome"? Someone is smoking the magic fairy dust, and it ain't us.

[–][deleted] -19 points-19 points-19 points 12 years ago | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]anonymous11131 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Why are you here?

[+]Poemi-14 points-13 points-12 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I know. And most of the time it's this same old "see how bad women are! this is my justification for being an equally shitty human being" pseudo-philosophical bullshit.

But every now and then someone has a valid point. Someone who is actually looking for the "positive identity for men" mentioned in the sidebar, instead of balm for a wounded ego and permission to be a douchebag.

I just try to do my part to point out which is which.

[–]ModMachiavellianRed8 points9 points10 points 12 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

Boys and men have an entitlement to be angry about their mistreatment, it helps motivate them and work through their problems and sense of self. Nobody gives a fuck about your sociopathic lack of empathy towards their plight. Enjoy the delicacy which is your ban.

[–]theozoph107 points108 points109 points 12 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

I think the "I would never have dated you..." outbursts are a mix of honesty and nuclear shit test.

When women enter that phase where they want to "settle", they need to ascertain you're a proper beta who'll deliver before committing. Therefore to (dis)qualify you, they let you know you're getting the leftovers to see if you'll stay.

Anything other than a hard "Next" is proof they've got you. Next step is baby entrapment and a lifetime of put-downs.

"Fly, you fools!"

[–]heli_elo48 points49 points50 points 12 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

Your definition of the outburst is pretty spot-on, and actually you may be on to something with it being a test... However, it's important to note that most women don't even consciously realize they're settling. They tell themselves "this is what adult love feels like... It was never going to be as exciting as that dude I blew in the bar bathroom."

The excitement of the bathroom blowjob is because the man was in control, he was the dominant one. This is an important aspect to the relationship dynamic... Without it, (i.e. love with a beta), it feels like there's just some guy in your life to do your bidding... It literally does not even feel like a relationship, but they convince themselves that it's love because the truth is fucking sad. Of course the conviction is only skin deep, thus the baby entrapment and lifetime of putdowns. No one wins.

[–]2RedPill4LYF45 points46 points47 points 12 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

My dad married my mom after she had already had my sister with a deadbeat alpha. Recently she joked about settling for my dad. It was uncomfortable listening to that with him in the same room. It was uncomfortable listening to that period. My dad was beta slaving himself to an early grave at the rate this was going. She'd crack the whip and he'd be on it.

Ever since I was 11, my dad has come to me to talk when my mom goes on a hamster rampage. He would ask me for help as he explained the situation over and over and over trying to understand it. Do you have any idea how god damn confusing it is to be sitting in your room playing power rangers on snes, and you hear raised voices, stomping, shit crashing, and your father enters the room and consults YOU for advice about what to do?

I've been slowly injecting red pill in our conversations. I came right out and told him what I thought at first, but he rejected it quickly. Now he's begun to see things my way. Even if it's fucked up, I'm glad I finally had the advice he needed to hear. He still won't leave her, but he doesn't put up with her shit anymore.

[–]MayorMoonbeam 20 points20 points20 points 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You're doing good work. Don't give up on helping him w advice. He IS coming to you, after all.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Fucking bullshit. It is not kid's business to help his/hers father with life decisions.

[–]MayorMoonbeam2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Granted, it's not ideal, but sometimes we have to step up before we're ready; before we ever knew we would have to. The point is he is helping and it's good. It's not like not helping is just going to be an idyllic walk in the park - no, he's surrounded and living in the situation regardless.

[–]Humankeg13 points14 points15 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

God that must have sucked.

[–]2RedPill4LYF10 points11 points12 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Every time. Sometimes it would happen once or twice a month, then things would quiet down and I'd begin to relax again, then the clenching world coming to an end feeling would strike as they found something new to argue over.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor11 points12 points13 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Similar experiences, brother. You are not alone. With the Beta-ization of society the "good" men often seem to do this to their children. We have to forgive them and be our own men but it is not easy.

[–]FemtoG7 points8 points9 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You're doing God's work, son.

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points3 points 12 years ago | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]2RedPill4LYF5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

It didn't help being raised Christian. I was beta beyond beta.

[–]1mrust15 points16 points17 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

My counter to this and used this on an ex who was being too bitchy:

"Knowing what I know now, I should/would have broken up with you a lot earlier."

Amused mastery is the proper tone.

[–]1spicy_fries24 points25 points26 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Chilling.

When you remove all of the hamsterisms and describe exactly what they do, it's like watching a psychopath carrying out a murder.

[–]Senior Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil79 points80 points81 points 12 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like she settled. Sounds like a great girl to play settelers of Catan with.

[–][deleted] -30 points-30 points-30 points 12 years ago | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]trpRX38 points39 points40 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

you sound like a sore loser...

"Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another...."

[–]ElizabefWarrenBuffet7 points8 points9 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

but diamond is formed in absolute solitude under the intense pressures of the world

Edit: shit, diamonds sharpen diamond anyway

[–]trpRX5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

you aren't a diamond though... are you?

[–]stupid_fucking_name13 points14 points15 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If you can't love him at his worst, you don't deserve him at his best.

[–]VaselineCoveredCat 6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Is English your second language or something? I have no idea what the shit in quotes means.

[–]RageLife1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The play with yourself part...does that mean masturbate?

[–][deleted] -14 points-14 points-14 points 12 years ago | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]VaselineCoveredCat 8 points9 points10 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

grammar-spelling army

wut.

It's basic English, I'm not playing it up for the sake of hyperbole, your comment makes no fucking sense. Even with your edit it's still retarded. If English is a second language it's completely excusable, no one expects you to be fluent, but if English is your first language you really should have stayed in school past the first grade.

i fuck girls in real life while you guys play beethoven's 5th on your keyboard.

Is your name John and do you hate every single one of us?

[–]ButterMyBiscuit3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I wish I could play Beethoven's 5th on my keyboard.

[–]NGGYUNGLYDNGRAADY1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I'd rather play Catan than fuck a girl.... Most nights at least.

[–][deleted] -7 points-7 points-7 points 12 years ago | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]NGGYUNGLYDNGRAADY4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Vaginas aren't special; they're just a warm, wet place for me to stick my dick in.

[–]TheOpposingView 1 points1 points1 points 12 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Gonna be honest--that sounds like an enormous over reaction, or that your friend really sucks and you should consider a new one.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I want people to crush me using their best tactcs my first time playing a game. Dont go easy on me because then I wont know how to really play. I was beta to my ex wife. She showed me the error of my ways and I thank her for it.

[–]TheRationalMale.comRollo-Tomassi19 points20 points21 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

She's right on schedule: http://rationalmale.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/smv-timeline1.jpg

http://therationalmale.com/2014/04/08/preventative-medicine-part-i/

http://therationalmale.com/2014/04/08/preventative-medicine-part-ii/

http://therationalmale.com/2014/04/08/preventative-medicine-part-iii/

[–]musicvita2546 points47 points48 points 12 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

A girl i was about to fuck rudely said, "can't I upgrade you to a better model"

My dick was hard, so I fucked her brains out, I've never spoken to her since. That one comment ruined her for me. All you deserve is my jizz on your tits love, not even a second of my attention.

Obviously its driving her mad.

EDIT: Calls me every day.

[–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself15 points16 points17 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

It's like she never understood the difference between inner voice and outer voice. Who says that? Reverse the genders and you get a slap and a bitchy walkout for your efforts.

[–]Sturmgeist78112 points13 points14 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

and possibly a rape accusation.

[–]garlicextract4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Grade A cunt, why the fuck did she say that?

I'd *never say "too bad your pussy isn't a bit tighter" or something like that to a woman before sex.

[–]theozoph1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Grade A cunt, why the fuck did she say that?

Fitness-testing. An alpha keeps his frame and dick hard, a beta will flounder. It's LMR, bitch version. Still qualifying you when her thighs are open and you're about to fuck her.

Go for anal immediately, degrade her profusely while banging her, and next her right after. You'll have a stalker for a few weeks, but it's worth it.

[–]musicvita251 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. Seeking a reaction. I still fucked her.

Well said mate.

[–]Glenbert12 points13 points14 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

If you haven't already, check out Rollo's Preventative Medicine series.

He just posted the conclusion this morning it looks like. Good stuff!

[–]1mrust5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

It's a great series but I think he mentioned an upcoming part 4.

[–]Glenbert3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

That would be cool. Best-in-class stuff, IMO.

[–]JohnGalt31628 points29 points30 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

no one has the right to find love or deserves someone special

we just have to get stronger and keep on going

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points18 points 12 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

no one man has the right to find love

While this sounds a little bitter. It is more accurate. Women will tell men all day they don't have the right or deserve anything when it comes to love. They get what they get. Then turn around and say they (women) deserve to have it ALL. I see it in AW all the time when a guy talks about what he wants in a woman.

[–]friestogo 11 points12 points13 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Back in my BP days a girl I used to orbit would frequently say "I think every guy should treat his girlfriend like a queen and make her feel like the prettiest girl on Earth!" with absolute conviction. Even though I was massively beta, I replied "Well, should girls treat their boyfriends like Kings then?". No answer.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I tell that to most girls I see more than once. You want me to treat you like a princess? You better be treating me like a prince. Baked goods and blowjobs darlin'.

[–][deleted] 60 points60 points60 points 12 years ago | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 17 points17 points17 points 12 years ago | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]blazingcopper1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Now that robots will do all the shit labor, only the elite and genetically gifted humans will mate.

[–]TWK1280 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You haven't been by the trailer parks lately, have you?

[–]Delzak33 points34 points35 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No, I understand what you're saying, but the "suppressed philosophers" you're talking about are often just depressive teenagers and loser adults who never nutted up and learned how to be sociable. What insight they think they can bring to the world is often incorrect of already known in one way or another. They never went out and tried to be happy and figure out life, they just sat around "thinking". Judge a man by his actions.

[–]sir_wankalot_here12 points13 points14 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

You need to join my ultra blue beta religion. The meek will inherit the earth. Since I am a lovable caring man I only demand 10% of your income, just to show you are serious.

I will use the donations to minister to wayway young ladies who need my guidance and spirituality. The sacrafices I make for people.

[–]omega_fat1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Only 10%? Awesome, where do I sign? I mean in comparison to the 50-60% most people pay in total, direct taxes combined with stealth ones.

[–]sir_wankalot_here0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Hmmm :-) All male members of my blue beta religion are to abstain from sex, except for the purposes of procreation.

Sex is disgusting and sinful. If a male member sins, to punish him, and because I am a loving caring leader, I will have sex with his wife or daughter while he watches. I will only perform this disgusting act because I care about my flock.

If you have not clued in I am being sarcastic. Some cult leaders actually do shit like I described. What was the most disturbing was how the followers would hamster saying how great it was the cult leader fucked their daughters or wife, and how he cared about them.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Life isn't fair, deal with it.

[–]Hatorader[S] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Very well said sir...

[–]frazzleddd0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

We deserve nothing. The thought that anyone deserves anything is a byproduct of equality and is inherently flawed. I wish I could agree dude but its not the world we live in; its the one you were told we live in.

[–][deleted] 57 points58 points59 points 12 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

Proper response: Don't worry, when I was 25 you would have been a one-night stand.

[–]Glenbert31 points32 points33 points 12 years ago* (10 children) | Copy Link

I upvoted this, but the problem with it is that it invites an equitable comparison. "See, guys do it too. So all this 'women and men are different' stuff is wrong."

[–]ButterMyBiscuit23 points24 points25 points 12 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link

It still blows my mind that some people (a shockingly large portion of the general population) claim women and men are pretty much the same with different genitals and hormones. Do they really believe that?

[–]jcrpta3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Do they really believe that?

Whether they really believe it or not is neither here nor there - political correctness demands one claims to believe - certain things and failure to do so is to invite shaming and ultimately becoming a social pariah.

Those things include such ideas as:

  • Women and men have virtually no differences between the obvious physical ones. Any apparent differences are more to do with social conditioning than real differences.
  • True love conquers disease and disability, earning ability, sexual compatibility and pretty much anything else ending in -bility.
  • All people's beliefs are equally valid no matter how much or little evidence they have to back those beliefs - or how much evidence there is that those beliefs are a load of rubbish. The only exception is if one professes to hold beliefs that are politically incorrect.
  • All the ills felt by anyone in this world - whether that's the aggressive kid who thinks he's a gangster because he picks on those weaker than himself or the starving woman in Sudan who's watched her husband get shot and her kids die of malnutrition - are ultimately caused by stupid white men.

[–]Endorsed ContributorrebuildingMyself6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Only when men do something women would have a problem doing. If women accomplish something, it's because of their innate female magical powers.

[–]Glenbert2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Whenever it's convenient.

[–]frazzleddd1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes because we're raised to believe it. Obviously I'm not going to get into it but a large amount of TRP still believes the same about race.

We believe what we're raised to believe. To overcome that is impossible for many people hence the lack of the manosphere being mainstream.

[–]torrentialtomato1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I did, until I took the red pill, and I was constantly perplexed why the way women thought and behaved was completely different than we were constantly told by women themselves and society in general.

[–]RedPillScare2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't let fallacies kill your mojo.

[–][deleted] -8 points-8 points-8 points 12 years ago | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]Glenbert0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I posted that realizing that it was a false comparison because it only applies to about 15% of the men out there.

I also am good at detecting jokes.

[–]Endorsed Contributorzyk0s2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Nah, the proper response is: That's why you'll never be more than a pair of tits and three holes for me.

But it seems in this case, he had already gone for the blow and told her he would never marry her. She was obviously trying to retaliate and get under his skin. It's best to just NEXT at this point.

[–]blazingcopper0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Only 3?

[–]TheD_0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

This response indicates her words got to you and hurt you so your ego is leaking out and trying to hurt her more than she hurt you. It's not an alpha response, it's a response of a wounded animals. We've all done them, and will make those similar responses in the future.

[–]theozoph2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Exactly, remember that the best negs or shit tests aren't (apparently) intentionally hurtful, they just graze at your ego under the pretense of complimenting you. The real conversation happens in between levels under the guise of polite chitchat :

  • "I would never have dated you when I was 25." - surface level
  • "I was young and immature back then, I am a better person now and I make better choices." - presentation/rationalization level
  • "I don't really find you attractive, but nowadays I make mating choices based on material considerations." - realtalk level
  • "You're just my lifeline as I decline in sexual value. What are you going to do about it, biatch?" - emotional level

If you agree with the presentation level, you're a clueless beta, safe. If you respond to the realtalk level, you're a bitter cynic who can't hold frame, you lose. If you respond to the emotional level you demonstrate her point : she has engaged you emotionally, you have committed, you just weren't aware of it.

The only way to answer is to sidestep the emotional strike by simply disengaging. No words will do that for you, actions will.

In a way, you've engaged when you fucked her. She's just now assertaining whether or not you're beta enough to be led by your emotions. You took the bait and she's reeling you in. Talking it out is the beta move, no matter what you say. Engaging in the emotional drama proves she has a grip on you.

Playing a game of banter ("Aren't I glad you so much more mature and worldly now?" / "Gee, thank God. Young girls never give proper blowjobs." / etc.) can be a short-term solution if you're still planning to get a few bangs out of it, but long-term your only option is nexting her.

[–]Hatorader[S] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Fuck, this is a great breakdown! Thank you! Wish I could up-vote more than once.

[–]bisexie12 points13 points14 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Proper response: "You're more than welcome to dump me when you're 25 again. In the meantime, let's live in reality and separate ways."

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Holy shit that's Ice Cold.

I mean Coors light commercials are made from that kind of stuff.

[–]lifeInCHI 17 points18 points19 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Screw that. Let her grow old alone...claiming there are no "nice guys" out there.

She dig her own hole.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor6 points7 points8 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

She gets points for honesty but loses double with this rude shit test. Proper response: "Me too." Then degrade her, neg her, treat her like crap and basically show her you could care less about her until she begs forgiveness and blows you to completion after you pee in her butt. Then get the hell out of the room and do something without her. If she follows you and calls you have a chance to reframe the relationship and blow the fuck out of this shit test. Otherwise, demote her to a plate and carry on.

[–]Ididerus9 points10 points11 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

"Go to church to meet a pretty girl..."

Most of the church going girls I know are there to "repent" for all the shit they did in their teens and 20's. Maybe if you find one that's there in her teens and 20's she could be a unicorn...

[–]icanteventhecat4 points5 points6 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The worst part is that women simply have no idea that that's among the meanest rudest most personally soul-crushing things you can say to a man. They think it's actually a compliment.

[–]1sailorJery9 points10 points11 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

haha go to church to meet a girl? lol. Well I'm an atheist so no, also, I had a girlfriend from the church I used to go to and she was just like every other girl.

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points3 points 12 years ago | Copy Link

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[–][deleted] 5 points5 points5 points 12 years ago | Copy Link

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[–][deleted] 2 points2 points2 points 12 years ago | Copy Link

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[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I've seen most if not all of my male and female friends have taste changes in their 20s. It is possible her taste really has changed. Has her taste changed in food, culture or fashion?

You should be concerned with the crazy more than anything.

If she is offering a marriage ultimatum well--fuck that. Seems fine for a LTR.

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