Speak Like a Man: Improving Speech Quality

Meat-on-the-table · 2016-03-13T17:57:23+00:00

The most important lesson: how you say something is more important than what you say.

You could listen to James Earl Jones talking about doorknobs for an hour, but would probably still wanna murder Gilbert Gottfried even if he were giving you the numbers to a jackpot lottery winning ticket.

Professor_Red · 2016-03-14T03:17:04+00:00

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Learn how to sing properly. This will improve every aspect of your speaking and voice, and if you are lucky enough to have a decent sounding singing voice, it will only up your value.

Either see a professional voice coach who can give you proper instruction, or invest in one of those at home singing/voice training programs(a lot of these can be found on torrent sites if you look) that gives you the techniques and such and practice everyday.

Also, as mentioned, if you weren't gifted with a deep voice, don't artificially lower your voice, it just sounds goofy, not to mention fake. Instead, try to develop a calm and harmonious voice that will provoke feelings of comfort and relaxation(think of the archetypal storytelling grandfather type voice). And of course, as the OP mentioned, slow your pacing down.

Weirdtual · 2016-03-13T18:49:42+00:00

Recording your voice is a good advice here, because we're not used to hear our own voice like others do. And the difference is quite noticeable.

The day I recorded my voice for the first time on my phone was the day I took notice of two things :

I didn't spell my own fucking name clearly, when trying to be clear (imagine the impact on your social life when others can't even understand who you are)
My "average" voice was two ~~octaves~~ notes higher than I thought.

Edit : word.

raisins3142 · 2016-03-13T21:01:27+00:00

Thanks for this. I had a horrible stutter (only 25% fluent) as a kid and it took years of speech therapy to overcome (mostly). Still, when tired or stressed, I will stutter a bit. Because I do not have a constant stutter, when this occurs people think that I'm a "normal" person that is currently crazily unsure. That isn't the case, I'm just not feeling very well at the moment, but within reason, and my speech betrays it.

When this occurs, I get interrupted more and listened to less.

When I taught, a few students wrote in evaluations "knows the material very well but sometimes seems unsure", which was not true, I just stuttered occasionally.

The good news is that the "cure" is to speak more slowly and deliberately, which ties in with what you wrote above.

The bad thing is that impatient people will then try to finish my sentences or interrupt me. There is an asshat at work that I best in about every way, but he jumps on this and uses it against me.

Final thought: if you or your kids have a speech problem, treat it aggressively. It will cause many issues if not in control.

[deleted] · 2016-03-14T02:36:23+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Choppersaurus · 2016-03-13T20:03:52+00:00

Best actor to exemplify OP's post? Christopher Walken. Watch some of his performances to see how his pauses are all very natural.

empirico · 2016-03-13T22:46:10+00:00

While we are at it, writing well is important, too. Maybe this sub could do away with the undergrad-style habit of writing headings like "Introduction", "Body", and "Conclusion". Having the summary at the top is an excellent idea, but the others seem amateurish. If headings are needed, make them more descriptive. If not, leave them out.

TheRedStoic · 2016-03-14T10:06:32+00:00

This is excellent advice for pacing and presentation, but misses something crucial.

Most men, most people lack the vocabulary to clearly express themselves. Even here the vast majority of the posts are poorly or inefficiently written. In order to use this information properly first you must educate yourself.

The best way to do this is to read challenging, well written things, often. Then to write often. By all means, you don't want to be the guy who chooses to ruminate on the perplexing paradigms of semantic expressions and intension (yes intension plebian, not intention), but you can consider the vagueness and ambiguity of messages delivered in words.

Yeah lol don't be that guy. Be precise not abstruse. (there's many shifting scales here, context and target is most important for appropriate use)

Articulation is important yes, but it means much less with a very limited and basic understanding and breadth of language. I heavily recommend:

reading a random Wikipedia page a day. (slog through as much as you can, look up words you don't know)
if the article is interesting crush a book on it, or at least a few abstracts.
reading daily at a higher level than elementary or middle school.
keeping a journal, in which you write only with correct grammar.

Just a half hour to an hour a day can make a world of difference quickly. For those slow readers it's like playing a piano, you get faster over time. It's a skill.

Thanks to OP for the great post, however it really is the top half of the Christmas tree and many here need firm roots first.

drqxx · 2016-03-14T00:53:46+00:00

May I also add:

If you're a speed talker and people constantly say what? You need to slow it down. I would walk up to people and seem like an excited puppy trying to explain myself. When I slow down my speech it gives me enough time to correctly get my point across.

yourmommysnightmare · 2016-03-13T17:59:36+00:00

Feldenkrais baby, Feldenkrais

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gtn9imf-lZU

http://www.feldenkraisresources.com/Vocal-Integration-by-Richard-Corbeil-p/2156.htm

yourmommysnightmare · 2016-03-13T18:10:26+00:00

from the diaphragm, and end your sentences with a downward inflection.

only to the extent you can do it without much stress - especially a sandpapery feeling in the throat

once you feel that, back off a little & keep it there for a while & try again later when you've stronger.

CyberChutney · 2016-03-13T21:59:21+00:00

I recently joined Toastmasters to try and improve my speaking and confidence. I can highly recommend it.

It's actually pretty fun. Preparing and practicing a speech (even a five minute one) is a lot of work but it gets easier the more you do it. If you're not speaking regularly as part of your job you'll simply never get the practice necessary to become good. Or become not awful in my case.

Jax77789 · 2016-03-13T23:24:07+00:00

I can confirm that high T levels lower the pitch of your voice. I am a singer ( bass ) and I can sing a major third below my usual limit since I am on No Fap. Yes a deep voice is a chick magnet, I have been told mine turned them on. Also, your voice will sound deeper and thicker in the morning, so if you have the choice, like a phone call, do it in the morning, the impact of your voice on the bitch will be more powerful. Honey will make your voice a bit darker as well.

For the rare males that have tenor ranges, I think you should focus on a gushing and colourful speech.

freeman84 · 2016-03-14T02:29:21+00:00

This is my #1 weakness, and its so very critical, as it affects you with everything that you do. It makes getting jobs, friends, and girls extremely difficult despite being above average in the looks department.

I had some bad experiences in high school and checked out socially for like 10 years. My speech has suffered from atrophy, to the point that I can no longer pronounce certain words such as "deteriorate".

I have a deep voice at least, but I mumble a lot and I lose my train of thought easily which is very awkward when you can't convey your point and just end it mid sentence.

I don't really know how to fix this problem. I know I need to talk more, but to do so is painful at times.

excesssound · 2016-03-14T18:21:39+00:00

So, my personal trick, before anyone says anything, when I first meet someone, is that I clearly say, "Hi there, how are you?" Now wait for their response. They will respond with "[good], thanks, how are you?" My response: "Good, hey, listen --->" immediately dive into whatever you're talking about.

Asking someone how they are doing and actually showing that you listen to them is disarming. I'm in distressed credit -- my business revolves around getting people on agreement to accept a promise in exchange for a broken promise. Lot of negotiating involved. You need to disarm someone immediately from the get go.

Second, taking control of the conversation by diving in immediately is obvious. You've got the wheel, so you get to spin your narrative and focus on the salient points.

This approach has, provided your frame and confidence are real and not some PUA-bullshit, a good tendency to help with flirting with/getting numbers with service-industry workers like barristas, waitresses, and cashiers. It's a natural setting to talk to them, and by (a) disarming them -- their jobs consist of dealing with people asleep at the wheel and (b) being forceful and steering the conversation, you can open the conversation into something beyond business.

SecularNotLiberal · 2016-03-13T21:27:48+00:00

If you have a habit of stuttering or saying words unclearly or cutting off the ends of your words, work on your diction by reading out loud to yourself, privately. The best speakers are those who enunciate and don't slur their speech or butcher it. The easiest way to improve your speech is practice. Much like how learning conversation in a foreign language involves a great deal of conversing with other folks.

CanisLupus21 · 2016-03-13T21:55:02+00:00

Nice write-up, OP. Out of curiosity, this was taken from the Style Life Challenge, right?

BlackVale · 2016-03-14T02:32:24+00:00

I don't know if anyone has mentioned it, but posture also helps a little. There are two ways in which sitting/standing straight helps:

It helps you to project your voice a little bit since it opens the chest area unlike when a person slouch and rounds their shoulders in towards their chest.
Helps with overall body language.

Of course don't stiff your body's alignment up, you have to relax a bit as well. Simply stick your chest out a bit, round your shoulders slightly back but also keep them slightly relaxed, and hold your head up in a high and natural position.

The_Red_Paw · 2016-03-14T11:27:02+00:00

Whenever I hear 'uptalk' (the last syllable raised to sound like a question) I will interrupt and ask "Is that a statement or a question?"

Uptalking is for folks who think each sentence requires a listener to respond to every sentence. It makes you sound weak and insecure, as if you are asking the listener for permission to continue, rather than asserting oneself.

Everything else here is spot on. Two thumbs up for an insightful post.

Source: I'm a semi pro voice actor, skilled singer/ guitarist and Chad. My voice is my best tool for getting them naked, not my 6'2".

Entropy-7 · 2016-03-13T22:38:20+00:00

Good advice. I was on the executive of my university debate society and taught public speaking as a TA for the business school, and these are the sort of things I told my people.

If you are in college then join the debate society; if you are older then join Toastmasters.

trilliam_clinton · 2016-03-13T22:57:46+00:00

I encourage all RP'ers to join Toastmasters Club.

Spend one lunch a week practicing public speaking and listening to others really helps with confidence.

steelerfaninperu · 2016-03-14T02:30:42+00:00

All good advice but I'd like to add one thing. I took public speaking courses for quite a few years and to this date have no problem stepping up to speak, even impromptu.

Practice

All this advice is well and good, but you'll need practice. A lot of this is muscle memory, some of it is mental, but all of it requires reps, just like lifting weights.

Also I'd point out that the best advice here is the "speaking from the diaphragm" bit. More important than the tone of your voice is the volume and its projection. If you use your belly and not just your chest, your voice will boom out and command attention. This is awesome for work but also great for regular life.

The alternative is screaming. Screaming makes you look like an out of control bitch. Voice projection on the other hand makes you look like a cool, confident, in control leader. That's what you want.

Blazingtatsumaki · 2016-03-14T03:06:06+00:00

related TED talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIho2S0ZahI

antihostile · 2016-03-14T03:33:42+00:00

Always speak in complete sentences. Use a noun and a verb.

AugmentedFury · 2016-03-14T08:19:28+00:00

I try my best to avoid filler words and in most cases, I'm successful. But there are times where I have to use "um" to keep the sentences flowing due to me having a mild to severe stutter.

Any tips for a stutterer?

CinnaMagister · 2016-03-14T13:19:25+00:00

Great article. Men should not underestimate the importance of good speech patterns and habits as demonstrable of control over oneself.

As someone who speaks for a living, I cannot tell you how common this is, along with lip smacking, which comes across as disgusting.

trumpisafaggybeta · 2016-03-14T13:20:07+00:00

These are the kinds of lessons that are best exemplified by videos or audio. When you combine subtle things like body language, eye contact, tonality, etc. together, it can be a huge deviation from how your average dude approaches interactions. Best to break it down via video to give a better idea, in this particular case.

another_lease · 2016-03-14T17:54:01+00:00

Focus on speaking from the diaphragm, and end your sentences with a downward inflection.

Can you point to examples of what these terms mean?

Ovendice · 2016-03-14T23:34:10+00:00

Ideally, you want others to think that you always know exactly what to say.

I've known guys like this before - they go out of their way to constantly always try to act like they know the answer to every question or any situation. It only takes one time to realize when you actually take their advice that they are completely full of shit, then of course they look one BILLION times worse than they would have if they had just admitted to not knowing. Now they look like an imbecile AND full of shit and possibly lying to you to deliberately steer you wrong.

So then you never want to even speak to that Bozo ever again. He's a fucking loser and utterly useless. It might help when trying to get laid for one night, but for everything else it's imbecilic.

greatmikeshark · 2016-03-14T00:57:17+00:00

He said do something like a man! It must be true. Will you also tell us how to shit and whip our asses like a man?

Title	Speak Like a Man: Improving Speech Quality
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	390
Comments	70
Date	March 13, 2016 5:34 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4a9518/speak_like_a_man_improving_speech_quality/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/speak-like-a-man-improving-speech-quality.56958 https://theredarchive.com/post/56958

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May I also add: