What the "partying, having fun, sleeping with hot girls is overrated and boring" crowd doesn't seem to understand.

UrsusG · 2015-11-22T21:37:37+00:00

This relates to a pet peeve of mine on here:

State your age in the header of your post.

It will help in understanding your mental starting point and possibly help calibrate our advice to your situation.

It will also help us avoid reading things that we are fucking way too old to relate to.

boomerbux · 2015-11-23T00:13:16+00:00

I'm mid fifties. I worked too hard in uni and went straight to work within days of graduating. I regret it somewhat.

So I have made up for that to a great extent, partying wildly in Tokyo for three years, and no, that didn't get old (I was in my late 20's then).

Then I had a couple LTR's, and they got boring.

Then I discovered Latin America and partied hard in Bogota, often going out with 6 hot chicks together to a club. One night I was making out with several of them dancing on a table, taking pics, and the bodyguard of the guy at the next table politely asked me for my camera, he looked at all the pics, then said 'don't take any more, my boss does not want to be in any pics and handed me the camera back.

So I put the camera away and partied on.

That only got 'old' in the sense eventually I just couldn't physically do it anymore. I was early 40's. And juggling 3 or 4 women is not easy if you have a regular life to live too.

Then I started a business and really worked my ass off, and found a nice balance by being able to go out maybe 1 a week, or twice at most, to a very famous high end club where I could reward my hard work with an absolutely gorgeous woman.

And that's been my way of life ever since. I work hard at things I love, and then blow off steam once a week. I don't get tired of it.

If the only thing I (or you) ever did was party, then absolutely, that would be boring as hell, and destructive and a waste of a life.

But if you have a successful life outside of partying, then I don't think once a week fun times gets old, and I am the type who gets bored extremely easily.

I am amused that now I can turn down pretty amazing looking women without even thinking about it, women that I would have killed for when I was 25, so there is something to the idea that sex with hot random chicks is not all that it's cracked up to be.

But then sometimes, when I am with a really great woman, I think to myself, holy shit, I can't believe how good this is.

TL/DR partying 100% of the time would suck. But partying regularly as a reward for lots of productive work is a perfectly workable long term plan.

Luce_Bree · 2015-11-22T23:33:32+00:00

I'm in a relationship now but a few years ago I was doing a show out in San Fran and had more sex than I had ever had, with multiple women (this was in 2012, before I'd discovered TRP), and it actually DID feel empty, and I DID grow tired of the rotation, despite enjoying the sex itself. I longed for "something more".

Of course, now that I'm in a relationship (and post-TRP), I want some more of the former. It may just be a case of looking for greener grass.

Bringbackglenn · 2015-11-22T20:41:38+00:00

Because no one here really knows the how, if they did, they would have talked about it a while ago.

The fact of the matter is, while red pill's sidebar and material is of great quality, discussions on the sub are a massive cope. Guys on the sub do not know a thing about living that kind of a life because sadly enough, most of them don't live it themselves. So they go on about how having sex with attractive women is overrated and how partying is for the "blue pilled" people brainwashed by people, it is all a massive cope.

Why else do they say "just create that life for yourself" rather than at least laying out a blueprint? Because they want YOU to be the guy who gets that life and tells them how to get it.

The mods, sidebar contributors, and others may know their shit and have been done there done that but majority of this sub is full of angry bitter guys who are just coping with social rejection.

AirPacker · 2015-11-22T23:13:09+00:00

You hit the nail on the head.

The only way to fully internalize TRP is to live it. You can say things like AWALT and AF/BB all day but until you see it with your own eyes you will never really get it. Get your ass to the gym and lift. Hard. Then go to bars alone and approach. You will be rejected. A lot. Keep going. Eventually something clicks and you start seeing success. It's addicting so you keep going for more. You bag notches but you see things that break you. Girls with boyfriends sleeping with "Chad." Girls begging to be your whore. "Nice Girls" bringing home three guys at a time. TRP brought to life before your eyes.

Until you've gone through this phase in your life then no, partying is not overrated. You have no right to pass judgement on something you have zero experience with.

SilentAlpha · 2015-11-22T22:31:38+00:00

Drugs and alcohol.

Ever notice how 90 percent of the lifestyle that so many here idolize is actually nothing more than an alteration of the mind via booze and often some drugs?

So when these orgies and one night stands and partying and such all happen....it's usually via medication of ones mind to one extent or another.

When I lived it for a brief time in my 20s....that was the common denominator among everybody. And it seems to be the common factor contributing to a lot of "alpha" behavior in many of these cases.

TheRedScam · 2015-11-22T21:06:38+00:00

People need to constantly be reminded what the Red Pill is about. It is about seeing the world for the way it really is, and seeing yourself for the way you really are, and then trying to do the best for yourself that you can. Strip away the excuses and lies that you tell yourself, and to see through the excuses and lies that you hear from others.

And the best thing you can do for yourself is build a good foundation. This includes inner strength, physical strength, and social strength. It is about power (the ability to get what you want, especially in the face of opposition) but it is also about deciding what you really want, once you get past the lies, excuses, and wanting what you have been told to want.

So while a section of the Red Pill is about amoral sexual strategy often those people put the cart before the horse. If you improve yourself for women then you are not improving yourself for yourself. But often, if you improve yourself for yourself, women will come along.

But you should never improve yourself for someone that you haven't even met yet. That gets away from building your foundation. What you have build will be shoddy and what you have worked for will collapse like it did for Neil Strauss.

smthsmth · 2015-11-23T00:27:40+00:00

Good post; sums up what I've been trying to tell people for a while.

I'd add two points:

Point 1: the idea of diminishing marginal utility in an economy with more than one good. Basically, say you can have either doughnuts or coffee, both are "good," but after the 10th doughnut, you'd probably prefer a cup of coffee rather than another doughnut. Doughnut:coffee::"staying home studying":"wild crazy night of sex". So, if you've had your few years of partying, while it may not have much appeal to you, you need to understand that someone else, who may not have had the same experiences, could get a lot more enjoyment out of it than you.

Point 2: The idea that having "crazy"/"wild"/"exotic" experiences makes someone a more rounded person. So, while going out and doing risky things may no longer appeal to you, doing it in the past has made you the (hopefully "successful") person you are today. The Star Trek TNG episode Tapestry does a good job of showing this.

aaf00 · 2015-11-22T20:39:16+00:00

I agree, the field reports are a great starting point, but maybe they should also include how the OP got into that situation, what his journey was, I'm sure that some of the most successful guys around here had a more difficult journey than the ones who are asking for advice.

Most of the times some guys who ask for help are like women, they want to have the fun but don't respect the sacrifices it takes to get to a point of abundance.

I'm in the process of writing a long ass backstory, but will take a few days as it's been a long fucking journey.

Theophagist · 2015-11-23T01:10:04+00:00

A hoard of Sigmas would like to disagree.

donttellthefamily · 2015-11-23T02:41:25+00:00

I used to do 4 day weekend benders in university all the time. It's easy when you have no real responsibility.

Then real life starts at full time job. Drug tests are regular so you cut out the "bad" stuff. You need to be alert at work so you're no longer going out Thursday and Sunday nights. Then your friends get married and they only want to go out on the odd occasions because their girl is "tired" most of the time. Then you get married and your girl never wants to go out except on girls nights. Then you have kids and you never go out again.

billhickswasright · 2015-11-23T03:32:12+00:00

I also see no relationship with this mentality and traveling to 'exotic places.' Traveling is one of the most fulfilling things you can do with your life, and it can even work in your favor if you're looking for pussy. It gives you the opportunity to experience different cultures of women and gives you stories you can tell women when you get back. Women love a well-traveled man

TRPsubmitter_ · 2015-11-23T00:07:40+00:00

This stems from the MGTOW/"monk mode" crowd here. They seriously remind me of multi-level marketers selling Cutco knives and Crossfit paleo diet kits with how they tout "inner game" and how the true man doesn't seek approval from others ergo he doesn't want to be around others at all.

The last part is a perversion so these men can escape judgment from others and therefore discomfort. Their egos are fragile. They don't handle rejection from women well. They don't handle "difficult" women well. So their solution is to MGTOW and just opt out and not deal with what they deem as "bullshit".

If someone truly hates women, then fine I guess. Just live in your log cabin. But it's such a perversion to take your natural, evolutionary desire for sex and interaction with women in social situations and then self-deny yourself that pleasure by twisting it into something negative that is "not constructive for my finances" or "a distraction for my monk mode meditation traveling".

HS-Thompson · 2015-11-22T21:30:08+00:00

I have absolutely done the things mentioned, lived well, fucked a lot of model/actress level women, partied hard, all that.

I would never say it's over rated. It's awesome and it's properly regarded as awesome.

With that said, it does get old eventually. That's a different comment, I think everyone should figure out how to do it for awhile, but they should also be mindful of the fact that when they get there they will likely find themselves seeking something else eventually.

JimProfitLeninist · 2015-11-23T00:07:05+00:00

I tell people flat-out, it's not that it was a mistake, it's not that it's a cry for help, it's adapting to the environment. It's not like I'm growing horns or something like I would out in nature, but in this harsh environment: Women are fucking terrible creatures. All they really are good for is fucking, beating, and lying too.

So... people adapt. Some adapt better at it, some can't adapt at all, some adapt differently. The elephant in the room is we're all adapting via ultra materialism. Be it the shut-in herbivore adapting by playing his Nintendo in a secluded area, be it the PUA out there rolling in pussy he'll never call back, be it the dude making an ass out of himself drunk and sloppy. Everyone is adapting to a void nobody wants the responsibility of filling and it can't be done alone.

SO... we offer to help them adapt the way we know how. It worked for us, it's not a solution to everybody's problem, just our own, and even then if you're striving to be "happy" you may as well kill yourself now. Nobody's happy, I don't know if anyone's ever been happy, there's "joy" certainly. And you try to up the joy and downplay the misery, but what the fuck is there to be happy about?

This lifestyle gives us more joy and hinders our misery, that's why we do it. Not because we're losers, or jerks, or trying to be something we're not. It's too honest and straightforward for a woman to understand.

furiKuriTRP · 2015-11-23T01:42:04+00:00

To be fair, "partying and having fun" is distinctly different from "having sex with hot girls" imo. Either I'm there to have fun and party, or I'm there to fuck.

CharlieLightningDick · 2015-11-23T03:11:23+00:00

I gave my opinion on partying yesterday on a post where OP who is the same age as me, was upset he missed out on partying when he was younger and worries that as he gets older, partying will be seen as 'strange'.

I did tell him it was overrated from my perspective, but I absolutely advocated he goes and has the experience himself. I gave opinions on how I prefer house parties to clubbing, festivals and carnivals for my partying outlets for my own reasons. A part of me now wishes I outlined the advantages and disadvantages of each so he could understand what he's likely to get when he does one of them.

I need to point this out though, whilst I share the opinion somewhat with this crowd because it doesn't interest me, they absolutely need to understand this:

Just because it doesn't interest you doesn't mean people should avoid it altogether. He might do it and fucking love it, he might never wanna stop, if he doesn't like it at all after experiencing it all, it's no loss to him, least he's been there, done it and got the t-shirt.

Partying can help with a lot of TRP aspects depending on how you look at it. To act like as if there are only certain things in this world that can be used as a resource for RP goals is ridiculous. Whilst the sub advocates lifting, what if you can't afford the gym? What if you'd rather workout from home but don't have the space? Working out is a good alternative. A lesser alternative, but still a good one as it's resourceful. You might not be as favoured in preselection as compared to someone who lifts, but being in amazing physical shape from body workouts still puts you in the top 10%.

This is a great post and I agree that we could use a good guide on how to break into the partying lifestyle, but something everyone can use as opposed to the typical field report of "this works for me, so it should work for you". And whilst it's my personal opinion, I believe it should come from someone who's been absolutely Omega'd in their life, being a beta with some semblance of a social circle isn't as helpful because you're already operating at an advantage that the reader might not have. Of course, there's guides out there that tell you how to build a social circle, so just read both. I do like the idea of someone going from the building lobby to the top floor and explaining the whole process in detail though.

advancedatheist · 2015-11-23T04:04:23+00:00

Men should experience things for themselves and make up their own minds about them.

In a way, the disclaimers sound like a strategy for players to discourage up-and-coming male competition.

Moldy_Gecko · 2015-11-23T08:28:54+00:00

Look, the reason we tell you it's not about that is because that will happen when your focus isn't that.

0_fox_are_given · 2015-11-23T00:30:19+00:00

Being someone who partied every weekend from 18 - 23 and has really started living the redpill lifestyle in my last few months (im now 24.)

I will say, nothing made me happier then I was in those moments partying, meeting randoms, doing crazy shit and then playing video games while hungover.

Redpill has made me disciplined for sure. But no ammount of money I make or writing that I put out, has put a smile on my face like the moment just after I've made out with two chicks and spanked a third one and my buddies are behind me laughing their assess off screaming shit that doesn't even make sense.

The energy in those moments is on a whole nother level.

I've come to red pill because eventually all of that shit catches up to you and I got fat/stagnated in my work life.

I still party, but once every month or two months instead of every week now. But my mind continues searching for short lived dopamine bursts (video games, drinking, clubbing) quite often.

BlueFreedom420 · 2015-11-22T21:21:18+00:00

Then I hope you never tell people like me who like darker stuff, that what we do is "overrated". You never tried it, and perhaps it could awaken a beast inside that goes beyond boundaries set by culture, and state.

scarfox1 · 2015-11-22T23:31:53+00:00

Basket weaving? Terrible example showing pure bias!

MRSubM · 2015-11-22T22:39:44+00:00

The highest pleasure is staying away from social parties and just building your own world and being successful and in control of your own lifestyle and living it in the way for you find pleasing.

raceAround126 · 2015-11-22T23:50:19+00:00

I semi live that life. Not bored of it yet!

Anthorjyeah · 2015-11-23T05:35:21+00:00

i get what you're trying to say, but damn if this isn't hard af to read. Your sentence structure is something else

tuxidomasx · 2015-11-23T05:54:51+00:00

the urge never goes away for long...

every 3-4 days I want to fuck. if i dont, i get mad. before i knew how to go hunt down some pussy for myself, i'd just masturbate a lot. but once you know how to get pussy, you prefer the real deal.

its like hunger. you eat and you're not hungry. but after a while you'll get hungry again... in a never ending cycle. women dont have that vampiric urge.

its part of the burden of being a man.

williamwright_20 · 2015-11-23T15:08:41+00:00

I have a License that says I can't...

A HAM Radio License!

;)

Derbi50 · 2015-11-23T16:34:38+00:00

Nah man, I did all of that. Hella parties, the admiration of my peers and girls, lots of unearned income to piss away.

Wanna know how I did it? I took stupid fucking risks. I sold drugs, I physically harmed people I felt disrespected me, I went full on KGB against my rivals, whatever it took to be the baddest MF.

I would get stories back to me about how I did something. Lets say I punched a guy out at a party for some mundane reason. By the time the story gets back to me I beat the guy within an inch of his life then pissed on him. Or like the time I got blackout drunk and stole a bob cat and drove it around a golf course, By the time the story gets back I stole a giant bulldozer and crashed it into a building.

I ended up pissing away a good chunk of my life and the fact that I don't have AIDs, a kid, or a felony on my record is nothing short of miraculous.

So when I say that for me living the "good life" of drugs, alcohol, parties, and girls was not worth it for me, take that as truth.

If everyone could experience that life consequence free I would say do it, but they can't. The fact is that in order to live that hedonistic lifestyle (assuming you aren't a frat boy with mommy and daddy paying the cocaine tab) you have to sacrifice stuff. Important stuff. Stuff like grades, clean health, clean rap sheet, clean credit, and a clean conscience.

I have some great stories and had some good times, but the kids who buckled down, stayed in, and did the work? They have like 3 or 4 times my net worth. A few of them 10-20 times it.

You wanna live that life on your terms? Buckle down when you are young, cut loose maybe a few times here and there, and when you are an established man have a house with a pool, a BBQ pit, and an outside bar. Take some art classes/dance meetups at your local community college. Chat it up. Tell the pretty girls you are having a party at your house. Done.

Remember, college girls always stay the same age.

iluminatiNYC · 2015-11-23T17:54:47+00:00

I see your point, but there's a fine line. Letting some experience that wild life is a good thing. Everyone, regardless of gender, should have the opportunity to pursue it if that's what they want. I think the problems begun when someone who hasn't experienced it thinks that it'll solve all the problems in their life. I think it's a question of managing expectations. Thinking partying all the time will solve all of their problems, like the fact that they grew up broke or their mama ain't shit, is where things go wrong.

LicksMackenzie · 2015-11-23T19:12:41+00:00

totally agree with this post

just because you don't like the taste of wine doesn't mean you should demean others who want to taste it and haven't tasted wine

jekosnejev · 2015-11-23T23:05:41+00:00

I don't give a shit about vacations I work to invest purely in myself I lift, diet and plan rigorously To become one thing solely An object of female desire

kevin32 · 2015-11-24T20:45:44+00:00

tl;dr If you're a millionaire, don't tell the poor "money won't bring you happiness"

But what the millionaire is trying to say is, "If you put too much focus on the money, then you're subjecting yourself to it, which leads to being controlled, manipulated and unhappy."

darkrood · 2015-11-23T03:49:18+00:00

Really? "Drugs are not fun." You tell that to people, and then they will not do it?

"Partying and women are empty meh" You ever try to tell that to David Choe who just became facebook millionaire?

Lessons learned:- Best thing you can do in this scenario is telling guys who want to live that kind of life how to live that kind of life

Partying like a rockstar and fucking beautiful women need money. Become rich then live like a rockstar. There, my help for this sub.

p.s. if you dare to bring up that stupid example of johnny dude who can just mooch at every party, please come back to me if he can keep at it till he's 60.

OMGTRIGGERED · 2015-11-23T01:03:28+00:00

The truth about places like this sub, seduction forums, and other similar forums is that they are going to be loaded with guys that are missing out.

You forgot readers who get theory but gave up trying to translate it to skill, which is the majority.

lot of the naturals

Naturals by definition are few.

who are getting wasted with their fun friends on a Friday night, going out to fun parties with hot girls, and having sex with the attractive party girl types; they are not going to come these places.

Id call bullshit because its not actually fact but given reddit user trends ill concede the point.

So you have a guy who lets say he doesn't have that social circle of friends which at some colleges, unless you are in a fraternity, can be pretty hard to get. The guy doesn't have that value at this point (looks, money, etc.) to enjoy that kind of life right now. Problem is, for a guy like that, he eventually wants a taste of that life. A guy like that will eventually want to experience the kind of lifestyle that involves getting wasted, hanging with the bros, fucking some random women, partying out of his mind, and doing wild crazy shit.

Problem is, that's not really true. I was introverted, had mastered PUA when i was a sophomore and i never really had a want for that. When you realize its a bunch of sad people drinking or smoking the depression out of themselves, its really nothing to big to want. I actually preferred my college years in my apartment with a live in gf. Weekends were drinking and drugs plus whatever friends and i wanted to do, it was always a much better time, the women were actually worth being around too since i made friends with eastern europeans and khazaks.

Now some of us, we've been there, we've already done that, we found that it was overrated, and we found that it was not as fun as we thought it would be.

Bingo. It gets worse when you realize almost all conversation is basically improv theater, invisible spotlight determines who speaks their monologue, rest of the group will wait for someone to improvise either agreement (and attention), a joke (comedy), or a disagreement (drama). Nothing gets said anymore, hanging with empty people won't fill the want for a true conversation and partying with them doesn't make much of a difference.

Problem is, a lot of the guys asking for advice on how to experience that kind of life, they will never realize that until they have lived it. So for us to tell them "dude, partying and having sex with hot girls is overrated, just pick up a hobby like basket weaving when you're 30 and forget about all of that other stuff okay?", it doesn't help anyone at all. It is kinda like your parents who enjoyed drinking, partying, and sleeping around going out of their way to make sure you don't make the same "mistakes" that they did.

You forget that the wise learn from history while fools from experience. Some will get it.

For a guy who has, by circumstances, been subject to staying in and studying on a Friday night or just can't afford to party as much in college; he wants to eventually get a taste of that life. A lot of guys out there, deep down, want to experience that kind of life at least for a given period of time. In a way, we're like their parents when we tell them to be good boys and stick to basket weaving and traveling to "exotic locations".

Not really, we're telling them to go get laid in these locations which is why its not the same. Nothing stops them from partying now from going to a brazilian festival or some super event in asia. Theyre older and can pay to do these things or go to an EDM festival or events like SXSW. Really the people missing out only think so because they're too stupid to apply the same thinking that got them here to their problem of how can i party hard now.

What would be helpful in this situation is if we told them the how rather than the why. To help guys like this, we need to tell them how to put themselves in a situation to experience that kind of life after college or in their 30s when they have the resources to do so rather than talking them out of it.

Just tell em to go fucking do it if they want to. Plenty of events to hit up and places to see, they're just not bring proactive about it. Best thing to do is ask "well why cant you do that now that you have money and are self reliant?"

friendlysociopathic · 2015-11-22T20:38:10+00:00

Yes, and you should also give your 17 year old daughter who wants to experience the CC an all-expenses-paid trip to Miami and chad's mobile number so she can 'grow out of it'.

Noculum · 2015-11-23T03:12:39+00:00

Well, about a year or two ago I wanted to experience the whole night life thing, I really enjoyed it in the beginning but it gets old if you don't keep progressively taking harder and harder drugs. Alcohol only provides so much fun I guess

slcjosh · 2015-11-24T09:50:56+00:00

Just an FYI, the seduction forums are full of beta wanna be puss ass bitches. They step on their own dick to spite their own balls. Pick up and trp are not even remotely the same. Pickup becomes second nature when you fully swallow the pill.

Title	What the "partying, having fun, sleeping with hot girls is overrated and boring" crowd doesn't seem to understand.
Author	Mathiasblanc1
Upvotes	197
Comments	140
Date	November 22, 2015 8:09 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3tulr6/what_the_partying_having_fun_sleeping_with_hot/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/what-the-partying-having-fun-sleeping-with-hot.38348 https://theredarchive.com/post/38348

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