Why wives spend all your money

stonepimpletilists · 2017-01-15T22:07:07+00:00

They do this because guys forgot how to say no, and own it.

No commercial, no persuasion beats a man who says no.

Goateeki · 2017-01-16T19:46:06+00:00

Separate bank accounts. If you're living together, she pays half and you pay half. When she can't or won't pay half, end it. Don't ever become another person's supporter.

I know plenty of guys who insist that their wives work and pay half. Professionals -- doctors, lawyers. I've also heard plenty of older men say that a key to long term happiness is separate finances. I'm a big, big believer in this.

Also, it's a great way to avoid conflating money with affection. If you have separate finances, she'll never be able to say "if you love me, you'd buy this for me." You can legitimately respond with "you have the money to buy it."

Irresponsibility with money was one of the major reasons I divorced my wife. I was able to get the alimony down to a very, very low number, I kept the house and have the kids half the time. And even with the alimony, I still come out way ahead every month. For me, divorcing my wife was a positive economic benefit -- it was like getting a raise.

I use Quicken and as you'll all know, it tracks purchases beautifully. Shortly before I pulled the plug, I saw that she went to Starbucks 11 times in a five day period. I don't even know how someone could manage that. That's twice a day every day for five days, plus a third trip on one of those days. I'd speak rationally about these things with her and she'd act as if she understood it, but then she'd continue to buy all kinds of useless crap. She would always have a justification for it, too.

My girlfriend and I have separate residences but spend a huge amount of time together. Our lives are pretty well integrated. Neither of us has an intention to give up our own residences though we've talked about getting a third place together and probably will some day. We've already talked about money a lot and we both knew that we'll maintain separate finances. I don't want anything from her and I don't want her wanting anything from me. In fact, one of the major reasons the relationship works so well is that neither of us wants anything from the other except good conversation, a modicum of emotional support and sex.

Granted, we're not having children together and she doesn't have to work. Others will have to ask how practical separate finances would be for their situation. But, like I said, I know many men who mandate that their women work. Skin in the game, as they say.

Women are bred by nature to use men for their resources. Parasites, every one of them.

FrgElder · 2017-01-16T01:12:52+00:00

This is why you never pool resources with women. Whether it's in the early stages of dating or in marriage, you need to protect yourself. Ignore all the incentives to do so, because while it may seem smart on paper it will just end up biting you in the ass.

When it comes to women and money:

Never take them out for expensive dates before fucking them, just go for drinks.
Go dutch on everything, or establish a back and forth method of payment if it's more of an LTR type situation. This is obvious for dates but also includes bills, groceries, and rent.
Never get married.

If you feel the need to have children or get married:

Make them sign a prenup
Paternity test all children
Make her sign a prenup. Also make sure the prenup is solid, fair, and done by a competent and reputable lawyer. Judges can toss out prenups that they deem unfair at their discretion.
Make them work. Stay out home mothers made sense when a woman had to cook 3 meals a day, raise 3-5 children, clean the entire house, and know how to make/fix clothing and other house hold items. A stay at home mother was hard labor 100 years ago, these days all they do is sit at home. With advancements in technology and the variety of services offered, a stay at home mothers daily labor can be completed in less than 2 hours a day. The other 14 hours a day she spends awake will be finding more creative ways to waste your money, and then sitting around being bored. And we all know what happens when housewives get "bored".
If you decide that your wife isn't going to work (emphasis on this being your decision, ignore your wife's persuasions), give her an allowance and make sure all major purchases are done through you. I know a couple guys who make more in a year than their wives could hope to make in a lifetime. For them it just doesn't make sense to have their wife working, when you get to that level it also becomes a decision regarding their status (you're looked down on to have your wife working). Make sure she stays active in helping you with your job/career and taking care of the kids as a priority. You do not open a joint account, give her your credit card info (or open one for her in your name), or go over whatever you have budgeted for her allowance.

Women will routinely act like children when it comes to finances, especially those that don't work for a living. So you must treat them accordingly.

TomFoo · 2017-01-16T01:22:09+00:00

It makes sense in jobs too. Corporate buyer? Mostly women. Sales? Mostly men.

uniquevoid · 2017-01-16T05:58:38+00:00

Both my mother and father work and my mother is the one constantly telling my dad to stop buying useless shit. and he makes 4x what she makes

Guess what? my father was poor in his childhood. It comes from immaturity and lack of rather than 'just wanting to spend all your money cause evolution'

bigredchewinggum · 2017-01-16T01:28:59+00:00

Sounds like you're overanalyzing it.

What this guy's wife is doing is simply pushing boundaries like any ordinary human would do. Think about your first job you had as a teenager. If your manager didn't enforce the rules to a T, you would naturally keep pushing the limits to see what you can get away with. Goofing off and talking to coworkers on the clock, being lazy on the job, calling in sick to go to your friend's party etc.. Not because you're acting maliciously, but because it just happens. It's natural to act that way because sometimes following the rules interferes with our own personal MO.

On the east coast in America, jaywalkers are very rarely-if ever punished. I hear you get a ticket for jay walking in San Francisco. Where do you think you're more likely to find jaywalkers?

It's simply just a matter of enforcing the rules. This guy lets his wife walk all over him and spend $150 because he's not laying down the law with her. He just acts like that "OK guy" meme (the one that kinda looks like forever alone) and continues to allow her to abuse the system for her own benefit.

Obviously if you make a lot of money your woman/wife is going to want fancy dresses and dinners. But you can manage that and prevent it from snowballing out of control. In fact, you shouldn't be giving her any of that shit UNLESS YOU WANT TO

OneInAZillion · 2017-01-16T06:47:43+00:00

Why can't we save some of that money? It should make sense to have some money for rainy days, isn't it? But no, she spends it all, and more.

Why the fuck does he pretty much need her permission to save his own money?

Procrastin8n · 2017-01-16T05:02:38+00:00

I remember hearing an interesting theory about this - being that women have evolved to be the "gatherer" in our hunter - gatherer past. A successful gatherer hoards food - the more the better. A big hoard of food equals safety for the woman and the experience of going shopping brings out that gatherer instinct and can cause women to buy (gather) more than they need. This is why it this kind of spending tends to be more of a problem for women. Feeling unsafe can make it worse. The best way to tackle the issue is to make her aware of it - set some clear and firm boundaries about spending - being firm and in control of the situation will conversely help her to feel safer and therefor less likely to hoard/spend subconsciously.

TheRedStoic · 2017-01-15T23:41:27+00:00

Not if you simply say no.

Done. Simple. Just say no.

DoubleTappp · 2017-01-16T09:04:27+00:00

Meh, good initiative, bad judgement.

This isn't necessarily a women thing as much as it is a people thing.

People in general are terrible with money. They do not save. They do not plan. They have zero consideration for the future.

Ask a millennial what his financial goals are (Bonus points if he actually has some.) The answer they give is strikingly different from what a man his age would have said 50 years ago.

Point being, this "phenomenon" of poor money management is not limited to ze feeemales. Your roommate is bad at it. Your dad is bad at it. And most likely you suck at it as well.

Sorry to interrupt the circle jerk.

mdcrubengonza · 2017-01-16T02:36:52+00:00

I remember right before I ghosted on a plate, one of the last things she asked me was when I got paid. She was counting on my income to surplus her entertainment. No bitch, that shits mine.

EssencialToLife · 2017-01-16T03:24:49+00:00

It's up to you to stop her demands .. save it for rainy days

Control the money, for your sake, and hers.

True words. I have never allowed my wife to control my money. Separation of goods, separation of accounts, separation of bills. She pays her telephone, clothes, hobbies, and i pay mine. I pay the house and car because i want to and i decide which house it is and which car it is. If she wants fancy candles she pays them with her work. If she wants a new sofa she pays it (We have no fancy candles and an old sofa). If she wants fancy holidays she pays her half, but if she is nice i might invite her to the place i want to go.

If i had a common account i would be broke and divorced. Instead, i am wealthy, and she is poor, and i intend to keep it that way. Money is pure SMV.

revengeofthecrazy · 2017-01-16T09:06:52+00:00

I bought new LED lights for my car (500+). The old ones were weak and I don't have the best vision in darkness in winter and so on.

27 year old: "Nice to know where your priorities are..."

Really meaning: "I don't respect you as much anymore, so fuck your safety, your priorities, your life, become my beta cash machine you bitch, you should be spending your cash on pleasing me materially because I can't and don't want to take care of myself."

exit_sandman · 2017-01-16T10:23:20+00:00

To simplicistic, albeit what you're presenting might be an underlying additional reason for that behavior (though blowing money on useless shit is idiotic - if you want to tie up your partner's ressources, just have another kid instead; that way the money is at least spent on something worthwhile).

However, I have four alternative factors I want to see mentioned here.

being "badly trained": what most others were saying here - she isn't used to the partner saying "no"; and he never disabused her of that notion.
being spoiled: she's used to having more money at her disposal (possibly from a wealthy background) and will resent you if you don't achieve a similar wealth (i.e. either way you're paying).
being terrible with money, immature, irresponsible. Also very important.
being frustrated: she isn't happy with her life and her marriage, and blowing money for stupid shit is her outlet.

I think this is a huge factor when comes to vetting any potential partner. So, if a woman behaves like that, do a double check: Is her demand on how to spend your money reasonable and you refusing her would be irrational and/or needlessly stingy? Because if this doesn't apply, you can bet that one or more of the above does; and you don't want to date a woman who is guilty of any of the above.

That's why I love women who insist on you blowing 4k for a diamond engagement ring - it's basically them waving a huge red flag for everyone to see.

XanderS311 · 2017-01-16T14:46:24+00:00

I have a good friend whose wife "punishes" him by spending copious amounts of his money on useless shit every time he does something that she doesn't like, like daring to hang out with his male friends. She sits on her arse in the house that he is paying for watching mind-numbing TV shows and spending his money online whilst he has built a very successful business. WTF is she contributing to his life? I have no idea why hasn't just told her to fuck off.

segagaga · 2017-01-16T00:10:43+00:00

This is why in the modern relationship, no joint accounts is a must.

mikesteane · 2017-01-16T04:25:42+00:00

Simpler explanation: because he lets her.

writewhereileftoff · 2017-01-16T09:27:50+00:00

Interesting analysis. Spending his money ensures his money is invested in her instead of a rival female. I never looked at it like that.

Yashugan00 · 2017-01-16T14:52:21+00:00

I think you're onto something, evolutionary. Women have natural consumer mindset, they are resource acquisition terminators

badchad_isglad · 2017-01-16T17:54:55+00:00

Simple solution to this problem:

Don't get married

Or if married

Separate bank accounts. Give her an allowance that you adjust according to her behavior.

GenghisKhanSpermShot · 2017-01-16T05:11:30+00:00

This is dumb, guys are just as bad at spending. I sucked at saving and my wife is the one that showed me better ways of saving and not spending money. Guys may spend different, like on car mods or entertainment or whatever but we waste money too.

NakedAndBehindYou · Mon Jan 16 5:09:00 2017 UTC

There has to be a reason for this behavior.

Behind most addicts is an enabler. He is enabling her spending habits by providing the money. All he has to do is grow a spine and say no.

From what I learned about evolution and red pill theory, there is a reason. She wants your money tied up to her. All surplus has to be spent by her and her children. She can't risk that your extra wealth is used to start a new relationship.

This type of theory crafting is why evolutionary psychology is a joke form of science. It's all theory, no empiricism. The more obvious answer is that some people are just stupid, greedy, and narcissistic and spend whatever money they can get their hands on.

scissor_me_timbers00 · 2017-01-16T03:27:42+00:00

They do it cuz they're driven to make their lives look like a fuckin magazine, cuz that's what their self esteem derives from.

yomo86 · 2017-01-16T08:50:05+00:00

They behave like government agencies. The budget you don't spend will result in a further reduced budget. A woman is totally aware of how much she spent like a child is aware that their allowance for the month ran out. But you know what? The more they complain about not getting enough - eventually their allowance is raised.

This was what my first gf's mom told me as a joke in a more feminine way. "She has to spent because otherwise life will just be pragmatic".

TALzFGxawb · 2017-01-16T16:08:48+00:00

this was one of my saving graces even in my heaviest blue pill days. one of the feminist things i took to heart was that it's creepy to buy women dinner and gifts, so i basically never paid for anything

CallMeHaseo · 2017-01-16T19:00:44+00:00

I'm surprised more men don't take advantage of the word "no"

Mckallidon · 2017-01-17T01:24:05+00:00

Why Wives Spend All Your Money....

If your wife spends all your money then you're an idiot. If she is smart enough to find your money if you know what you're doing, then her dad probably has more than you anyways.

ecosci · 2017-01-17T02:18:03+00:00

Sometimes you gotta let things go to shit like lights being turned off or utilities it creates drama and wakes her up to the real world now of course you go crash at your friends with a smirk on your face while she panics to her friends thats why women love unstable men it gives her tingles plus she gets to be the victim so get your own bank acct asap she cant be trusted with $.

butter_coffee · 2017-01-21T01:07:04+00:00

It's female solipsism. They only care about themselves and have never had to work for anything in their life, so they don't know the hard work that goes into making money. Why be frugal when you can use your husbands money and give into instant gratification?

Entropy-7 · 2017-01-16T01:47:41+00:00

Here are three types of women.

1) Top tier women who support you and your family. They take care of the house, the kids and social agenda so you are free to make shit loads of money and gain status. I have not figured out the odds of them turning against you once you "make it"

2) There are the place holders who do the minimum to take care of the kids and keep the house,

3) the silver diggers who nag you to work to the bone to provide.

There are gold diggers and a bunch of others but these seem to be the most prevalent types in married-with-kids contexts.

TACTICALBLONDEBIMBO · 2017-01-16T04:28:31+00:00

If I ever do get married, with the kind of girls I like, I expect my wife to probably be one of those fashionista types who likes heels, and shit that cost a thousand or more a pair. Is what it is. Know what kind of upbringing and what she likes before you marry the girl. Pretty simple. If she comes from a ver wealthy or even upper middle class upbringing. Yeah you're wife is going to want alot of expensive things.

valdirtheblue · 2017-01-15T22:56:35+00:00

Not so much about evolution, rather economics. My last and only LTR cost me everything I had because I WAS willing to pay my unicorn's way through life. Personally, I won't be cohabiting with a woman, marrying, nor sharing any funds with her in the future. Luckily, I'm only 24 and got burnt young. Lesson learned. Each to their own.

TrumpRules2016 · 2017-01-16T01:09:34+00:00

$150 on scented candles? I'm a guy who likes scented candles and you can find some good ones for like a tenth of that price.

ChinatownSavage · 2017-01-16T15:50:09+00:00

This is not 100 percent true.Many women just love to spend money on dumb shit. Its like its somehow ingrained in their DNA.. I have many female family members that were single, but still found a way to spend money in useless and dumb shit.

ChinatownSavage · 2017-01-16T15:50:09+00:00

This is not 100 percent true.Many women just love to spend money on dumb shit. Its like its somehow ingrained in their DNA.. I have many female family members that were single, but still found a way to spend money in useless and dumb shit.

Insydeinformation · 2017-01-17T01:25:45+00:00

The beta male has evolved to be the slave to woman. His complaints are meaningless

MrAnderzon · 2017-01-15T22:36:11+00:00

Your suppose to let them know how much you really make

ArkAngelEV · 2017-01-16T19:41:46+00:00

They do this because they are vipers and moths. Unbridled and unrestrained consumption is all they understand

ryeFL · 2017-01-15T22:25:12+00:00

It's not about any evolutionary psychology. It's about economics: she has money to spend and you give her access. Look up "moral hazard" ( hint it has nothing to do with metaethics )

Title	Why wives spend all your money
Author	redolas
Upvotes	114
Comments	82
Date	January 15, 2017 9:55 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5o6orr/why_wives_spend_all_your_money/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/why-wives-spend-all-your-money.40046 https://theredarchive.com/post/40046

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