[FR] Failed Shit Test Analysis

cholomite · 2017-03-06T22:47:33+00:00

You care too much about your wife and her validation and recognition of you. You're able to handle a shit storm of 2000 people and chaos, but your wife throws you a little shade over some extra ounces of soda and you let it ruin your weekend? You're better than that, you just told us all about it. Your wife is not some special snowflake worth impressing. Do you and DNGAF about anyone else.

It was definitely a shit test, and it was actually pretty mild and tame as far as shit tests go, but sometimes those are the sneakiest ones. Walking away wasn't too bad, it's your butthurt attitude later that will make you look like a bitch. I would have just laughed and pretended to spray her like a wet shirt contest or something. It honestly doesn't matter as long as you truly don't give a fuck.

Something that helps me when dealing with shit tests is to smile. As soon as shit starts going south with her, get a big smile and it will put you in a headspace to let it roll off you and you can more easily come back with something light and playful. At least it helps me sometimes.

Good job with the crazy event, don't let some petty soda bullshit mess you up like that again.

sexyshoulderdevil · 2017-03-06T22:53:51+00:00

Eh, it was a shit test to a degree but you fucked up with the lack of common sense by dropping off a giant 2L bottle. If the situation was reversed, you might have looked at her like she was an idiot for also not grabbing a few cups to go with a 2L bottle since you were stuck at the table.

I would have joked and said "...you looked REALLY thirsty. No worries...I'll grab some cups." Fix the issue and then drop it.

If she overacted and was extremely disrespectful, then take it as she still sees you as a fuck up who does random dumb shit. So...Get better at not doing random dumb shit.

SeamusAwl · 2017-03-06T22:27:09+00:00

Since it looks like there was more than one woman with your wife, i would have dead panned "you are not the only one i was thinking about" and walked off. Leaving them with no cups.

prarrott · 2017-03-06T22:52:30+00:00

If you didn't outwardly express your discontent with her reaction, I dont think you failed any test. If you would have set some weak, unenforceable boundry, or made some snide comment acknowledging her disrespect-- then you would have failed. If this was even a test. Kind of just sounds like an AWALT wife moment.

Who cares how she responds? Your reaction internally is what should be of most concern to you. If this little interaction can get your hamster spinning that wildly, then you are still so deep into her frame. You do what needs to get done, and are happy to do so. You move through life with strength, purpose and conviction. None of this is phased by any reaction from her - positive or negative.

weakandsensitive · 2017-03-07T03:44:12+00:00

Newbie mindset.

Advanced mindset is this "why am I doing something for someone who doesn't appreciate it?" Answer is "I'm not."

It's not even a fucking frame thing. There is nothing about frame here. Nothing based on reality or worldview.

It wasn't a shit test. A shit test implies some sort of testing. She didn't test shit. You've got all this bullshit and fluff that guys can try to tell themselves to make themselves feel better. "It's not my fault, it was <X>, <Y>, <Z> bullshit reason. It's something I can learn to be better at." No! There is nothing to be learned here.

The only thing there is is the fact that you've demonstrated that you're willing to accept being treated like a bitch. Reap what you sow faggot.

2ndal · 2017-03-06T22:37:16+00:00

You're right! It was was a shit test. Lots of things you could have done to shut it down while not appearing butthurt.

(Your idea of saying "Oh you're right!" and then leaving with the DC never to be seen again is not great. You'd come across as too butthurt.)

I'm not too quick with A&A when in the moment, so if it were me I probably wouldn't have said anything beyond "oh yeah, it's a little big isn't it?" and then gone about my business.

RBuddDwyer · 2017-03-06T23:12:59+00:00

I could have AA’d and said something like “Oh your right!” This is so inconvenient”, then walked off with the diet coke never to be seen again all day or something to that effect.

That's not really A&A, there is no back handedness to it. I would have just called her princess, chucked, and moved on. Or, if you really wanted to get her, say, "it's diet, I figured you needed it." But this is pretty next level shit.

anythinginc · 2017-03-06T23:44:35+00:00

gets snarky as it is not as convenient as the 20oz bottle.

Baby, you know I always bring you the big one that can last all day.

Wink, smirk, walk away swinging your dick.

Possible shit test overload followup:

That was so inappropriate I can't believe you said that!

Love you too babe, mwuah, see ya later...

Sounds like you had this nice frame all day but in your wife's presence you let your guard down and let her blow it up. Need to work on having that same frame with your wife. She's not a special snowflake, you are not her little bitch, you can still have fun with her. Swing your dick, practice amused mastery.

2L should have come with cups and ice though, we all know that.

My bad bae

Move on.

bogeyd6 · 2017-03-07T01:03:41+00:00

My first look is why the fuck are you drinking Diet Coke. Iced tea or water is a better choice for both of you. Anyways this is not a shit test. This what I call a public display of disrespect. Hell my wife still does it and I pull her off to the side and tell her to straighten the fuck up. She does it because she can and others agree with her.

drty_pr · 2017-03-07T13:23:22+00:00

Could you have slipped out to a store and bought a pack of mentos, needle and thread. Then put the needle through the mentos with the string attached. Then put the mentos in the bottle and keep it out of the pop with the string as you tighten the cap back on. Then cut the string so she can't see it. Then BOOM! when she opens it.

Or stop being a pussy and letting such trivial shit mean anything to you. You need frame bro. Get to a point where her emotions mean so little to you because you know you are treating her solid and her feelz are just that.

Terribledragon4Hire · 2017-03-07T14:00:13+00:00

I have been in similar situations and my wife has responded similarly. I have often responded with: look at her and say "thanks husband for grabbing that for me". Then walking away.

Comments?

ReddJive · 2017-03-07T16:00:17+00:00

STFU is a fine response to a shit test. It's what you do when you're unplugging or well....to show her it's a bullshit to begin with.

I am going to point out the mild covert contract you wrote here, which is why you feel like it's a big deal.

The day was going awesome. RP man you are had everything in control and was, by all accounts, killing it. Then your snowflake asked you a favor, which seemed reasonable.

Right there you think doing this task will garner you some level of godhood. Instead shit test ensued and you go butthurt.

You guys come in here like Frame is literally some sort of shield you erect with the Force. It isn't. It's the context with which you define your world. She gives a snarky comment about something you did. Smile. Walk away. Why does her reaction matter? Did you really expect to get kudos?

Her world was one of suck at that moment and she showed you it sucked. Because you did nothing to make it better to her mind. She not only wanted to show you how much her world sucked but couldn't understand why you weren't feeling it as well.

What's your response? Wink, smile, whatever, but then walk away. Did she really deserver any more attention at that point? Was it really that bad? any one die?

Do you see how all this is interconnected? It's just not one thing it's all things.

Downhere_Seeds · 2017-03-10T22:53:54+00:00

This is awesome! Did you take the 2L back and get her something "more convenienent"? Hell no, you non nonchalantly brought her a styrofoam cup to go with it! HAHA! That was alpha, your mistake was not sticking your chest out and being proud of it.

Title	[FR] Failed Shit Test Analysis
Author	RecoveringBPAddict
Upvotes	4
Comments	39
Date	March 6, 2017 10:12 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5xwc2f/fr_failed_shit_test_analysis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/fr-failed-shit-test-analysis.206450 https://theredarchive.com/post/206450