Recovery after backsliding

discobolus_ · 2016-11-04T18:53:56+00:00

First, what's the low hanging fruit for you? What's the easiest/most fun/least awful thing to improve? What gives the most results? Do those first. You get momentum from these. If it's lifting, focus on that. If it's your job, focus there. Be successful at something and when that's routine, add the next easiest thing.

Second don't depend on "Motivation". It will eventualy wane, no matter how hardcore you start out. Depend on discipline and routine. You have to want this more than you want your vices. If you don't prioritize the work, it won't be a priority.

Third, don't feel guilty. Guilt fuels your drive for the vices. Don't think "I failed again". Just start over the next day.

A few hacks I use to keep myself on point. If you work an off shift or are a student, maybe they don't jive with your life, but these work for me:

Wake up early. I get up at 5-515 each morning. I drink coffee, read, and make breakfast and ease into the day. It's my favorite part of every day. Added bonus: Waking up at 5 means I'm tired enough to go to sleep by 930 or 10 each night. For me, night was when I'd give in to an extra drink or three, or eating horrible foods, watching porn until 1 AM, or just staying up watching TV. I don't get those drives in the morning, so I skew my awake time to include more morning hours, fewer night time hours.
When you get home, don't relax. Lift, do your shit around the house - pick up, do dishes, make dinner, fix the garage door, build a birdhouse, have a bonfire, play with your kids/dogs if you have them....do something. If I sit down, there's a 40% chance I don't get up for the rest of the night. If I don't get up, I'm giving into bad habits. You'll find you have way more energy if you just keep going.
If you don't want to lift...like really don't want to lift, just go to the gym and do ONE lift. If you can do your first lift - your 5x5 squats or whatever day it is - and you still feel shitty and you don't want to be there, you have permission to go home and chalk it up to 'one of those days' , guilt free. Get 'em next time. Chances are, you won't leave, though. You'll stay and finish. Since I implemented this plan a few years ago, I've wanted to skip lifting dozens of times...but I've only walked out after one lift three times.

Maybe these aren't your thing, but they work for me. But the concept is find your weak points, your excuses, and cut them out. Know yourself and minimize your weaknesses.

2ndal · 2016-11-04T16:29:29+00:00

Fuck motivation. You need discipline. Nothing else really matters.

RuleZeroDAD · 2016-11-04T17:40:42+00:00

What about the core habits that lead to all of this other bullshit?

Procrastination? Reactive behaviors?

I'm staying on your ass, because the legal profession gets enough flak already for being drunk, wasting time, "working smart" instead of working hard, and settling (seeking instant gratification).

Get out of your head and into the gym. You are bright but undisciplined.

ragnorak71 · 2016-11-04T16:37:43+00:00

Failure is part of progress and we have to accept it. One of the best pieces of advice I was given: 'Don't make the same mistake twice, learn from it.' Same with you, the failures are not a reason for us to stop mate, they are a means to drive us to try harder and know we can go further because we can see where we failed this time.

Pick yourself up and go again

deadsandsushi · 2016-11-04T17:43:41+00:00

Stop giving yourself permission (that's what you're doing) to skip the gym, drink, watch porn and be lazy. You are allowing yourself to do this.

Make these non-negotiable:

Lifting 3-5 times a week.
Not drinking more than 1 alcoholic drink a week, if any.
Not watching porn.
Not sitting around playing with your dick instead of getting shit done.

Forget about getting applause and parades for adherence. Motivation fades; discipline and dedication stick. Do not give yourself leeway to fail.

Logic over feels. The only one you can hold responsible is you.

Also, read this: http://www.leangains.com/2011/09/fuckarounditis.html

And think that every time you skip the gym, I'm there making you look like a pussy.

redxanaxe · 2016-11-04T16:17:24+00:00

Hold your self accountable. Make a plan and stick to it. Don't make decisions based on how you feel, that's what women do.

If you can't respect your self enough to follow through, nobody else will ever respect you.

screechhater · 2016-11-04T21:52:12+00:00

Kill your television, prep all your meals read the sidebar

Realize the sooner you put in the work, the sooner it pays off Remember that when you are staring at the box of donuts

BluepillProfessor · 2016-11-05T01:19:54+00:00

Rebooting is not harder than starting over. It is a lot easier. You made some progress before and you start from that point not the beginning.

BobbyPeru · 2016-11-05T03:33:28+00:00

It's normal - think about it - you're only 2 months in after years of betaization. Don't beat yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back on the horse. Reflection on what you can/could change is different than self pity.

RP_SuitScholar · 2016-11-05T16:13:35+00:00

This is a principle I wish more men understood: Discipline, not motivation, is the key to success. The Navy Seals have a saying, if it doesn't suck we don't do it. When you are weak and soft like the OP you wait to feel motivated to work out and accomplish your goals. Motivation is fickle and your brain will actually use logic against you to de-motivate you from doing things that suck (cause stress/release cortisol). That's why when you wake up early to work out your hamster kicks in with a dozen really good arguments on why today can be a rest/cheat day.

Fuck motivation. Embrace discipline. Discipline says "I am going to do this BECAUSE it sucks." Then an amazing thing happens...you actually end up liking it.

40mullet · 2016-11-07T07:05:43+00:00

Serious question, how tall are you?

Title	Recovery after backsliding
Author	ViriliterAge
Upvotes	6
Comments	49
Date	November 4, 2016 4:12 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5b4g7p/recovery_after_backsliding/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/recovery-after-backsliding.206919 https://theredarchive.com/post/206919

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