I was laying in bed with my SO And I forgot I had to do some work on my phone. I said out loud shit I forgot to do my work order. After I filll it out i text a buddy of mine and then lay down for bed.

My SO says you done cheatin? (inside joke we have everytime I’m out of the house etc) I say yes. Then my phone starts vibrating from the text my buddies sending. She asks who it is. I say one of my girlfriends clearly sarcastic. She flips over all pissed off. And then says youre rude. Imagine if I said that to you” I said I’d laugh. She said it’s a stupid answer. I say. Ask stupid questions get stupid answers.

She said asking who’s texting you in the middle of the night is not a stupid question. I said stop being insecure. She starts flipping out. I stfu or fogged. Too late I know. But in the moment I blank.

But I keep fucking up every step of the way. I feel like I actually am autistic. All I do is read this stuff and it’s not Stucking with me. like these new behaviors are coming off so out of character and shady I feel.

It’s causing more shit than if I just would of explained it’s just my buddy but that would be considered DEERing.

Now this morning our son wakes up at 630. He’s content for a half hour and then starts getting whiny right before I have to leave for work.

This goes on for a half an hour she’s not waking up to get him. I run back upstairs to grab my phone and leave. he must hear me and starts crying again. My wife throw her hands in the air and goes are you serious?

I say can you get him. She gets up and stomp away all pissed off my to get him. I leave for work. She calls me. Saying this and that about how I woke him up and then was rude asking her to go get him.

I say he’s been up for an hour. what’s the problem? She starts bitching and I go off. She gets to sleep in everyday God forbid she has to wake up and tend to our son before 10 o’clock for a day. It’s so absurd to me that I have to explain this shit to her. And I know I should stfu but I can’t help it sometimes. How does she not understand that our hungry son is more important than her 10 hours of beauty sleep.

I keep telling myself not to DEER but then think how is she going to understand if I don’t explain how stupid her thinking is.

I’m trying to apply what I’m reading but I feel I’m not fucking getting it. I’m all over the fucking place. I read so many things do this. Don’t do that. It’s confusing the shit out of me. Has anyone dealt with this on their journey or am I just retarded and missing the whole point?

She ended up apologizing for both instances but I still know I handled them like shit