Wife prefers it slow

ReddJive · 2017-11-04T10:46:49+00:00

my wife apparently hates all that stuff

with you.

beta_no_mo · 2017-11-04T09:07:01+00:00

Coming from a dude who went from duty sex to her screaming "I love being daddy's whore" with her face in a pillow, it's almost purely a reflection of her perception of your SMV (OYS, OYS, OYS), how much she's attracted to you (lift and OYS) and therefore how much she trusts you sexually and nonsexually.

Domination of a woman is a product of attraction and trust (unless she's just one of those damaged women that loves to be used by anyone). She has to be attracted (see: you must OYS to be worthy of her submission) and she has to trust that you're in control of yourself so she can let go and enjoy your desires as her own.

Every woman wants a man that is worthy of following in and out of the bedroom. OYS outside the bedroom and watch her blossom when the lights go out (or when you make her leave them on and watch).

resolutions316 · 2017-11-04T11:11:47+00:00

Human sexuality is a combination of reproductive drives, social conditioning, personal history, physical make up, relationship dynamics, and momentary issues (like the kids crying or whatever).

Every person will have a complex and completely unique combination of these going on in their heads at any moment.

That said, The problem here is that you’re so concerned about how she feels that you’re unable to immerse yourself in the actual event. This is a classic nice guy situation and it’s going to lead to you constantly doing what “works” to get the reaction from her you seek.

This makes everything completely boring, and boring is unattractive.

Definitely see to her needs. But also give yourself permission to just pursue your own needs every once in a while.

hystericalbonding · 2017-11-04T10:37:17+00:00

Do we accept that all women have different likes/dislikes when it comes to sex and not all like it rough?

Nope. All women are exact carbon copies of one another, with no preferences or minds of their own.

Dominance - give and take pleasure as you desire in the moment. That doesn't necessarily mean D/s unless that's your kink. Rough stuff out of thin air is also kinda weird. It makes more sense if things are intense, which requires EVI.

Emotion is the reason normal people like sex more than masturbation. I don't have a sense of where you are with that.

Variety means it's sometimes fast, sometimes slow, sometimes silly, sometimes with a donkey and two midgets. Sometimes she gets her slow sex, maybe for the whole session, maybe for part. Sometimes you get what you crave at that moment. Experiment as you become more attractive.

Immersion may be missing on your end.

Neoduder · 2017-11-04T12:58:25+00:00

I don't post much here as being 31% Body Fat it's clear that my initial single goal for the next year is to stop being a Fat Fuck.

Having said that, my wife was/is not unlike yours in that she generally professes to prefer slow/romantic love making. Over the past couple of months of lifting, keto and IF, I'm beginning to look slightly more masculine and I have been toying with being more dominant with her. My wife is definitely coming around to liking a good hard pounding and has even recently responded well to me smacking her ass and calling her "my little whore".

Seems in my experience that there is a definite link between attraction and sexual energy with women (kinda obvious when you think about it)

Getting the best sex of my life these days after only a couple of months of work and I still consider myself at the very very start of my journey. Will be interesting to see what happens when I'm 15% body fat and jacked. Think my cock might fall off. :)

Triadis3 · 2017-11-04T10:05:21+00:00

You're living in her frame, capitulating and subverting your own needs.

Of course she can't be submissive to such a submissive man.

You need to start leading. Only when you're dominant can she be submissive.

Your bedroom life mirrors your external dynamic.

So, I'm willing to bet you're the stereotypical "nice guy" and "feel guilty when you say no".... If there were only two books over on the sidebar with similar titles that could start you on your journey to becoming a man that your wife want to fuck the shit out of....

Get to work. You want pornstar sex you need to be a pornstar for her.

2 submissives cannot have a mutually satisfying sex life.

u/matrixtospartanatLV

has a step by step plan you can follow to realize that you can become the man you want to be. DO it.

BluepillProfessor · 2017-11-04T17:05:31+00:00

this is how she gets off.

That's your answer. Rough sex is not an AWALT.

Watch what they DO, not what they SAY! If she cums one way and not another those are ACTIONS that you should watch very carefully.

On the other hand, if YOU like it rough, then mix it up a bit. One for her, one for me. Or fuck her hard the first time that night and then take it slow and gentle the next time.

HB3234 · 2017-11-06T02:35:36+00:00

Some women orgasm from slower stimulation. It isn't am alpha or beta thing. However, if she wants to do other styles and paces and positions than only her favorite -- that is a reflection of you. I can only orgasm in a handful of positions, but that does not mean those are the only ones in the repertoire-- just that they must be included at some point.

How deep you can go is also a function of how turned on she is. When turned on, the vagina relaxes and "tents"- penetration that is amazing when fully aroused can be agonizing without it. So, definitely OYS with your technique, foreplay, oral, etc.

straius · 2017-11-04T15:20:42+00:00

She will come around once other aspects come around. When she comes to a place where she wants to please you, feels guilty when she doesn't then "discovering" these aspects of her sexuality will become exciting to her. From her perspective, this will be part of the "journey" she's on with you in which she "discovers new things" about herself and it all becomes part of the play in the relationship.

You have to remember she isn't consciously thinking about rougher sex and deciding "nah, not with him." It's emergent in her behavior and a function of feeling secure/safe.

What is missing is the inspiration for her to reach for areas of sex that may have been intimidating, culturally taboo, "she's just not sexy like that," etc...

When she feels like she is in a relationship with a man she can let her fears go (whether that's intimacy, reliability, being available for the kids, etc...) the she will want to be more sexually attractive to you and also want to invest herself in sexuality that might create some anxiety (which will heighten the thrill factor).

It's a process and it won't break like a dam. It will happen gradually over time.

screechhater · 2017-11-04T18:43:59+00:00

Read this

Then open your eyes when your read this

Then read this, over and over again

I hope you are lifting.

And, I hope you look @ all these romance novel covers and see what eye candy (you) can be for her....especially when you operate in your frame

let us know in about six months

Rian_Stone · 2017-11-05T04:11:18+00:00

You do realize there's like 23 hours of foreplay and a certain personality behind that, right?

Pplegault · 2017-11-06T15:05:10+00:00

"AWALT" does not mean that every woman is identical to every other woman.

SgtSilverBack · 2017-11-04T14:45:09+00:00

I hope you can see the common theme. Your wife is a reflection if you. In this case her lack of enthusiastic sex is a reflection of you as a man.

Let that sink in.

I truly believe that there are multiple anger stages in regards to MRP. And much like the greif stages it is not linear. You can progress and regress as you out in work.

The above might make you regress, or feel like your situation is different. It is not, make your life awesome as you define it and it will be awesome to include your sexlife.

So take a couple hours and do some real honest introspection. Think about, AT minimum, the following areas:

-is your financial life squared away? Note: this isn't how much money you bring in. It is how you manage it. Are bills paid on time Everytime, preferably by you unless required that she pay it. Do you have a plan for your financial life? You don't have to be there you have to progress to there.

-are you fit? If you don't have a true vision for your fitness, use someone else till you find one. If it's powerlifting, cross fitting, marathoning....the reality is it doesn't matter if it's your vision and you pursue it. If you are overweight any of those are a viable path, find it.

-are you fun? You don't have to be the literal life of the party, but you should not be affected by her mood as much as I bet you are. Enjoy your life. This, I think, is one of the hardest problems for new MRPers. They get so pensive about his actions, her actions, meanings. They don't see improvement and withdrawal at the very least mentally into themselves. They may not be intentionally withdrawing time and attention, they are just living and that's it.

-what do you want? For anything. For any part of your life what do you want. Pick something small and go from there.

I have talked with alot of Doms and subs and much like the other responders mentioned or alluded to a woman will submit to a dominant man. If she gave submission freely it's not worth anything. The exact way we say your time is valuable to you and if you just give it away you decrease it's value.

The reality is, your path isn't that hard. You don't have to fit her idea of an alpha or dominant man. You need to fit your idea of it (Frame) be your own man and she will gravitate towards you.

alucard205 · 2017-11-04T11:13:27+00:00

My first question is what do YOU like? Do you really know? Have you ever just been 100%in charge of a woman and had her loving every second of your dominance? If not, then consider the possibility that you're autistic AF when you try to caveman your wife. If it's not natural (or at least SEEMS natural) in the moment, of course she won't like it. Secondly, are you in shape yet, or still a soft bellied, average Joe with maybe a little case of the bitch tits? This matters more than you think. I can promise you that from personal experience. LIFT, LIFT, LIFT! Lastly, do you lead outside the bedroom? Do you dominate your LIFE? You can't dom your wife until you dom your life. Would you trust you? Would you follow you? Would you FUCK you? Be honest with yourself and get to work on whichever areas need it. Where you lead, she will follow...IF you are worthy to be followed.

88Will88 · 2017-11-06T02:40:11+00:00

Can’t believe I am saying this but they aren’t all into rough sex. Some girls do prefer more gentle/ touchy sex. Others really get off in the hair pulling/ rough sex. So long as she is open to different positions and blows you, I don’t necessarily think this means she sees you as beta.

wolvesnsheeps · 2017-11-07T20:00:31+00:00

Women are definitely different from one another. There are a handful of traits where AWALT the rest is the differences. Bottom line, you've been fucking her all this time how she enjoys it. That's great. Now time to talk to her about what you want/like. Does she really give off the signs that she doesn't like it? Or is this all in your head because you know she "prefers" it the other way? There is an oceans worth of space between hates it, likes it, loves it.

eiue · 2017-11-04T17:08:33+00:00

Realize most men here are a certain type (used to be alpha jocks, etc). So they attracted a certain type of girl (ditsy Staceys). They got fat, and are now fixing that. But they still have those slutty club girls. Those are the type that like it rough.

Title	Wife prefers it slow
Author	Technostatin
Upvotes	17
Comments	43
Date	November 4, 2017 8:49 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7apljj/wife_prefers_it_slow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/wife-prefers-it-slow.205207 https://theredarchive.com/post/205207

Comments