Am I a slut?

nathanisfat · 2016-03-15T08:19:39+00:00

/r/redpillwomen

RPshade · 2016-03-15T13:00:18+00:00

35 Comments on a post by a girl asking a dumb ass question.

You guys are not thirsty as fuck.

MattyAnon · 2016-03-15T12:56:33+00:00

I have slept with four men in total.

So 12 then.

_red_carpet · 2016-03-15T13:52:20+00:00

I think you came here to figure out the best "lie" to tell this guy you're interested in and adjust what you tell him accordingly. My advice is, instead of lying, simply do not volunteer this information unless he asks for it. 4, while it's not an astronomical number, is still not 0, and he will not want to know unless he asks.

But when he does ask, you shouldn't lie because he WILL eventually find out...and dump you for it. I promise. Whether it's when you're drunk and trickle truth, or you tell a story and the names don't match up, or later when he's talking to your friends who know, or perhaps when he asks who a particular facebook friend/guy texting you is, whatever.

And even if he never finds out, you will have to hide it for however long the relationship is- maybe your entire life. This will be exhausting. Also a relationship based on lies is just messed up and will cause trust problems down the road- either because he finds out you're a liar or because you will form insecurities about your own behavior and project them on to him.

Please see /r/redpillwomen

AFCdood · 2016-03-15T08:09:11+00:00

Not sure what fantasyland the guys saying 4 is too much are living in. Any guy will assume way worse than 4 if he wants to know and you avoid answering. Good luck finding a 23 yo with less than 10...

Archwinger · 2016-03-15T10:25:54+00:00

Different guys vary. I'd pretend to be fine with you until after we'd fucked. Going home with a random dude from a bar? Fucking some "boyfriend" while abroad under the cover that it's okay since it's a "relationship"? Those are slut-tells. If you'd cop to those, I'd assume there are twenty other guys you're hiding.

Even if those really were your only sexual deviances, they demonstrate bad judgment over something really important, like sex. A propensity for sluttiness, given the right circumstances.

Frankly, if it were more than two weeks and we weren't fucking like you were with your short term "boyfriend", I'd know exactly where I really stand with you.

But most guys would probably be okay with your history.

rektum_expander · 2016-03-15T12:45:08+00:00

What about random BJ's? Were those counted too? I have asked a lot of women and they tell me they don't consider it sex, but, I mean, it's in the name. Oral Sex. I just have this feeling the number is much higher.

nastynickdr · 2016-03-15T12:25:25+00:00

Dont feed the troll guys

SkorchZang · 2016-03-15T06:30:03+00:00

He has a lot of integrity, and I am nervous about how he might react to this information.

As a baseline, don't willingly provide him any information. See what he does and does he question you about that history further. It may well end there, if you just don't blab it out, and all is well that ends so well!

Allow him to blab all HIS history to you, then act like you're a special snowflake unicorn, you're looking at all men (especially him) with wide-eyed wonder and admiration for their conquests, and your own "experience" if it can be called that is really so small, you don't get out much. Shy girl, what can ya do...meanwhile, you're HIS little slut in bed.

Everyone's happy.

You're the good girl, honest and forthcoming, I get it. But the bottom line we've got to look at, is that to a man, if the amount of dick you had is greater than 0, some part of him is going to be cringing and automatically lowering your value. You are a woman, your job is to weave the amazing illusion that draws him in, and then create a cozy nest that keeps him forever yours. You can easily see how excessive blab really works against you in this being-a-woman situation.

Best of luck with this and future men! You got it!

Pie_keeper · 2016-03-15T15:05:06+00:00

You can have a low number as 4 men under your belt and be a slut and you can have a large number as 80 and not be. The "slut" thing comes with the a) The hamstering and b) whether you are a widow or not. If there is one of these four guys that can still make you quiver with lust, but nevertheless you pursue the LTR with the "great guy" then that is the "slut" light that shines through.

The way I see The Red Pill is just being honest and decent to others. Men not acting like "good guys" just to get rewarded with pussy and girls not acting like "Oh I'm so special" just to twist their personal narrative so as to forget that they where giving a bj to a random guy in a bar bathroom last Wednesday. "Gaming" others by giving a false representation of yourself should be -and is- condemnable.

How would you feel if you found out that this guy gave Gucci bags to his former gf while you have to suck his dick and make him breakfast just to buy you a ticket for the movies? This is how a person -who is not at the same page as to what the value of sex is- sees it when he finds out that you had a FWB and/or hallf a dozen of ONS. He has to "buy" what another guy got for free. So if you like him more than the other guys, great. But if you don't also lust him more, then reconsider the LTR with that man.

What it all comes down to is to be truthful to him and most importantly to yourself. Wanting a RTL with a "great guy" just because is the un-slutty thing to do or he's the "right one" on paper, while you close your eyes and fantasize about Chad is no way to live your life or his life.

With all this said, your personal history is no business of his and we all have our demons. It's part of being an adult.

oldredder · 2016-03-15T09:38:02+00:00

This is a rare and low number. No it's not slutty.

xorchids · 2016-03-15T10:19:53+00:00

lol someone's writing out their fantasies

rpdarkydark · 2016-03-15T09:36:09+00:00

Your number should not be discussed or divulged, its slutty to do so. Your number being 4@23 is completely low based on the averages so you will look untruthful: take your choice between looking slutty, untruthful or oversharing because those are the choices. A true lady is mysterious in an alluring way.

I've dated a girl that had an unlikely low number but I didn't care about that number so it got her no benefit with me. Then I found out she dined with her creepy landlord once a month to get a discount on her rent and that low number girl seemed liked the biggest slut I could imagine. My advice is to underthink the importance of your number, nearly no one cares.

Lofibasking · 2016-03-15T10:02:51+00:00

My opinion on you and your sexual history is irrelevant. You want some type of validation or scolding, find it elsewhere.

You need to ask yourself a few questions. Do not answer them here it will only result in dishonesty attempting to come across as a "good" person.

1: If the only way you could have and keep this man was to lie to him about your sexual history, would you do it? 2: Would you sleep/do anything sexual with him if you two were not officially in a relationship? 3: What would you do if he expressed he could not be in a relationship with someone he did not know if he was sexually compatible with? 4: What would you do if he had no interest in an LTR with you? 5: Are you of the belief that if someone cannot accept you as you are, you are not meant to be with them?

akasomeoneelse · 2016-03-15T14:15:31+00:00

You don't come close to what I would call a slut.

If you want to keep this guy for the long term and he does not read TRP, I would suggest not sleep with him too early. If he is looking for something more casual, he will get what he wants and have less incentive for a serious long term relationship.

Most men on TRP want to have sex pretty early in the relationship and not necessarily commit.

You need to do the opposite. You need to not sleep with him for as long as possible while he pursues you and jumps through hoops.

[deleted] · Tue Mar 15 15:59:42 2016 UTC

[permanently deleted]

SlothOnRoids · 2016-03-15T06:56:57+00:00

Less than 5? Pretty rare for a girl over 20, I would have no qualms about this. You're far from a slut.

4FF41R · 2016-03-15T13:47:37+00:00

As a starter and a premise, the word "slut" should be removed from the dictionary.

In a very simplistic way, a LTR is based upon common interests and common worldviews; so once you find your candidate just talk about who you are, hopes, dreams, personalities etc. Make a decision if you want to talk about each other's sexual past, and if so that becomes yet another aspect of getting to know one another; if you decide that someone's sexual past is not something that you are interested in discussing finding someone who agrees with that is just another requirement.

When I was an insecure Blue Pill guy, I thought that someone's sexual past was very important, and I was very proud of my very low number and all LTR. You can just imagine that it was not very useful.

These days when I meet someone, talking about our past sexual history is of no interest to me and no use. My present relationship that's not over 1 year we have NEVER talked about # of partners, or what we have done or not done; what we concentrate on is to have as much FUN as possible together; each and every time we see each other.

The present and the future is a lot more important to me than the past. Of course I am also not interested in a "forever" type of LTRl I am in my 50's and I have been married twice.

[deleted] · 2016-03-15T07:09:08+00:00

You're not a slut. Nowadays 4 is nothing. And even if it was way more than 4, frankly it's none of my business. I'm in my early 20s and I'm at the point where I don't even ask. I judge everyone based in how they treat me.

YungKillah47 · 2016-03-15T07:14:26+00:00

4 is fine at 23.

If you wish to lock down an Alpha, beyond sex, here's what you do ( listen as well RP men ):

Learn to cook amazingly. Plan fun trips with this dude. Subtly scare away bitches ( bring a big threateningDike with you) Learn his interests and surprise him ( he's a sneakerhead, get a beta bux to campout outside footlocker for Jordans and give them him as a gift. He likes video games, pre order Uncharted 4 for him )

The idea is for him to start getting hard to let you go as you support him and plan trips with and ya'll have too much fun.

69petra · 2016-03-15T08:44:49+00:00

First and foremost you do not have to come out and tell him about your sexual history. Plus, you do not have to get into very details of the relationship. At your age, he would not expect you to be a virgin.
You are too hard on yourself. Do not even give a second thought about it.
Remember blatant honesty does not work in real life.

nuesuh · 2016-03-15T09:47:24+00:00

You're asking a very subjective question. Some would say yes, but most wouldn't. If you want to start a LTR, I don't see a reason why you couldn't. 4 guys is at or below average for a 23 year old, probably below.

Scurvemuch · 2016-03-15T11:47:03+00:00

If he knows your history and you withhold sex because you are now a " good girl" that is just cognitive dissonance that I wouldn't expect - and therefore wouldn't do more than fuck you

I have a 30 yo semi plate that I might consider ltr'ing that has an N of 5 that I know.

If you think he is ltr material then vet him and keep his belly full , be fun and a bit submissive and keep his balls drained.

If at the end of the day " it doesn't work out" you know that your "vetting" machine is broken

3rt41 · 2016-03-15T11:56:57+00:00

4 at 23 is quite rare

[deleted] · 2016-03-15T12:31:53+00:00

My best friend is a girl who estimates her partner count to be in their 40s. You're not a slut. In fact I don't know why being a slut is so bad. If all parties involved have equal expectations to each other why is there a problem? The best sex I've had was with this girl who some would call a slut.

Tharberg · 2016-03-15T12:49:03+00:00

he would be an absolute beta male cuck if he didn't care. but on the other side, 4 isn't that bad.

mrpCamper · 2016-03-15T13:04:27+00:00

I have no idea what my wife of 15 years number is. It is what she provides me now that I am concerned with not her history. Hope that helps and I'm a happy camper.

iDont_too · 2016-03-15T13:16:11+00:00

If you think 4 is too many, you're living in a fantasy world, especially if you live in Europe/USA. By 23 most women have had >5 sexual partners at the very least.

PantsonFire1234 · 2016-03-15T13:19:52+00:00

Yeah I've heard that number way to many times to believe it. It wouldn't be beyond you to lie about your count- even on the internet. If your hamster has the capability to stop running for a short moment and internally reflect. And it turns out 4 is truly your N-count, you're cool.

Oh yeah and even though you might not be a slut. If you're shit boring in the sack and don't go along with anything your boy tries- you will get dumped regardless.

JeanValjean197o · 2016-03-15T13:39:11+00:00

TRP takes a hard line of female sexuality but RP men are anything but homogeneous about how we feel about it.

Your sexual history is only part of your SMV and for some, myself included, it's not very important until you get to the extreme ends.

All that said, I think you are approaching LTR from the wrong angle.

If you want to get into a LTR with a guy and he's into you then there is a simple way to do it. Follow this one simple rule: commitment before sex.

You should both be willing to be exclusive before you have sex. You aren't making him wait until marriage or holding his dick hostage. You simply make it clear that you want more than to just fuck and if he's not agreeable to that then you should both move on.

In the meantime, you need to learn how to talk to a man. If you aren't having conversations and learning about who each of you are on the inside then you aren't really in a relationship. If you really want to be in a LTR then that requires intimacy and intimacy requires talking and sharing and empathy. None of those things are achieved by fucking which is why fucking in the beginning is really bad because it's more difficult to progress backwards towards the intimacy.

Coolbeans024ptf · 2016-03-15T11:48:18+00:00

Your problem isn't that you are a slut it's that there are so many sluts that when you say your number is 4 most men will put that into a female to male n count converter which will tell him that your admitted 4 is really 9 because most girls only count the guys they liked not the jerks. They definitely only count sex so 9 actual sex partners and 16 blowjob partners and 20 hand job partners for a total dick count of 45.

Every guy you ask who says his n count is 4 will be counting everything but will translate to a total pussy count of 2.

stickfiguresk · 2016-03-15T06:45:57+00:00

Keeping your business to yourself is not lying. Just don't blab. And if he asks your n-count, he's likely immature, and you may want to remind him that talking about that is unbecoming of a lady.

As to weither or not you're a slut, that's a matter of opinion. I assume all women are, but that's just me and has more to do with my perogatives.

Letsbeserioushere · 2016-03-15T06:28:05+00:00

People learn from mistakes. Your behaviour and your adaptation to adverse situations matters more than character labels, be it "slut" or "alpha/beta" in the case of men.

So, forget about the distinction and focus on what you can actually do. It looks like you have taken responsibility for your actions and committed yourself to staying in line with your values (avoiding one night stands) in the future. If this is genuine, then you need not have your future defined by what you did in the past.

Having said that, you can't sleep with 50 dudes and then proclaim yourself to be socially conservative. That's called hypocrisy, and your actions would in fact demonstrate that your core principles are not in line with what TRP men value in an LTR.

Apexk9 · 2016-03-15T08:08:54+00:00

If you're hot ill fuck you. If I keep you depends on liek 4000 other factors and as long as you're hot and the sex is good Ill see if you meet all 4000 but there are also 4000 ones that can make me walk away just as easily if you cross 1.

And sexual history isnt one of them. I dont give a fuck.

Also always compliment his dick.

Title	Am I a slut?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	64
Date	March 15, 2016 6:07 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4ah8zb/am_i_a_slut/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/am-i-a-slut.186570 https://theredarchive.com/post/186570