Bullied

talexanderc · 2018-05-28T13:05:34+00:00

Lift. Once you're in your 20s they will all probably be losers anyway. Have patience, I know it sucks. I've been there.

SirKolbath · 2018-05-28T16:24:14+00:00

Bullying sucks. As someone who is 5'5" and was a junior Olympic wrestling qualifier, I can tell you that the guys telling you to lift are wrong.

They aren't wrong to be telling you to lift. They're wrong to be telling you that it will stop bullying. I graduated at 5'4" and 112lbs and could bench almost 185, which is pretty damn good for that size, especially with a mangled right shoulder. I still had to deal with bullying nonsense from a few shitholes I went to school with.

I'll tell you three things.

Those people are immaterial to your life and your mission. You keep lifting, working on yourself, and moving towards your goals. They will fade away. In three years, you'll barely remember their names. In ten, when they show up in your Facebook feed you'll think, "Holy space Jesus you got fucking fat." In fifteen you won't remember anything about them other than that they were assholes.
Get into some kind of martial art. Vandaalen prefers BJJ. I recommend Krav Maga. Do something that is going to get you hit in the face at least twice a week. The confidence alone will help.
Decide now where your line in the sand is. Make the decision unemotional and calmly, or it's going to be made for you. I don't want to read your name on a fucking CNN scroller, so you decide now what your limits are and what you're going to do. In my case, about nine weeks before graduation I had enough. I ankle-picked one of my tormentors, passed guard, and started trying to see how many licks it took to get to the middle of his goddamn tootsie pop. I earned myself a week out of school, which I spent filing complaints with the school board that I'd reported that asshole for two years and they'd done nothing. At the end of that week, when I came back to school, he harassed me again, and I used my history book to break his nose. I got another week, and in front of the principal, my mom, his mom, and God I told that son of a bitch that if he said another word to me I'd keep coming.

From then on he left me the fuck alone. I'd reached my line.

Now, I might have gotten the shit beaten out of me. You need to be prepared for that because it's a real possibility. Life isn't a movie. But I had to make the cost of fucking with me greater than any pleasure that shitstick got from doing it. You may have to do the same.

Bullies do not stop on their own. They harass and torment people because they don't have the self-introspection necessary to understand their actions. Outside impetus must be applied to end the behavior. In the failure of an outside impetus, a history book may also be applied, if it's done forcefully enough.

Now, I am not giving you license to beat the shit out of random people. Nor am I saying anything that can remotely be deciphered as "take a weapon and deal with this." I'm saying that Kenny Rogers was right when he said, "Sometimes you have to fight to be a man." This could get the shit beaten out of you. You could be seriously injured. You might be suspended or even expelled.

Which is why only you can determine where that line is drawn. You're the only one who gets to decide where 'enough' is.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2018-05-28T15:44:00+00:00

Understand that bullies are the biggest babies on the planet. Nobody cares if a baby gets upset.

Use Amused Mastery. Roast them back.

"Quit whining" and "stop being a baby" are classics. if they try to argue, just repeat yourself again and again, with a grin. "didn't I just tell you to quit whining?"

Do not, under any circumstances, Defend, Argue, Explain, Excuse, or Rationalize.

felix044900 · 2018-05-28T14:07:01+00:00

Lifting will literally change how everyone perceives u at school. Go every day, if I could go back in time to school this is the one thing I would emphasize on myself. Also work on other things such as your body language, haircut and stand up straight at all times. Small things like these can change how others perceive you. Try talk to different people and stick to a friend group.

usernameishardtomake · 2018-05-28T14:35:13+00:00

Just like everyone said in the comments, you must lift.

However you also must EAT RIGHT. if you are very skinny, then you should eat a lot more than usual EVERYDAY. you can't just eat a lot for a couple of days n quit. You gotta eat right and lift for months and years to get to a physique that you'll be confident with.

However it's TOTALLY worth lifting n getting bigger. Guys will not fuck with you if you're bigger than them! You're still super young, and life has just begun for you. Grab your life by its pussy n tell it that youre my fking life n lead it the way you want it to go (in academics, girls, health, etc). Everything is in your hands now. Good luck! I hope you live your life the way you want to!

kimchi-22 · 2018-05-28T17:20:08+00:00

Try to record them secretly. No one likes bullies, it will give you power over them.

DoIEvenLift111 · 2018-05-28T15:03:50+00:00

All these people who are telling you to lift have probably never experienced what its like to be bullied as a shorter guy. yes lifting is important but as a short guy who used to get bullied, you need massive social proof or u need to be the guy whos willing to get hit and still laugh at them for being pathetic

redpilledcuck · 2018-05-28T15:08:58+00:00

>pushing me

If they make physical contact with you fight back. Just be careful that they will gang up on you. Beat the shit out of the first one that touches you, don't hold back at all or he will kick your ass. They will think twice after that.

>I get bullied because of my weird clothes

No you don't. You get bullied because you're an easy target (short, weak, no friends, doesn't stand up for himself). I could make whatever shit I want up in order to bully you if you're my target. Next time they say anything about your clothes say something like "Oh, well that's odd, your mother liked them."

Monsieur-Incroyable · 2018-05-28T14:24:37+00:00

Martial Arts can do wonders for your mental attitude and physical fitness. Your joints could still be growing, so stay away from very heavy lifting and stick with higher reps-lower weights for now. Really consider martial arts though.

Hang in there, it gets so much better after high school.

wiLLThaColdest · 2018-05-28T16:23:49+00:00

If you get a hand laid on you, fight back. No exceptions. Expect to get suspended regardless if you started the fight or not. It's much better to leave with pride and dignity then to take it like a bitch.

Pro tip from my father: if it's a group of people bullying you, and you must physically fight, hit the perceived leader of the group first. A punch in the nose will make almost anyone cry/eyes water... If the followers see their leader crying, less likely chance of them trying you. Also don't forget that a lot of these jock type dudes are gonna be careful not to fight on school grounds, because they can get suspended from sports. As the others said, lifting will help not only your body, but your mindset as well as being able to physically defend yourself better. As a dude who used to get bullied when I was younger I know how you feel man. At least you seem like you don't have much longer left to go until you graduate.

dzkkne · 2018-05-28T16:17:35+00:00

Not gonna lie, if you want to resolve this shit right now - don’t tolerate it. Doesn’t matter if you know how to fight or not - next time someone tries to bully you physically or calling you names - challenge him/her back. Give then the best smack you can right away - they night think you overreacting but they won’t come close to you again.

You are a man, you shouldn’t be afraid getting beat up - it is a small price for peace and respect you get after.

Long term - lift and do some boxing at least for a few months to become comfortable with physical confrontation - it is that simple.

Do not tolerate any bs from anyone trying to put you down - always push back. You only have to do it once or twice and they will forget about picking on you. They only do it because there is no cost for them.

nerfedpanda · 2018-05-28T16:38:53+00:00

Don't wear "good" clothes bc you feel they make you fit in. You have to change your mindset of wanting to fit in/be accepted by these losers.

Wear whatever you want and do whatever the fuck you want. If you truly adopt that mindset, people will notice and treat you differently.

ContreversialViews22 · 2018-05-28T18:00:29+00:00

Clothing: since you're my age it ain't gonna be that hard to figure it out what you should get to fit in: quick warning, I'm from the UK so the shops you have may vary

Hoodie (best if plain or is a major brand e.g. superdry, adidas, nike etc, obscure things or anime related stuff are usually a big no no unless a collab with a big brand)
Jumpers (same as hoodies, plain or big name brand, usually no obscure stuff unless collab with big name brand)
T-shirts (see what I said for Jumpers and Hoodies)
Slim fit/skinny jeans (the legs of the jeans shouldn't "flare" out and start to cover up your shoes, they also shouldn't be too tight that you start to feel pain when wearing them)
Tracksuits (you should go and get the slim fit variants as the era of baggy tracksuits has ended and it's a quick way to getting yourself bullied even more)
Polos, don't even bother getting these as they're not in style at the moment for our age group but will be when you get older
Sneakers, these are very important and can possibly make or break an outfit, my recommended list is: Air Jordan 1-12, AJ horizons, Nike Air Max 90 & 95, Nike Air Force 1s high & low variants, Adidas ZX Flux, Adidas ultraboost
Jackets, I would suggest you get ones with a detactable hoodie in case you want to do a hoodie-jacket combo, sleveless variants are a big question mark IMO as they're kinda popular but only with the thug types
Bags, you can go with style with the one strap one which looks cool but it'll fuck up your back or you can go with comfort with the double strap which saves your back and is starting to become more popular now

Good clothing brands: Uniqlo (Every range of clothing), Superdry (Every range of clothing), Adidas (Hoodies, Tracksuits & Sneakers), Nike (Hoodies, Tracksuits & Sneakers), Topman (Every range of clothing)

Good clothing shops: Footlocker, JD, Superdry, TopShop (Topman is a section under it), River Island, H&M

Simple combo for clothes you can wear:

Hoodie, jeans, sneakers
Jumper, jeans, sneakers
T-shirt, jeans, sneakers
Tracksuit, sneakers
T-shirt, Tracksuit bottom, sneakers

It is up to you to experiment with the clothes you plan to get to match the style you like

vandaalen · 2018-05-28T13:14:22+00:00

In what form? Details please.

KeffirLime · 2018-05-28T13:23:16+00:00

Need details about your situation to help, but trust me when i say life gets alot better when you leave high school.

Read sidebar. Lift.

cl3537 · 2018-05-28T15:34:56+00:00

Keep a strong work ethic, train your mind and body, smart is sexy, fit is sexy. You are on a mission, and your mission doesn't include drugs, 'hanging out', stupid childish games or being 'cool'.

I was 5"5 for most of high school 6"0 now, I got bullied, assholes would take stuff out of my bag, it wasn't fun. I had some big friends who protected me but it was still embarrassing at times. Just focus on productive things and don't react and bullies will eventually move on to a target giving them more of a response.

I just ignored it, joined a sports team, had my friends and pretty much just came to school to get my grades and left as quickly as possible.

I didn't really connect with anyone in high school most of them were losers anyway.

I think lifting would be extremely helpful to you, for your mindset, and to train your body and build it up. It is much easier to do it at your age than doing what I am doing now 20 years later.

I would try to learn as many languages as possible and join a public speaking club like debating. I wouldn't worry about chasing pussy and the 'cool kids' most of them are fucktards that have already peaked.

Imalwaysrightred · 2018-05-28T15:49:01+00:00

As someone your age what are you wearing that’s getting you bullied?

NEPat10 · 2018-05-28T15:55:24+00:00

Lift. Then keep on lifting. Take advantage of your high levels of testosterone. It’s not an overnight fix. You’re 17 and luckily almost finished with high school and when that ends everything changes. I wish I can give you that overnight solution but as it pertains to bullies they already have this cowardly image of you in their head and no snarky comeback or wardrobe change will change that. If anything, I feel like it may make it worse because they can see how their bullying is forcing you to want to change yourself.

AnotherDisposableMan · 2018-05-28T16:10:52+00:00

Reminds me of a demi-god who was like you at 17.

dzkkne · 2018-05-28T16:23:51+00:00

Problem with all the replies above is they tell you tolerate shit and hope for the best after - NO, this is not how it works.

This is your fucking challenge bro, if you resolve your HS shit you will leave HS with respect, knowing how to deal with this stuff later in life. Do you think college will be much easier for you.

Don’t back down, don’t wait for better times. You know what you need to do and just shying away from it asking people for advice here.

It is not about the people around you in HS - it is about you and the way you see yourself. They don’t matter shit, but your self perception does matter to you and your long term success.

And yea, I have to stress - don’t take any bullying personally, don’t hate on people. They challenge you because you showed weakness somewhere. It is feedback to you from the environment you are in - so learn and improve. Don’t blame on others, yes they are not doing the right thing - but if you sort out yourself it will not be a problem for you ever again

RedPilledRoaster · 2018-05-28T16:30:52+00:00

Amused mastery and lift

daffy_duck233 · 2018-05-28T16:55:58+00:00

If you are not already in any athletic group at school then join one, if it's too late then join something outside school. Try a hip hop dance club or something like that. It gives you lots of exercise and chance to broaden your social circle.

AnjaJutta · 2018-05-28T17:36:22+00:00

OP, what is more important to your development as a stronger person is to internalise that they are not bullying you because of your clothes or whatever other reason they announce. They bully you because you are weak. They can get away with it. There is no punishment.

The guys here generously described a few strategies to garner more power in a social setting.

Your job right now is to start finding ways to win small victories in the social arena. Do you know any ways you can add value to your fellow classmates who are not bullying you? Do they have a social group you can join?

itsdir0 · 2018-05-28T18:00:00+00:00

There is nothing more scary than an unpredictable man.

If they always wait to take it on you, it is because they all know how you will react.

wtg2989 · 2018-05-28T18:01:27+00:00

Get good at boxing and mma and wipe the floor with someone.

Moreofmore · 2018-05-28T18:03:02+00:00

Heads up, 3,6, and 7 sound like little man syndrome if you don’t mix it with charisma

KingoftheCastle94 · 2018-05-28T18:09:18+00:00

I know you've probably heard this before but lift dude. Not even that hard just find out what your maintenance caloric intake is (Google how to find that out), then eat around 200-500 calories more than this number daily, be sure to include good protein and carbs with every meal. Lift atleast 3 or 4 times a week and you'll see gains. That's basically muscle building 101.

Simultaneously also visit a boxing gym maybe once or twice a week and get used to throwing punches. Then when you do hit one of them upside the head they'll know you mean business.

VillainyUnchecked · 2018-05-28T18:09:59+00:00

Everyone telling you to lift is correct... everyone bitching about that advice is not appreciating that anyone telling you to lift no doubt understands that it is merely a starting point. Martial arts is good advice too, but don't expect miracles... if it at least improves your confidence and bearing, then that is 'win' enough. That said, never write off the potential of a disproportionate response... I went to high school with a little guy who was tortured mercilessly and when he pushed back, it only made things worse for him - that was until one day in class, he straight up picked his desk and chair and threw it at a guy... people didn't fuck with him after that.

CaragorRider · 2018-05-28T18:37:05+00:00

Learn social skills. You're being bullied since nobody would mind if you are bullied. You're the easy prey.

sixseven89 · 2018-05-28T18:41:53+00:00

Just dont engage with them or react. If you completely ignore then you'll look like a bitch and that you're trying too hard, so just smirk at them and continue doing what you're doing.

thePloweHorse · 2018-05-28T19:17:19+00:00

How tall are you?

Are you fat?

Are you anorexic?

Do you have both parents or are you being raised by a single mom?

Are you buying clothes that fit you?(check your sizes)

Are you buying extravagant, weird clothes?

What country do you live in?

When do you graduate? Are you in your final year?

Do you have a weird face?

I will give you advice but please answer sincirely.

redpillrobert · 2018-05-28T20:30:44+00:00

take hgh and testosterone

pussykiller009 · 2018-05-28T22:04:42+00:00

Learn MMA kid But do it secretly,don’t show anybody that you are following an MMA training. Go to gym Eat well -Eat a lot (your power will increase with the training)

When fighting is your last resort remember that you don’t have to fight all of your bullies You just need to beat one of em’ while making sure some of the other guys see it or hear about it.

With your MMA training you’ll be able to fight much better than 90% of the population . I am pretty sure your bullies would fit in that percentage.

Amused mastery won’t stop your bullies It can make them push your buttons even more, trustme. The only way to stop bullies is by standing them So... train Don’t you fucking quit Give your best during sparring You’ll know it when you are ready And go for the first one Wait till he is alone Beat the hell outta him I can assure you that the others won’t back him

I’ve been a bully myself without even knowing it back then. Being a 6´6 kid back then, I still remember how I secretly respected small kids that stand up against me Even though I whooped them I stopped right after.

ht2k9 · 2018-05-28T22:12:36+00:00

Some people will fucking stop only when you punch the fuck out of them. Attack them from behind, when they push you, fuck them up.

Really the guy who bullied me, stopped when I fought him and his friend, and even I lost. He stopped and he says hi when he sees me.

Rollo_Mayhem3 · 2018-05-28T23:01:05+00:00

Buy a secret video recorder and record the idiots bullying you. Gather enough evidence to make the school take action or have your parents sue the kids directly. Parents dont care, retain a lawyer yourself "pro bono" if you can or sue the kids yourself. GL.

thePloweHorse · 2018-05-28T23:41:51+00:00

Also this is very relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEF_kRQLKCI

Snowbattt · 2018-05-29T10:22:04+00:00

I agree with martial arts and lifting. It will not only make you look more intimidating, but it will boost your confidence. Confidence is the best bully-repellent.

JSuma · 2018-06-01T05:12:28+00:00

They might be bullying you more harshly since youre displaying yourself in a more developed manner. Like a shit test for every single rung of the ladder you climb. Or it’s at least harder to take it. Thats good then, use the anger to motivate you towards more disciplined days. Chin up against disrepect until they respect it

CapnDankPlank · 2018-05-28T21:50:28+00:00

Just shoot up your school ? I presume your in america ?

Title	Bullied
Author	Alexander290
Upvotes	53
Comments	114
Date	May 28, 2018 1:04 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8mpwnv/bullied/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/bullied.746 https://theredarchive.com/post/746

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