Cant forget LTR

blackxsnight · 2019-10-11T10:31:00+00:00

Don't try to stomp it out. The more you do that, the more you'll think of her. Just delete every external link to her which you already did it seems. Then when she pops up in your head, just let it flow. Don't block it, just let it flow. It's like when I say to you: "Don't think about a red elephant". All you're doing now is thinking about a red elephant. When I say stop thinking about it, you'll start to think about it harder to remove it out of your brain. You gotta let it go on it's own.

rookieMale · 2019-10-11T12:18:57+00:00

You are not attached to her. Just to the trauma of the experience.

Brain tends to store extreme emotional highs and lows very carefully. You will have to forgive and forget. Basically stop giving it too much importance in order for brain to recognise that memory is to be faded away.

cat_magnet · 2019-10-11T11:00:39+00:00

I had a similar situation. The girl is a cheap thot and even though I would never go back to her in a million years I was thinking about her constantly. After three years I started to wonder if Id ever forget. Now five years after breaking up with her she barely crosses my mind. It just takes time. You will forget. Focus on your mission.

Bornagainslayer · 2019-10-11T11:11:05+00:00

All the girls I ever had oneitis for pre RP are old and ugly to me now and it makes me happy that I’m not stuck with them.

The same will happen to your ex while you will continue to improve if you stick to the path, so maybe you can take solace in that like I do

Lysanthir · 2019-10-11T10:33:47+00:00

Telling you to stop thinking about it would be bad advice. Just remember that if you do that you should let it drive you forward on your path and remind you that AWALT. The cure to a woman is simply put, more women.

Don_Draper27 · 2019-10-11T16:36:26+00:00

I believe that we don't ever really 100% get over someone who we've had a strong emotional connection with. It's almost like a family member passing. You learn to move on and accept that they are at peace outside this world but you'll never stop thinking about them.

I know it seems beta to still think about your ex but IMO it's normal. It's just nostalgia. It's a memory of happy emotions you had in the past. Just accept that it happened and then let it go in your mind. Practice mindfulness and being in the present moment.

rizzyfromthe9 · 2019-10-11T12:41:58+00:00

All you’re doing is banging chicks.

What’s your mission? Your passions?

You’re trying to find fulfillment out of women

DWS33_ · 2019-10-11T12:16:22+00:00

i still think about girls i dated. us guys never really forget girls that we use to like. but does it still hurt to think about my ex? no. just keep pushing

narutosleftnut · 2019-10-11T14:20:59+00:00

Just picture her in your head sitting on the toilet, taking the biggest shit of her life. Vains bulging in her face and shit, turning all purple in that stinky ass bathroom. Do you still miss her?

sandal_on · 2019-10-11T11:18:23+00:00

Are you still attracted to her? If the answer is yes, then begin trying to see her in the light she actually is, a human being who would do something depraved as cheating. It works to see the other person in the true light with their error which caused the breakup, and actually feel disgusted by them which helps removing attraction, sometimes whole of it.

If it is good memories, then try to see them together which what they are, something she threw away. They never truly existed since she didn't value them enough, and thus only feel good at that moment, like an orgasm and nothing more.

KillaJewels · 2019-10-11T12:23:17+00:00

LTR someone better and younger. You'll look back laughing.

2stoned0jaguar9tre · 2019-10-11T12:47:30+00:00

My man David Goggins gots some advice on getting over issues like this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6kc3iclBUE

i think he can help you get over this better than I can put into words.

Priyyy_8211 · 2019-10-11T13:00:29+00:00

I think you need closure. Cuz you broke up with her and you know you had a good reason but she didn't know the reason. That's why she keeps pursuing you and you keep thinking about her because she doesn't even know what she did and it just feels like an incomplete breakup maybe ?

Dilduo · 2019-10-11T13:45:45+00:00

I just pretend they died until I believe it

MR_SKINNYPENIS69 · 2019-10-11T12:37:46+00:00

I feel you bro. A truly broken heart never mends.

I left the love of my life a few years ago and I've never gotten over her. I would never go back to her because she's a bitch and I spent too long being BP with her, but I fell for her big time and nothing can change that. You can't choose who you love. Part of the reason I'm RP now is because I can never develop feelings for a new girl since I'll never get over my ex. Just gotta accept it and live your life with that fact. Sometimes you have a failed relationship that just breaks your hope and you can never move on from it. Just lift, game women, and have a good time with your hobbies and buddies. It's still a very fulfilling life.

missbrainwashed · 2019-10-11T15:07:37+00:00

I’m an alpha widow, 2 years later and I think about my life ex everyday. I fucked it up due to untreated mental issues at the time. He took so much shit from me and would be there until he couldn’t and I was so stubborn to admit I was wrong. I’ve gone on dates and cry in front of the guy I’m going with because my brain starts thinking “you’re pathetic, this isn’t T, you will never find someone as good” and end up ruining the date. I’m in a much better place nowadays and have gotten marriage proposals but it’s not from him and at this point I would rather be a single mom to a child from him than to have a family and marry someone else but I doubt he’d give me his sperm now lol

seducter · 2019-10-11T17:48:13+00:00

I took my ex back and things were good at first but I'm now realizing why she was an ex, and think it was ultimately good taking her back just for this lesson. I care for her less than I did before and it kinda feels like pet sematary thing, where she is "back" but "she's" not back... hard to explain...

mickenrorty · 2019-10-11T12:44:49+00:00

The reality is never as good as the illusion we start to create. Run it through your mind, knowing why you broke up and what you know about TRP.

Grow above this childish stuff. You’re blue pill mentality has yet to be fully severed off

kpl008 · 2019-10-11T12:43:31+00:00

Nostalgia sucks, good memories will always come back every now and again. But like someone said don't block them out, memories are good as long as you don't obsess over them.

Greek-God-Brody · 2019-10-11T13:38:11+00:00

found out she was starting to see other dude while I was on a trip

I too tend to get emotionally attached to a certain girl, however if something like this happens, then it's done for me, any ounce of oneitis I'd have for her.

Don't get emotionally attached to teachers.

It's be another thing if you 2 had 3 dream years together.

There is no way I can ever get attached to a cheater. It's the ultimate turn-off

DatingTank · 2019-10-11T13:59:46+00:00

Sorry OP, but are you lost? Do you know what trp is? If yes, how much effort have you put into it?

Yes, it is forever, with this girl or the next one, the pattern will repeat until you get at least a SPECK of abundance.

FatGirlsInPartyHats · 2019-10-11T14:24:49+00:00

Think about her but always consciously remember during those times of her cheating on you. It helps you put her aside a bit more. It takes forever. I think we all think of a few girls from time to time. Most of us think about getting super drunk and eating cheeseburgers 24/7 but being mature about things is knowing what you want and know when it's incredibly bad for you. Time fixes it, keep slinging game and working on yourself and eventually you'll begin wondering why the hell you cared so much for someone who offers so little.

[deleted] · 2019-10-11T14:38:10+00:00

What seriously helps me, is write a letter to her. If she's still in your head it's likely that you still have emotions and/or thoughts that need expression.

Write 'em up and then write them off. Good luck, mate. You got this!

Imaginary_Historian · 2019-10-11T16:07:33+00:00

I did this to a chick last year. She didn't really do anything wrong except came on way too strong, including wanting excessive PDA in public, and made me uncomfortable so I let her go with no explanation. She messaged about once a month then finally a month ago I felt bad for her and just told her why I broke up. Did she feel better? Unlikely, but I didn't do it for her, I did it for me to feel better about *myself* for stepping up and saying what happened.

frognads · 2019-10-11T16:31:00+00:00

You'll get over it. Keep meeting new women.

Heybuddyyyyyy · 2019-10-11T16:36:20+00:00

Soft

Fusionnn · 2019-10-11T16:54:34+00:00

I've experienced this. You should be so busy with your life that you have no idle time. You're wasting your precious thoughts on something in the past, you should be fully involved in your present, practice being more mindful and experiencing your surroundings fully, sight, touch, sound, taste, smell

kode20 · 2019-10-11T16:59:37+00:00

Been there bro, more time helps

AlwaysimprovingMane · 2019-10-11T17:14:52+00:00

Why stomp out a good memory? Just let it enter and leave, and make even better memories to compete.

Throwaway5hfy88k99 · 2019-10-11T17:15:43+00:00

It's alright that you remember her and think about her now and then. That's how memories work. As long as she doesn't deter you from you living your life and bettering yourself it's no big deal.

MattyAnon · 2019-10-11T17:20:36+00:00

Is it there forever? I've had plenty of girls, plenty of gfs, but this one remains. Why? Is there a way to stomp it out?

What was so special about this one, or were you living in fantasy la la land at the time? Do you miss her, or do you miss the deluded dream you had at the time?

PhaedrusHunt · 2019-10-11T18:23:45+00:00

Just appreciate the gooey memories man. You've both moved on.

There's one like that for me, from 16 years ago. It wasn't an LTR, it was a ten day fling in Hawaii where we met by chance, me a month after leaving my first wife, her a few days after breaking up with her bf of six years (and she was going on a solo trip to Hawaii from Japan, so breaking up was the right thing for her to do as obviously she was looking for strange dick).

Anyway she was super hot and smart and sweet, amazing body, 10/10 sex.

But vacations end, people go back to the real world.

It's the feeling you want. You can never get that exact experience again but you can get the same feeling

-DeadLock · 2019-10-11T18:29:24+00:00

It sounds a bit like you never learned proper coping mechanisms and that you lack for ability to process your emotions and put them to rest. At this point you may need therapy. I had a traumatic breakup and what helped me what writing down whatever came to mind about her. Writing really helps to process emotions for me.

awfulgoodness · 2019-10-11T19:28:30+00:00

Don't confuse your gain of self esteem with what someone else is worth. regardless of the connection to it. you worked hard to gain your self respect. your nostalgia over her has done no work to deserve space in your head.

lbrownlbandit · 2019-10-11T21:23:13+00:00

You just havnt properly emotionally processed it. You have to entertain the thought. Think about it when you're alone and laugh, cry whatever the fuck. Do this a couple of times and the though will slowly stop bothering you.

TRP_mask · 2019-10-11T22:15:33+00:00

I mean you can at least tell her why you left, even though she should know. The way you phrase it sounds like hard nexting gone extreme

Sintar07 · 2019-10-11T22:38:01+00:00

In all honesty, it's going to be around for a long time. Maybe forever. I haven't seen the very first woman I ever really loved for over a decade and I still have the occasional day when she comes into my mind and won't leave. They're a bit further apart every time, but I don't know of any way to stomp it out completely.

I tried going over all the reasons it could never work out and all the ways they were basically bad people for the second and third ones, and I think of them less, but still sometimes, and now thinking of them makes me very angry too.

Seoul_Brother · 2019-10-11T22:46:04+00:00

I still can’t forget my ex and it’s not because it’s a positive thing or nostalgia, it’s because she was the worst human being I met that drove me to the TRP sub. I used my anger phase towards her to become a greater me. I still think about her but not in the positive sense: More so pity for her since she’ll only find fleeting happiness because of her own self hatred and destructive tendencies while I keep rising higher. OP you gotta make your life better to the point where she’s nothing more than an afterthought.

br0j1tsu · 2019-10-11T10:47:57+00:00

The more you feed that oneitis the more that'll stick with you, you broke contact, which is good, the next time you think about her also remember why you walked away and the fact that you're just missing how you felt hanging out with the idea of her that you allowed your brain to build. Awalt, stay strong brother.

Ralberta · 2019-10-11T10:37:27+00:00

I wonder if a bit of closure would help? Generally I wouldn't contact an ex, but maybe the next time she contacts you, flat out tell her you left because you found out she was cheating. Could help.

DuffBude · 2019-10-11T12:54:41+00:00

If you can't stop thinking about her, it is because you still feel like maybe she was a good deal. That means you either (A) haven't truly internalized how shitty she was, or (B) have a bad opinion of yourself, that you might deserve someone like that.

Whatever you remember about her probably seems a lot better than it actually was (rose colored glasses). Whenever I meet a girl from the past it always turns out like that. Plus you were less red-pilled back then, so you couldn't see her flaws as well you could now.

So trust your judgement that when you broke up with her, you had very good reasons for doing it.

And continue working on self-improvement.

Once you have internalized your worth and her lack of worth to you, you will not think about her so much.

mountainofsnow · 2019-10-11T16:44:33+00:00

"Gave her no explanation"

Asshole move. This is why she kept bugging you.

Title	Cant forget LTR
Author	blackxsnight
Upvotes	121
Comments	83
Date	October 11, 2019 10:25 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/dgd65v/cant_forget_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/cant-forget-ltr.289764 https://theredarchive.com/post/289764

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