Day 8665, still haven't cold approached a single girl.

MotiMorphosys · 2019-11-15T13:41:49+00:00

If you want to approach, break it down and start as small as possible.

Walk down the street and make eye contact with a pretty girl and smile. You will get a response. It will probably be just a smile. Or maybe she'll look away. Either way, you made eye contact and smiled. You accomplished the step one. Good for you. Now move on to step two.
walk down the street, or past a girl, make eye contact, smile, and say hi. Doesn't matter if she doesn't respond. As long as she knows you said hi to her, you accomplished step 2. You're moving forward now. Go to step 3.
Walk past a girl, make eye contact, smile, say, "beautiful day isn't it". You might be nervous to say more than hi, you might stumble over your words, you might Mumble. But get it out. she will probably respond with something pleasant and move on. Congratulations, you just accomplished step 3. On to step 4.
repeat step 3, but this time come up with a good reason to sit down next to the girl when you say it. Maybe on a bus, at a class, crowded Starbucks with not many seating options except next to her... Etc. see if she engages you. Whether or not she does, if you said "beautiful day isn't it" as you sat down next to her, you've accomplished step 4. Time for step 5.
you can do this however you want, whether it's walking up to a girl, walking past a girl, sitting down next to a girl, whatever. finish with an open-ended question. "Beautiful day isn't it, what brings you here?" If she responds in any way, you have successfully completed what most of us would consider approaching a girl. And now something that has been haunting you for the past x amount of days you have conquered. Good job. Report back.

idontmiind · 2019-11-15T15:12:40+00:00

use all your might: your brain power, your analytical skills, whatever you've got, to make yourself cold approach. If you were a 'do' person, it wouldn't have been a problem. But since you're a 'think' person, that's your best bet.

Also progressive overload, ofc. You wouldn't squat 400lbs on your first day at gym. Nor would you approach a 10 on a mall first day and lay. Strategize. Win, anyhow.

adriano515 · 2019-11-15T16:25:19+00:00

You don't need hype nor motivation, you need discipline.

Hit the gym.
When you walk dont look down, if you see someone hold the eye contact (girl or not) this will help a lot if you must look away look sideways never down. Same when your talking to someone hold the eye contact (not forever, you do have to look sideways or it might come off as creepy)
If your shy your voice tonality will probably also be very accute, work on getting a deeper tonality and being more loud.
Always have a slightly upward chin when doing anything and your shoulders back, this will help project a more dominant person and someone whos doing good in life.

All of this stuff is relatively easy since you wont be interacting with people and will work really well on the long run, but you do need to approach to work on the shyness.

XXXMersenne · 2019-11-15T17:27:03+00:00

Only reply you'll need:

Hit Gym
Eat Clean & Lean, supplement B12, Vitamin D3, Zinc, Magnesium & Drink Fishoil
Read this & start the required reading here.
Start going out A LOT: 4-7 nights a week.

Listen

Download

You're set

Execute, No questions, no faggotry. Just check off the items on the list. within 2 months you'll be happier and living in a different reality to ~100% of people.

Domebeers · 2019-11-15T17:10:18+00:00

Stop fucking reading and start fucking doing. Buddha rejected asceticism, which is a fancy word for thinking.

To get over shyness you have to expose yourself to people and discover it is not scary to talk to people. The best way to do that is in a safe environment. That means: TAKE AN ACTING CLASS, or TAKE A PUBLIC SPEAKING CLASS.

That's the trick. Take the class, learn how to speak to people and in front of people, your fear of that will die, and then you will be able to approach.

Remember, buddhism is good for game because it speaks to the illusion that is the world of phenomena, which is a round about way to say: OUTCOME INDEPENDENCE, and it also gets your mindset to seek the elimination of the ego: REJECTION DOESNT MATTER, SO THERE IS NOTHING TO BE SCARED ABOUT

MattyAnon · 2019-11-15T16:12:46+00:00

Recommend me field reports or something so I can get hype and try to end this suffering

Start small as u/MotoMorphosys says.

Do only part 1 if that's all you can do. If you're stuck at part 1, keep doing part one until you can.

IcyBear7 · 2019-11-15T15:19:40+00:00

Day game is hard mode. Like really hard mode. It was theoretically easier in the early 2000’s when things like “pua” was really unknown. Nowadays people get that theyre being approached by some newbie and might kick up a fuss.

If you’re gonna approach, do it in an environment where people want to be approached and arent busy with life shit. Also most people use supplements as a crutch. Like 99.9% of people either use alch, molly, weed, or whatever to lower inhibitions. Until life grinds u down to the point where u naturally dont give a shit anymore, its ok to use what 99.9% of ppl r using to help u approach

RaidenDark · 2019-11-15T19:45:47+00:00

You need more "fuck it" in you. Stop giving a shit about what's going to happen. Do whatever you need to do to cultivate that mindset. You are 100 years too early to expect a decent outcome. You're not going to get one until you've practiced, practiced, and practiced some more. You won't get any practice in if you don't approach.

Stop thinking of it as suffering and start thinking of it as field research.

Start with "hi" and if things go south just wait for her to leave while you keep trying to make conversation and don't follow. Try again with another girl, maybe on another night. Yeah, it may look cringey as hell but what you need is practice, did I mention that yet?

What you need is the ability to talk to strangers without shitting yourself. You can only get that buy doing it so much that it no longer bothers you. Try both sexes and stop thinking of it as pickup, that way you can trick your mind into being okay with it. Besides, you could probably use some bros.

Gaining skills is literally just a matter of putting in the time. Now go and clock some hours in.

lifeisweirdasfuck · 2019-11-15T19:45:14+00:00

Here's a comment I saved a year ago from asktrp. I don't remember whose comment this is, if you know, let me know and I'll give credits:

Whenever I'm stuck on an approach I always ask myself these three questions that I remember seeing on TED.

What if I succeed? What are all of the possibilities that could happen between you and this girl? This is what gets you motivated to approach.

What if I fail? Think realistically on this one. What's the worst possible thing that this girl would do to you in the public setting that you're on right now. Most women wouldn't downright embarrass you and make a scene. Unless she's a total b$@&! but then why would you want to deal with that anyway?

What if I do nothing? And this is the question that gets to almost everyone. It make take a few girls for it to actually sink in and realize it, but this is the worst feeling you can get. If you fail, well at least you tried and gave it your best.

If you do nothing, then you don't move forward, grow, and learn from your mistakes. You're actually doing the opposite by growing accustomed to doing nothing. No matter how much material we read and watch and on here. The best way to learn is in the field.

PhaedrusHunt · 2019-11-16T00:26:38+00:00

What are you afraid of, not getting laid?

News flash. You're already not getting laid..

What have you got to lose?

Adorable_FecalSpray · 2019-11-15T13:20:59+00:00

Girls aren’t the end all and be all of this world or of RP.

What else are you working towards and making progress on? What passions, hobbies, lifting, career are you setting goals on and using as tools to make yourself better and bring fulfillment to your life?

That being said if this girl thing is keeping you from progressing in life, as Nike says, “Just do it.” Maybe you WILL faint.

kclanton80 · 2019-11-15T14:18:05+00:00

There's no way around it but to do it. Your making it out to be harder than it needs to be. Rejection is a good thing, and you gain more respect for yourself by trying and failing. Not trying is what is the killer for your esteem.

Just remember one thing. Being rejected could be for all kinds i reasons totally unrelated to you. Instead of approaching to get a number, just approach and start a conversation, don't worry about getting the number.

Maybe she will ask to exchange if it goes well enough. Try approaching some guys or elderly people, just to get used to starting conversations with strangers. This can help build confidence as well

abomba24 · 2019-11-15T18:08:29+00:00

Tell that voice in your head to just shut the fuck up and go for it. It's normal for it to try to protect your ego, etc, but in the end who cares if the result is a girl throwing a drink in your face? At least you went for it and learned a lot about what not to do next time you approach

thatguyhanzel · 2019-11-15T18:14:12+00:00

Give yourself a 3 month goal.

Say please and thank you with solid eye contact to a store worker (male or female).

Work your way up, get more comfortable with eye contact at random women without being creepy.

Strike a very short conversation (with for example the person serving you coffee).

Set a daily goal with having social challenge.

By 2 months you should be able to strike at least 1 long conversation with a female (any female, even a female you're not interested in).

Whenever you reach that checkpoint, go for third base. Don't have to cold approach women, maybe talk to a friend of a friend, have a hobbie cos that makes you interesting.

I spent all my years at college with only making 3 or 4 moves on women. But in my last year I spent the first half developing developing myself. By the end of the year I made more friends in 6 months than I have in 3 years almost out of desperation. The following summer break I felt more happier than I ever have, I got a girlfriend (not anymore btw) but I still feel on top of the world. If I knew what I know now 3 years ago, if be a totally different person. Don't regret it

mickenrorty · 2019-11-15T18:22:59+00:00

Do you have a wingman or wingmen?

rizzyfromthe9 · 2019-11-15T18:52:54+00:00

Start by just saying hi, how are you to everyone

bumbuff · 2019-11-15T19:10:52+00:00

TRP doesn't mean you have to be a god at approaching girls.

Make it so they approach you.

JurJur · 2019-11-15T19:45:54+00:00

Get in the habit of taking small notes after every approach. It allows you to look back on them and see what works and what doesn't. I usually jot down the location, time, something about the girl i remember her by (name if i get it), how the approach went, and how i feel about it whether it be good things or bad things

alpha_bravado · 2019-11-15T20:18:09+00:00

Dont FAP for as long as possible. Itll make it easier.

Red_Pill_Brotherhood · 2019-11-15T20:29:55+00:00

A thousand mile journey begins with a single step.

holyrasta · 2019-11-15T20:57:54+00:00

Just give up dude. Better seamaxx to get some Asian pussy

Alzatorus · 2019-11-15T21:55:55+00:00

The last cold approach I did was in a club with a girl that barely spoke any English. She said she didn’t understand, so I made a dramatic show of getting down on one knee and holding out my hand - she laughed and took it - I then took her to the dance floor and within 5 minutes I had my hands on her ass and her tongue down my throat 😂 - moral of the story, sometimes you don’t even need to speak.

rprookie · 2019-11-15T22:11:34+00:00

I’ll keep things simple for you. One word. . . And One word only.

Balls.

astralreflection · 2019-11-15T22:24:59+00:00

This is why I fuck with this sub. Lift a fellow brotha up.

_cyrus98 · 2019-11-15T23:30:40+00:00

Just fucking do it. It’ll probably go wrong but you’ll become familiar with that feeling in your stomach and realize how to ignore it. Remember that you’re in power, and you have to keep frame to remind her of that.

holyrasta · 2019-11-15T23:59:47+00:00

Thanks everyone. Even the dudes saying I am gay.

Magahaka · 2019-11-15T13:21:34+00:00

Remember my first cold approach... Me and my friend saw a nice girl in front of us. He was like, dude look at her. I was like, fuck maybe I should chat her up. He was like do it, nobody gives a fuck. And I went all in. I got so much adrenaline in my blood that after I shook her hand and got her name I can't really remember the whole conversation.

P.S Don't go up to a girl and say that you like her. When I was in USA I learned that it is okey just to chat with random people. I was waiting in line for a card. Saw a girl and immediately started talking to her. It's fun, start with random people or random girls that you're not fantasizing about, it will be easier first.

Andrew54321 · 2019-11-15T16:29:53+00:00

Approach a dude.
Accept you are gay.

throwawayred213 · 2019-11-15T19:15:50+00:00

Lift

StephenHawkings_Legs · 2019-11-15T19:39:29+00:00

Intendto · 2019-11-15T20:22:39+00:00

That’s not what face the suffering means. It means have no will to change the suffering. Escape INTO the suffering. This is an insight called emptiness. It takes a good amount of work to acquire but is incredibly rewarding. In fact I had an strong experience with it today (see: The Mind Illuminated for instruction) and kept it going into one of my classes. Saw a really cute girl and “used it” to get her number.

Emery82 · 2019-11-15T20:24:09+00:00

How old are you

sir_shitfuck · 2019-11-15T22:26:07+00:00

If you were really studying Buddhism then it would be very apparent that one of the core tenants is to relinquish all desires, including sexing women.

izzyinjurious · 2019-11-16T16:05:16+00:00

One that helped me was the natural by rad max there’s a torrent if you look for it and watch it. It’ll help you with social skills and game, but in a natural way.

smgtn · 2019-11-15T14:29:42+00:00

There's a chemical option to nuke shyness and anxiety, so maybe not acceptable to some people. You can take a one off dose of phenibut. That shit is what takes you above and beyond the "99 level of IDGAF".

if someone pointed a gun at me and said aproach I would faint.

Yeah... make sure you never say this shit to anyone in real.

mksu711 · 2019-11-15T17:57:42+00:00

Cold approaching doesn't yield any results anyway, you're better off focusing your energy on meeting girls from social situations.

holyrasta · 2019-11-15T15:55:39+00:00

[deleted]

Title	Day 8665, still haven't cold approached a single girl.
Author	holyrasta
Upvotes	123
Comments	96
Date	November 15, 2019 1:13 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/dwqlqm/day_8665_still_havent_cold_approached_a_single/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/day-8665-still-havent-cold-approached-a-single.295339 https://theredarchive.com/post/295339

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