Do girls just not uphold future commitments?

JerryMullin1978 · 2018-04-27T13:42:36+00:00

Unless she’s ridiculously attracted to you, she’s going to lose interest. It’s human nature. Plus, she’s being hit on by guys all the time. When a women says guys aren’t hitting on her, they usually mean guys they aren’t attracted to are hitting on her.

I like to schedule stuff about 2-3 days ahead max. Hope it helps.

frequentlywrong · 2018-04-27T13:46:31+00:00

WTH are you planning 2 or 3 weeks ahead? That is for LTRs.

blister333 · 2018-04-27T14:14:47+00:00

2-3 weeks is a long time man. That’s for good friends and family imo. Women are so spur of the moment, you gotta strike while it’s hot

abdada · 2018-04-27T13:47:56+00:00

"Future" isn't in the vocabulary.

FOMO is way way way too important.

kick6 · 2018-04-27T14:04:59+00:00

There are zero consequences to them for bailing ever. Why would they even bother to remember they had set something up?

actualimprovement · 2018-04-27T14:44:55+00:00

Too far ahead, by that time she's already forgotten who you are and that you exist.

purplefidgetmidget · 2018-04-27T15:30:59+00:00

Never book anything far ahead. If they say something like oh I'm busy until next week you've got a 1% chance of meeting them. I usually say aight I'll text you next week but half the time I don't even bother as I know they've probably bailed.

420GrazeitRabbit · 2018-04-27T14:08:03+00:00

Instead of questioning why things like this happen, its easier to just accept that this is the way it is, has always been and probably always will be. Women are fucking nuts dude haha

chachaChad · 2018-04-27T15:49:21+00:00

14-21? Are you kidding? She's been offer so many dicks in those days that she doesn't recall yours.

MattyAnon · 2018-04-27T13:55:04+00:00

Is this just some bs excuse to get you to talk to them?

You're right this happens, but this isn't the reason.

They treat social commitments as a "maybe". Without encouragement meanwhile they take the low risk approach of "it's probably not going to happen" and revert to doing nothing and being passive.

It's best not to plan anything so far ahead. Much better to keep her guessing and being busy and having other priorities. Certainties bore them.

HannibalBacara · 2018-04-27T14:41:34+00:00

The only way you should be planning that far ahead is if you’re going to a concert or something and you need to buy tickets before they sell out.

What are you planning 3 weeks ahead?

“Hey do you wanna get drinks with me in 3 weeks?”

As others have said, try to make the plans 2-3 days before and then confirm the day of.

FieldLine · 2018-04-27T18:13:46+00:00

When considering why people behave a certain way, you have to consider what they are incentivized to do.

Right now, today, she is incentivized to say yes when you make any plans for two weeks out -- maybe you'll show her a good time, saying no closes that door -- but if something better comes along, there's no social backlash for flaking on you.

So it's a no brainer for her. Say yes now, which really doesn't mean anything, and go out with you when the time comes if she feels like it. And if Brad texts her two hours before, well, who cares that she already made plans with you?

If, in some hypothetical universe, women couldn't get away with flaking, because all guys everywhere would stop tolerating that shit, then she would either have to say no from the get-go, and be a lot more conservative about making plans, or else actually commit to going out with you, even if that means she could potentially miss a better party that may come along.

In reality, there is no inventive for women to do either of those things.

rpsheepdog · 2018-04-27T14:37:06+00:00

This is planning too far in advance I think, unless it is a trip I can't even plan this far out with my wife. While it makes logical sense to plan that far out, its kind of a poon-drier for her knowing you wont have anything going on that far ahead of time

Let her hamster do the work for you and hit her up closer to desired date/time

frankreyes · 2018-04-27T15:22:53+00:00

This is a corollary of the Briffalut's law.

A promise of future benefit has limited influence on current/future association, with the influence inversely proportionate to the length of time until the benefit will be given and directly proportionate to the degree to which the female trusts the male (which is not bloody likely).

PhaedrusHunt · 2018-04-27T21:04:33+00:00

2-3 weeks? Jesus. Look, don't focus in being so damn alpha you can't even drop a quick text now and then to say hi.

Learn to banter a bit without being thirsty

3d_truth · 2018-04-27T16:08:32+00:00

If you ask a girl to do something in 2 weeks she will say yes even if she means no. She knows she will just flake later but saying yes may get her some of that sweet attention guys love to give her.

Zanford · 2018-04-27T16:39:56+00:00

They do if you DHV enough and they really want you.

Plans 2-3 weeks ahead are way overkill for a new girl / fling / plate tho. It will smell like you're desperate to 'lock her in' or establish a 'dating' frame.

Travis2310 · 2018-04-27T17:09:30+00:00

Human law is that women ALWAYS reserve the right to change their minds, regardless of what was promised prior.

/s

HyperSensitiveSigma · 2018-04-27T17:22:49+00:00

While you are the strongest male in their life, the commitment stands. If they find someone else stronger, the agreement is invalid. That's the game.

Ideally plan 3-7 days in advance. Even 7 days is a stretch. Double book them.

dongpal · 2018-04-27T17:32:48+00:00

who are they?

XT3M3 · 2018-04-27T17:59:25+00:00

they cant even stick to a plan they made for the next hour. you think they can do it for 3 weeks?

females are very in the moment and indecisive. wgat sounded good 5 mins ago would sound like a horrible idea to same person in 10 more mins.

at the same time, how attracted they are to you shows you if they flake or not. if you made a plan for 3 weeks in advance and she follows thru , moreso if there is no real gain for her, you got her.

Yoshiiiiiiiiii10 · 2018-04-27T20:03:31+00:00

I only do same day or night before scheduling. I might pop a day into there head regarding days I have in mind. But day before, day of, creates spontaneous feelings and never gives time to second guess.

hdosnxbjdjeb · 2018-04-27T20:05:07+00:00

This makes a lotta sense

Xhaka-Laca · 2018-04-27T20:37:28+00:00

I don’t think OP is intentionally planning dates weeks in advance. I think he proposes dates early and the girls say they are only available to meet 2-3weeks later. I’ve had this happen to me before. What’s the best way to respond to this: retract the offer and forget about her, or try hit her up in 2weeks time?

TRPTyrone · 2018-04-27T21:10:48+00:00

In general, HB-8 to 10's are the flakiest people on the planet.

Make plans 1-2 days in advance. Girls generally have social opportunities handed to them every single day so they're going to forget about yours when something more appealing gets handed to them.

humzy · 2018-04-27T23:43:20+00:00

It’s all about attraction and SMV at the end of the day let’s be honest , the higher you are in those the more leeway you have in the amount of time ahead you can plan.

There is always external factors though, such as the girl finding someone with higher SMV in that timeframe or buyers remorse etc.

Point being focus on yourself and they will come.

StickguyMB · 2018-04-28T01:47:37+00:00

This applies to planning even a week ahead.

I think it has to do with women going through a cycle of feelings. Unlike guys, they feel different throughout the day/week/month no matter what happens

walawalawa · 2018-04-27T17:56:58+00:00

Just had this happen to me: girl actively sexting me...suddenly flakes claiming she can't get a travel permit to come to my city.

My response: "find a way to make it up to me..."

Her: But my documents were held up by customs blah blah bla

Me: hahaha, find a way to make it up to me

And...leave it.

But what made my story so sweet was when one flaked, i lined up two others to bang on the days primary target was supposed to come.

So now ball is in her court and I've got my weekend plate.

Spin plates.

Title	Do girls just not uphold future commitments?
Author	marianasentmenudes
Upvotes	27
Comments	38
Date	April 27, 2018 1:38 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8fbpah/do_girls_just_not_uphold_future_commitments/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/do-girls-just-not-uphold-future-commitments.95757 https://theredarchive.com/post/95757

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