A reminder that smiling is so easy and effective.

Kiwi_Dylan · 2012-03-16T15:20:48+00:00

I have a theory about this. Over time we all develop our default posture and I think this includes your facial expression. I've been addicted to computers, internet, and video games for years. By far my most standard facial expression is neutral. If anyone watches video game streams, you'll see what I mean. Under the concentration of computer use and especially games, we go to an eerily neutral facial expression.

Just like how proper posture will feel weird and uncomfortable after slouching for years, if you spend a significant amount of time in this neutral facial expression, switching to smiling will feel weird.

I've decided (for myself at least), that if I'm planning on going out, for several hours beforehand I just cannot spend all of it in front of the computer and certainly not spend it on video games. The longer I spend smiling, laughing, etc, the more genuine those smiles will become.

For me the difference is drastic. Yesterday I spent a long time on the computer. I went to the store, and I felt awkward, didn't notice much attention, and ended up walking quickly and getting out quickly. Then I went to my dance class, met some new people, had a great time, there was smiling, laughing, etc. On the way home from that, I went to the store again. Wearing the exact same outfit, I felt great, I noticed all sorts of women looking my way, I was smiling, and found myself easily laughing at thing I saw.

TL;DR: The more time you spend smiling, the easier and more natural it becomes. After typing that I realize it seems like common sense, but I'll leave it in the hopes that someone else out there is as slow at learning these things as me.

ThrowawayPUA · 2012-03-16T16:50:28+00:00

You know, I had a recent experience about smiling. I started working temp jobs at a company that does almost exactly the same work as the other company I have been working at. But at the old job, everyone is fucking miserable and they treat each other like shit. I actually have a harassment lawsuit against them, slowly working its way through the system.

But the new company is a breath of fresh air. Everyone is happy, and they smile at each other when walking through the halls. I really didn't know what to do with this when I first encountered it. I was used to working in the old shithole where people kept their heads down while walking the halls and avoided looking at each other, for fear of actually interacting with someone nasty, and they're all nasty. But in the new place, I found myself almost involuntarily smiling back at people. Sure it felt fakey at first, but soon it seemed natural.

Oh the difference was like night and day. I felt like I was released from prison. Smiling actually has a great effect on the people you meet. I got sucked into it almost despite my surly attitude towards the work (which is really boring) that I learned from the other company.

the_master_beta · 2012-03-16T18:01:28+00:00

I'm scared of smiling.

HelloHiHello · 2012-03-16T16:49:55+00:00

SMILE WHEN YOU APPROACH.

The caps is to burn this into my head.

Yesterday I approached a girl with the intent to compliment her, and most likely walk away (she was working).

So I go up to her, tell her she's "incredibly attractive," but I'm not smiling. My body language is closed.

I'm pretty sure I scared the hell out of her. Smiling/being open would change the outcome completely. So don't forget it. ;)

blahm3 · 2012-03-16T19:44:41+00:00

I am going to disagree and say there is nothing wrong with not smiling, in fact it might even be better to not smile - at least during the initial approach and especially if the girl is hot and not smiling herself. This goes along with not rewarding bad behavior (she is not smiling at you, why should you smile at her?) once they girl smiles and is open and receptive I quickly reciprocate with a warm smile thus rewarding her good behavior. This obviously also a form of mirroring and builds rapport. Don't smile unless you have them smiling already.

Some Science to back me up

happiness was the most attractive female emotion expression, and one of the least attractive in males. In contrast, pride showed the reverse pattern; it was the most attractive male expression, and one of the least attractive in women.

Notice how sexy models, both male and female, are rarely smiling.

Women find non-smiling men more attractive. Smiling is a submissive form of body language. If you want to look confident and authoritative: don't smile. If you are looking to be approached smiling is a must.

Some anecdotal personal experience.

About a year ago I got a second job bartending so I was working 14 hour days quite regularly. As result I was very tired and not very energetic and not smiling. However I still wanted to get laid and meet women. This forced me to approach even though I wasn't 'in state'.

I was amazed how often I would approach with simple direct openers and a bored facial expression and have girls almost instantly put big smiles on their faces and give me enthusiastic "hi"s in an act of submission and as a way to ease the tension that I had created. I had girls make statements about how confident I seemed and had one mention how my approach exuded an IDGAF attitude. My hottest lays have come this kind of IDGAF approach and it has quickly become a standard for me.

This is what has become my pretty standard approach:

-Slowly Walk over to girl / girls with very direct body language and good eye contact if they are facing you and pause very close to them. you will almost always notice a shift in their body language as they experience the tension of your presence. Because you are an alpha bad ass you can handle the tension like a boss and let the tension build for about 2 seconds. about 50% of the time they will open you and start talking to you. Other times they ignore you, usually the hotter bitchier type.

-I will touch person of interest or simply say 'hey...' loudly and wait for acknowledgement before saying 'so I thought I would come over and see what you are like...you know if you are the friendly type or the dull and boring type.." I will usually pretty quickly introduce myself with a slow lingering handshake unless they start bombarding me with questions. In which case they will usually ask your name in very shortly. Once they are smiling, open and hooking I have no problem smiling but not overly so. Don't be overly expressive, its not masculine and confident. Try to smirk more than you smile.

Being a badass like this is the ULTIMATE DHV. I did this last night and pulled the two hottest girls at a bar with a friend last night. And they bought us a round of beers. No F-close but did manage a to finger blast one and get a handy in my wings bathroom. Got the number as well so F-close soon to come.

TL/DR: Don't smile unless they are are.

Manhack · 2012-03-16T15:09:33+00:00

Once, I decided I was going to smile more. So I went out trying to pick up girls, and I smiled all the time, and girls seemed really creeped out by me. I couldn't figure out why until I stopped smiling so much. Then they treated me normally again.

notlurkinganymoar · 2012-03-16T17:42:55+00:00

I was at the bar last night and some chick was trying to order a drink. It was taking a while and I told her "smile and eye contact." She took my advice and bartender was there instantly. Tl;dr: smile!

Dusty_aviators · 2012-03-17T00:34:52+00:00

I have a question. You say smile with your eyes. I completely agree with you on this. However, as one that wears sunglasses during the day, how do I go about showing approachability with said sunglasses?

TheySeeMeComing · 2012-03-16T17:20:07+00:00

I've been trying to fix my own default. sometimes its hard to keep the smiling eyes without looking too deranged, but I'm getting better with time.

orangeapplegrape · 2012-03-17T03:07:52+00:00

Wow. I can't believe this thread got so many up votes.

Title	A reminder that smiling is so easy and effective.
Author	orangeapplegrape
Upvotes	92
Comments	36
Date	March 16, 2012 2:50 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qzf5w/a_reminder_that_smiling_is_so_easy_and_effective/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-reminder-that-smiling-is-so-easy-and-effective.1329957 https://theredarchive.com/post/1329957

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