After a first date, when is the best time to text a woman for a second date or re-initiate contact?

dpjglad · 2025-09-03T13:03:15+00:00

If they don’t come back with you, I typically tell them to text me when they get back safe. Once they respond I say something along the lines of: “I had a great time and I’d love to do it again. How about [date/time]?”. Doing it this way on the same night has never been an issue for me.

Kindly-Mycologist135 · 2025-09-03T12:54:45+00:00

3/4 the way thru the first date, setup a 2nd if you’re vibing.

fejaomcnibba · 2025-09-03T13:43:41+00:00

I always text back if the date was good. Every girl is different with what they want. But your next texts shouldn’t be about anything besides leading towards the next date. Save all your interaction, jokes, lines etc. for in person contact. Kept the present unwrapped. I usually find myself thinking in anticipation for him for that next meeting.

SylAbys · 2025-09-03T16:29:59+00:00

Don't play this game... If you're interested, show it.

But, if you see yourself the only one initiating everything ( setting dates/ kissing/ hand holding, etc...) I'll have to double guess her intentions...

The only game is see that valid is the cat n mouse game. BOTH should be pursuing each other. Not just one person doing all the leg work.

Remarkable_Outside67 · 2025-09-03T13:42:04+00:00

From my experience with a bunch of dates this year, I’d say give it two or three days. But be careful with the vibe you send out—some people need more time to process everything that went down on the date. And don’t rule out the fact that it might’ve just been “a good first date” with no second one coming.

My advice: don’t always stick to “rules.” Make your own based on how you feel. If you wanna text the next day, do it. If it’s 10 days later, do it. They don’t go by strict logic—it’s more about how you feel. Patience is key here

VelvetSinclair · 2025-09-03T14:57:51+00:00

Honestly, if she wants to see you again, then it doesn't matter

But too soon can be a bit needy and too late can send the wrong message like you're not interested

You can't go wrong by saying the next day

Ideally, you'll be referring back to the date you planned with her in-person on your first date

Abbynia · 2025-09-03T15:56:11+00:00

The 3-day rule is complete BS, I have texted my dates on the same day without sounding needy, but I've had friends texting their dates on the 3-day rule basis and still sound needy.

It all comes down to your conversational skills, how you deliver, and the next day is also fine, just do not beg for anything ever, be a gentleman and act like one.

joebat219 · 2025-09-04T04:39:47+00:00

I always wait atleast a week. Not to play games but to see how i really feel since first date feelings vs week feelings is always different. If she texts me before than tho ill usually set up a date. My rule of thumb is always a week.

Certain_Process_7657 · 2025-09-03T14:25:04+00:00

First off, always go for the kiss if the first date has lasted at least 2 hours. If you get snubbed, don't ask for a second date. That's usually a pretty strong indicator that she isn't romantically attracted to you.

If she does want to kiss (I have over a 90% success rate with getting a solid kiss when I apply this rule personally), just text her later that night. Hope you made it home safe. Had a great time. Looking forward to seeing you again soon!

If you haven't already done so during the first date, set up second date plans within the next few days. Try not to wait much more than a week in between dates during these early stages. Important to stay at the top of her mind.

mllewisyolo · 2025-09-03T16:14:36+00:00

If it went well I usually try to just set something up on the spot for the next time..

But if you want to contact her, just hit her up and make plans

PlayDontObserve · 2025-09-03T16:33:53+00:00

Don't front with the artificial waiting game. Ask during the first date if the vibes are high, and if not, I'd ask soon after that. A girl who likes playing those immature games is just that, a girl, not a woman.

IEThrowback · 2025-09-03T17:04:07+00:00

Fuck what anyone else says, its when you get home. Say something short and direct about how you “had a great time and hope to hand out again soon.”

Then after they responds with something similar politely tell them goodnight.

This creates thoughts in their mind about what another date could entail but also that you are headed to bed; you have autonomy in your life and aren’t trying to text all night.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-09-03T18:24:45+00:00

This can be ymmv territory. Some like to suggest it at the end of a date, later that night, or within the next few days. I think putting the ball in her court to call or text when she gets home is pretty solid and gentleman-ish.

cookie12685 · 2025-09-04T01:10:33+00:00

Don't text them 1st until you're ready to plan a 2nd

Virtual_Ad_4817 · 2025-09-04T01:16:53+00:00

Ideally set up the second date in-person while you're on the first date. "When are you free next? We should do xyz I wanted to try it."

Absence does not make women more interested. It will make her forget about you. A lot of those early PUA guys were giving that advice in the context of how text messaging was in 2009 but now it's changed. The present-day guys who are giving that advice are just regurgitating it and not speaking from actual experience. Trust me I've been in this game a long fucking time.

If you don't set it in-person, text her again that night or the next day to see when she's free next.

If she doesn't schedule a second date with you it's probably because she didn't enjoy her time with you on the first date. Not because you didn't "make her feel the absence." lmao.

AlastairXXL · 2025-09-03T13:16:20+00:00

If no kissing or intimacy then never

encryptedkraken · 2025-09-03T13:26:35+00:00

Be direct open and quick about your intentions

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-09-03T13:49:41+00:00

Women make decisions based on how they feel in the present moment. Asking her right away fails to comprehend that she first has to feel like seeing you again. And even if NOW she feels like seeing you again, doesn't mean she will continue to feel days later like seeing you again. You just had a date, she has to process the date.

She needs time to know how she feels about you, does she feel like she can't get enough and is counting the days towards a second date or is she more like "mmm, it was all right, but i don't really have the urge right now to rush into a second date.

When you suggest "hey lets meet again" right after a date, it is usually is a bad move, because more often than not she is unlikely to be the same page about wanting more, unless you two had amazing sex. If you two didn't even kiss in the first date, then it's unlikely she has reached the conclusion already that she wants to set up a new date.

This doesn't mean you don't text her, but its more about recalling the good moments in the date, inside jokes and so on, rather than rushing into a date again. The idea is you get her to feel again. You want to make her feel, share about how you felt during the date without saying if it's good or bad. Just observations about how it felt with detail, in such a way that she has no clue if you are saying it's good or bad.

Hence i wouldn't say "i had a good time", i would just say "that felt different". Different is ambiguous as it's not clear whether that's good or bad. If she asks what you mean, you express things that you felt throughout the day but avoiding saying "i like it or i dis like it" or i felt good or i felt bad".

Just express feelings. The adrenaline, the nervousness, the way you couldn't hold a luagh in one moment, the wya you felt some tension in another, the way you had modbid curiousity about one thing, the way you felt your heart racing in another moment, the way you got distracted by gestures she did or the way she was dressing,...

This is more intriguing and more reltable to her, than sayin "it was good or i like it or i can't wait to see you again".

So it's not about waiting 3 days to text, it's about refusing to say whether the experience was positive or negative in a straightfoward manner and instead focus on describing feelings about specific moments of the date.

In other words, deepen the connection a bit, let her build onto that, and then when it feels natural to push lead into another thing do it, but that shouldn't be an outcome you are rushing to, it should be the natural progression so if you are rushing into saying two or three things and immediately jump into "ok enough talking, now where is my second date", then you are doing this wrong.

kibbutznik1 · 2025-09-03T13:06:08+00:00

Straight away .. otherwise you are just playing games

Title	After a first date, when is the best time to text a woman for a second date or re-initiate contact?
Author	HedgehogOk3756
Upvotes	26
Comments	52
Date	September 3, 2025 12:36 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1n7dm8l/after_a_first_date_when_is_the_best_time_to_text/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/after-a-first-date-when-is-the-best-time-to-text-a.1561171 https://theredarchive.com/post/1561171

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