Am I doing enough to get myself out there?

Breadcrumbss · 2026-03-04T21:20:51+00:00

Go out to places where your ideal woman would be and where the ratio is slightly better. Women will naturally be a little intimidated to go to a male dominated space.

If you want to meet an athletic person, go to run clubs / gyms. If you want to meet artsy types, go to pottery/plant workshops. Book clubs, boozy lectures (our city just started this, where you go to lectures taking place at bars, cafes, etc…). I’ve met loads of women at these lectures.

Not a lot of women go to bars to play pool and darts in general.

You can’t go to the desert and expect to catch fish. Go to the lakes. Luck is about putting yourselves in places/positions to increase your chances of success.

Edit* Caveat. There is a line between "going to a run club to meet women" and "joining a run club because you like running and are open to meeting people." If you show up to a pottery class and clearly hate clay, it can come across as disingenuous or "predatory."

Western-Month-3877 · 2026-03-04T21:37:22+00:00

Yes you’re doing enough, even maybe a bit too much. I can imagine going out at night 2-4 times a week just to look for a hookup. You’re right far more of them only show up on weekend, they know where the crowds are.

But they’re basically everywhere, mate. I had done night game for a few years just like you until I got bored and thought of changing my game into day game. More relaxing, slow pace, less costly, no alcohol and pukes. I approach them out in the street, in a mall, in a grocery store, coffee shops, even quite a few times in a bank.

Not always lucky, but I talk to them even if I only have a slight interest as they’re not really that good looking. Trying not to be very picky. At least I look at the bright side “hey maybe I can practice my approach and skills” or “maybe she has some friends that I can hook up with.” I usually do it while doing my errands so no time wasted.

epimpstyle · 2026-03-04T22:14:06+00:00

Think about a taxi driver who says he only takes passengers from here to XYZ. Do you think he’d have customers every day, or just one a month, maybe one a year? You're doing the same thing..

You're stuck in your comfort zone, doing only what you enjoy and hoping for the best without adjusting. I don't get this mindset, it’s fundamentally flawed and relies way too much on pure luck.

devonwillis21 · 2026-03-04T21:21:52+00:00

There's no shortage of women, you're doing plenty already. It's good to go out with the purpose of meeting women but you still have to be intentional in the moment.

A woman can decide to go out one day, do nothing but look pretty and come home with 5 numbers. Just being present as an average guy isn't enough though, just make sure you're actually talking to the girls that interest you, and actually trying to create interactions with everyone, old guys, kids, any interaction will help you feel more comfortable and socially acceptable.

professionalfumblr · 2026-03-04T21:45:47+00:00

The best advice is to do things you enjoy doing, and don’t just do them for the possibility of women, but because of the aforementioned. When you’re getting out there enough, eventually you’ll meet someone for you. It cannot be stressed enough, meeting women is all about luck & timing (unless you’re a celebrity or wealthy)

Klutzy-Painting885 · 2026-03-04T23:32:03+00:00

Do as much as you can possibly handle. What’s the alternative? Sitting on your phone at home?

Ecstatic-Garlic-2070 · 2026-03-07T20:16:38+00:00

The main problem isnt simply about how many women there are to choose from at a given time thats a wrong mindset. you gotta think about how you actuall go and talk to them and the impressiona nd confidence that you elude during your conversation. thats what matters.

Ive had this problem for a while and it really only comes from really just being more social when the time matters and approaching when it seems right. think about what you would want in a women and those types of places are great to try out talking and building up the skills to have interesting conversations. the way that i got a lot better at it was by using this app 'Shawty - appraoch better' which literalyl gives metric-based insights on your cold appraoch conversations and tracks how to improve and what to do. literally a life saver

Most-Famous-Wasabi · 2026-03-04T23:58:50+00:00

"I'm looking at a pool. Am I learning to swim?"

No.

You learn to swim by swimming.
Not by looking at the pool.

If you want to meet women, then you have to actually meet women Not just go to where women might be.

MineDesperate2920 · 2026-03-05T03:07:04+00:00

I’d be going to clubs 2-4 nights a week instead if the goal is women

SettingOutrageous538 · 2026-03-06T04:35:00+00:00

I think you are doing enough volume bro. Your bottleneck is actually venue fit. Pool and darts are fun but usually dude-heavy (at least in my city lol), so your odds are just mathematically worse. Keep those for enjoyment, then add 1-2 mixed-gender spaces weekly where conversation is normal by default. The "go where your type already is" advice in here is the move. Think run clubs, classes, workshops, volunteering, low-pressure social events. I had better results once I treated this like practice reps instead of outcome hunting. RizzRise app helped me keep that reps mindset daily, then I took it into real settings without forcing weird pickup energy.

Matter_Still · 2026-03-04T20:41:05+00:00

You’re probably doing too much.

Women are not an endangered species. They are everywhere. But the chances are that you are experiencing situational inattentive blindness—the failure to perceive something because your attention is focused on something else, such as a task, object, person, or yourself.

Often we don’t see the world as it is; we see it according to our expectations.

Derren Brown, the mentalist, made a wonderful documentary on “Luck”. One segment included a man who believed (“expected”) he was never lucky. Brown set out to change that.

Go to Youtube and watch this segment.

https://youtu.be/AVECem2KqAA?si=PlbQPZV_PyCuwxSu

Like the hapless butcher I’d bet you are missing far more in your world than you would believe because your expectations are skewed toward the side of a world where women are hard to find.

Here is the entire program:

https://youtu.be/qs_6ALzb1gw?si=dn2AzqliKSGV_5z_

It’s your choice, but I wouldn’t blow this off. It may be a gamechanger for you.

Title	Am I doing enough to get myself out there?
Author	Sketchy-Turtle
Upvotes	7
Comments	19
Date	March 4, 2026 7:40 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1rkvbab/am_i_doing_enough_to_get_myself_out_there/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/am-i-doing-enough-to-get-myself-out-there.1574711 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574711

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